What is true forgiveness? How do you forgive someone?

Question

Does it mean we must "forget," in a way? When ppl say, "I'll forgive but I won't forget," are they kidding themselves? I'm confused.

Answer 1

it is easy to forgive someone but hard to forget.

Answer 2

If you forgive but you do not forget, you allow the person who wronged you to still have a hold, however small on you. When you forgive someone for something you should move on and let that issue go completely. You must be in control of your emotions, not the other way around.

Answer 3

True forgiveness is exemplified by the way God forgives repentent sinners, and the way we forgive is to emulate him. Here's an illustration.

A sinner asked God to forgive him. God said, "You are forgiven." And he took the burden of that man's sin and hurled it into a deep lake, where it sank to the bottom. Rejoicing, the man went away, liberated. But some time later his conscience began to reproach him and he began to wonder if God could possibly forgive and forget all that he had done wrong. He was tormented with recollections of some really wicked events. So he prayed to God, seeking assurance. God showed him, in a dream, that deep lake where the burden of his sins had been cast. There was the devil on the shore, with a fishing line! But nearby was a sign God had errected saying, "No fishing!"

Answer 4

Forgetting isn't forgiving. Forgiving isn't approving and forgiving isn't about being gullible to the possibility that you could be hurt again. Forgiving is a decision to free a person from their accountability for a wrong done. You're essentially saying, "I no longer require you to be accountable for this. You're free to move on unhindered by your mistake." But there is still accountability for future choices and behaviors.

We're no more obliged to 'forget' what has happened then we are obliged to forget what we had for breakfast this morning. Forgetting isn't necessary for forgiveness to take place, or to be genuine.

Answer 5

Forgiveness is Biblical, and we should not forget what someone has done, in the sense that we'll be smarter and not let them burn us twice. God wants us to forgive because He forgives us, and we all sin. Imagine if He didn't? God knows that forgiveness is good for the person who forgives. Holding a grudge doesn't hurt the person we are mad at; but it can destroy us...dragging around all that excess baggage is NOT good for us.
So...forgive the person
Remember not to let them do it again.
Show you are a Spirit filled person, and have God in your heart...you just might change their heart, by making them think that forgiveness is from God.

Answer 6

forgiving is so you do not have to walk around with ill feelings for someone , which really is more for you then even then [some people dont even care if you forgive them ].forgetting is almost impossible so therefore you are mindful of what error they may have committed but your able to move past it and allow the difficult emotional aspect to be put aside .
so when someone says i can forgive but not forget it really is a true statement as how can we simply wipe it from our minds ???
but we can wipe it from our emotional body and move past it .
i have found though that it does seem to do some damage ,however,but itis worth pursuing for ones own sanity and emotional well being .

Answer 7

People have been known to forgive atrocious things done to them and their families, and this has created a bond of amazing strength between people that were enemies at one time. It is hard to forget, but, after forgiveness remembering ceases to have the anger it may have had to start with.

Answer 8

When God forgives us He forgives us and remembers our sin no more. True forgiveness is to forgive others the way that God forgives us. To forgive and not forget is not true forgiveness. If we forgive and not forget there is still unforgiveness in us which will harm us in some way.

Answer 9

To forgive someone is basically to give them whatever negative process they took against you... as a freebie, so to speak.

Much like with material things.... some people are more prone to keeping a close tally of all that has been given and taken than others.... Some folks will give away stuff and receive gifts quite happily on a regular basis, and are likewise quick to forgive... and often quick to make silly mistakes and expect others to forgive them in return. Others like myself however are much more conservative in that respect ....

I personally save forgiveness only for those who I particularly favour.... usually because they must have done a lot that I consider positive in the first place to earn enough favour to make just about anything forgivable...
Anyone else who wrongs me... I will deal with by Lex Talionis...

Answer 10

Forgiving is something we do for ourselves, and not forgetting is a way of protecting oneself from further harm. I can forgive my daughter for her hurtful words, however I may choose to distance myself from her because of them. I'm not going to dwell on it, and I'll forgive her imperfections but if she doesn't change the behavior and she continues to be hurtful and then ask for forgiveness, she's not really sorry for her mistake. This is just an example but as you can see, forgiving her is for my peace of mind, not forgetting is what actually generate some desire to correct the behavior.

Answer 11

forgiveness is not for the sake of the one who did wrong. If you are holding unforgiveness in your heart, it will make you bitter and have a hold over you that is not healthy. God teaches forgiveness not just because he forgives us if we ask him to but also because it makes us feel better and gives us a release from the pain of bitterness. It's ok not to like someone who has done you wrong, and often sensible not to hang out with people who constantly let you down, but don't let them have a hold over you.