2 Golden or olden jokes - ratings pls.?

Question

A teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the matter clear, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

********

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Mary; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Tom. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead

A bonus Joke:-

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will five times!"

Answer 1

good joke
11
12
9

Answer 2

10 10 10

Answer 3

Joke 1 : around an 8
Joke 2 : around a 7
Bonus Joke : 15

Thank You for the laugh
1 good laugh deserves another.

Forgiveness ........
The preacher’s Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies.
He asked, how many have forgiven their enemies?
About half held up their hands.
He then repeated his question.
Now about 80% held up their hands.
He then repeated his question again.
All responded, except one elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" asked the preacher.
"I don’t have any." she replied.
"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" asked the preacher.
"Ninety-three." she replied.
"Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world." asked the preacher.
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, and said,
"It’s easy, I just outlived all those biotches."

Symptoms---------
After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern." He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old jerk," she replied. "That’s because the first time is usually in August and the second time is in January!"

One day a teacher in class was like, "we are learning a new word today. The word of the day is definately. Can anyone use this word in a sentence?" A boy name billy raised his hand, "the sky is definately blue" the teacher corrected him. "no the sky can be cloudy or dark. so thats not correct. anyone else?" A girl in the back raised her hand. "water is definately clear." the teacher once again corrected a student. "well water can be muddy or merky so thats not correct." Getting a little frustrated she asked, "does anyone else want to try?" A quiet kid named john raised his hand the teacher was suprised so she quickly called on him. He asked her, "are farts mushy?" a little confused the teacher answered "no why."
he replied "then i definately pooped in my pants."


Have a Great Day

Answer 4

The second joke was hilarious, imagine the teacher's reaction.
1. 7/10
2. 9/10
3. 8/10

Answer 5

Really funny!
1 - 15/10
2 - 10/10
3 - 9/10

Answer 6

5 times! that's 4 times too many! i always register important stuff like that and have it notorized by officials. i once had a co-worker sign off but that was changed long ago when he didn't show on moving day. you should always have copies of important documents in safe hands - ususally safety deposit boxes and with officials is a good start. and never ever do one up if u are not feeling well - that's a red flag. my suggestion is when it comes to matters of children and health - that's really important - the other stuff is really trival. the thing i like most about being a creative soul is i always think outside the box and have a widdddddddddde range of pals that would love to grow old and enjoy the wonders of this world - in pictures and in song. think positive and great things happen. there is never problems that don't have solutions. happy dance avec la cg! lol

Answer 7

I thought they were all fun!
Thankyou so much for the gift of laughter this morning... what a fine way to start the day with a giggle and a smile!

Answer 8

Man! Believe me I take few minutes before Clicking on to your Jokes !! Because I know they ought to be good and I run short of words to express my feelings about them !!! See today also same thing happend.....Thanks God , you asked for Rating ! Both the Jokes are neat, clean and makes you smile very naturally...10++++/10 to both of them ! Bonus one ....Bhent mein dee hui Ghodi ke Daant nahi ginte !!!! Thanks !

Answer 9

1. 8
2. 10
3. 8

Answer 10

1. 10
2. 9
3. 9

Answer 11

ok i'll give u 7 on the first joke, 9 both on the second and last joke