We have been friends for 6 years and sort of dated non-exclusively for a year and a half. We live in different countries and he has always said that we are made for each other and he thinks the world of me, but the situation has made a real relationship impossible. Now I'm moving to his country, and now he's saying he's not ready for a relationship?? Should I see him when I get there? I'm in love with him and very confused about this. We're 28 and 30.
2006-11-12 23:50:37 · 18 answers · asked by ida 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to make it clear; I'm not moving to his country for him but for myself. And we are not internet daters, but met 6 years ago and became friends. In those 6 years I have dated others, in fact the reason we couldn't be together when we first met was that I had a boyfriend. We have always had some sort of thing going on and then we decided to try it out last year. We have met 5-6 times since then, even though he lives in the US and I live in Europe. I have no clue why he's backing out now and don't know if I should wait or not.
2006-11-13 00:06:17 · update #1
It seems he has had plenty of time...I wouldn't wait...
2006-11-12 23:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by Juliette 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your making a move to another country forr this man and he's telling you he doesn't want a relationship??? If that's the only reason your moving then I would cancel everything and stay where I am. You will only be setting yourself up for disappointment and hurt when you get there. He's going to do his own thing and date other people and sleep with them as well. Can you handle that right now??? If so then more power to you, but I don't think that I would take this move if he has made that clear to me. If you two are meant fo each other then you will be with each other, but don't try and force things that just aren't there. This guy has been around for 6 years and he still has not managed to have anything serious with you. Your putting your life on hold sweetie. Your wasting your own precious time because your still hoping that he will be with you once and for all. Life is passing you by, don't wait another 6 years for this guy. He seems like he just wants the benefits of this friendship with you, and that's including sex.
2006-11-13 00:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to truly sit down and talk to him and tell him you came this far so that you could be with him and you want him to really search hisself to see if you're the one he wants to be with. And in the conversation you remind him of some of these things he's said to you. Because i feel like you are owed an explanation why someone would say the things he did then turn cold hearted. But honey I've been through this waiting game and as long as he knows you're gonna wait for him if he doesn't want a relationship he's not gonna make an effort to do so. So if he decides he doesn't then start going out to have fun and dating other people maybe that will help him make up his mind. Good Luck!
2006-11-12 23:58:52 · answer #3 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe,you could be in for bigger suprises...!!what if he is alerady married and has two kids?or is he gave u his wrong age??disasters always happen in life dear...we have to move along with it.Dont spoil your health and food and job thinking how he will react.Meet him,see him and understand how he is when u meet the person.Some ppl are known to live in fantasy land and can say a lot of things but hardly achieve a handful a few.See how he reacts...Try to change his mind.You should believe that there is nothing you cant do and everything is possible in this world.All the best.
2006-11-12 23:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Vishnu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should wait for him. There are certain types of guys who are indecisive and there is nothing you can do to change them. THey are always going to find excuses and there is nothing on Earth that would change them. I have been to a relationship like that and it worn me down and I gave up waiting for him. I think that some times we lose our energies and time with the wrong guy, thinking he is the right guy because to us, the guy might change, but this is a complete BS. Move on, girl, find another one and be happy. For you to feel in peace, if you are moving into his country, go and have a talk with him for your peace of mind only. BUt don't move into his country only because of him. Nobody is worth this sacrifice. If you don't love yourself, nobody will love you. Value yourself, stand for what you want and I am sure Mr. Right will knock at your door when you less expect, someday, somehow.
Good luck.
2006-11-12 23:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by mab 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he wasn't serious about you. He probably just wanted an internet girlfriend, but now that you are moving to his country, he might be afraid of an actual meeting. Maybe he has secrets (like he is married, in prison, etc). If you are moving to his country exclusively for him....rethink it. If he really cared for you, he would be ready for this relationship.
2006-11-12 23:53:45 · answer #6 · answered by granola.tree 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's afraid of committment or he's hiding something. See how it goes but don't wait too long for him. You've waited long enough, you're the one doing the moving...life is too short to wait on a man...even if you do love him.
2006-11-12 23:54:42 · answer #7 · answered by Vince 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO why is he not ready now that you are moving i his caountry, he has led you on all this time and this is what you get?
It is a pity you are inlove with him , otherwise i would advise you to move on.
Has he told you when he is going to be ready? he is probably hiding something and should not be trusted, why is he not ready now, is he knitting, writting home work or just sucking his thumb?
move on and good luck.
2006-11-13 00:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by buttercup 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to move on. Your 28 years old. Your biological clock is ticking. Find someone else. Sorry about being blunt, but it is the truth.
2006-11-12 23:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by SAHM/Part Time Tutor 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's backing out to me. If Angelina Jolie asked him out, I bet he'd be ready for a relationship. Dump him
2006-11-12 23:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by Snowth 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should be prepared for the worst & hope for the best in this case.Big move & if you moving for him don't get upset when things are not great. If you moving for you I wish you the best & big strong.
2006-11-12 23:54:48 · answer #11 · answered by "karma" 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋