my first girlfriend and i dated for a couple years but wound up breaking up for the reason that i was unfaithful to her.. more than once... biggest mistakes i have ever made. a few years later we now go to school together and bump into each other often. i realize now shes the one i want but dont know how to try this. she has a soft spot for me but doesnt really trust me for obvious reasons . what do i do
2006-11-12 23:44:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you know, i have a friend who have the same problem as you...well.. not really... it's like this, her boyfriend and her broke up...the guy decided that they should end their relationship that instant.. so, my friend has no other choice but to let him go even though it hurts... both of them still bump each other in school, but they never say a word..not even "hi"..my friend still loves him very much but she promised herself not to get her hopes up thinking that the guy still loves her too.. but here is why she got so confused: her ex boyfriend always sing their love song every time she pass by her ex's classroom...what makes her much more confused is when she asked for a sign if the two of them will be back together, the sign said YES... well, here's the bottom line...i have learned lots of things about their situation and i think this could help you with your problem...if you truly love this girl and if you think you still have a chance, go for it...nothing ventured, nothing gained kid.. so you gotta go for it... if you'll hide your feelings, it will make matters worse..you will all end up guessing and looking for answers that can never be found... you might even end up going CRAZY! you have to let those feelings set free if you really want to end your dilemma.. go for it! Love conquers all....though sometimes it can be a pain in the a*s.... =)
2006-11-12 23:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by -'UpEnDi'- 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is tricky, An old teacher I had once said " It can take a lifetime to earn trust and only a moment to lose it forever"
I myself would never take back someone that cheated on me, but if like you said she has a soft spot for you and you believe you won't cheat again then I'd suggest you just build a friendship with her at first, always show that she can count on you in times of need. If she needs your help always try to give it, be the best friend you can be.
Show that you can be honest with her- don't deceive her no matter how small the deception may be.
Once You've built a strong friendship with her and you're positive you can be loyal, tell her your feelings for her. Tell her that you know no matter what you tell her it will never make up for the hurt you've caused her. Tell her over the last few years you've matured emotionally and have really come to realise that you need her in your life and that if it takes the rest of your life to prove to her that you'll never hurt her like that again then you'd take that opportunity in an instant.
Just tell her your true feelings and hope to god that she'll give you another chance.
Hope that helps.
2006-11-13 07:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you were unfaithful to her before, then it may take more
effort to win her back than what you're willing to give. If you want her that bad, then try going down on one knee in the middle of her class and letting everyone know how you feel about her...
But YOU need to do some serious thinking first! A 'cheater' is really bad about cheating again, again & again. Just remember...if you cheaton her again, make sure it's because you don't care for her anymore, Because you won't have another chance with her.
2006-11-13 07:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jaded 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to earn trust. You got to show her that your focus is on just her and not everyone else. First i feel like you need to apologize to her and tell her that you were immature the first time y'all dated but now that you've had a chance to see that the grass isn't greener on the other side you realized that you want to be with her. And from there if she decides the same then you be there for her and be honest and faithful to her so that you can gain her trust back. Good Luck!
2006-11-13 07:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you cheat on her in the first place?
Naturally she would have a soft spot for you but she is unwilling to take the risk again. It might be possible if you had only cheated once but several times?
Mayb you shouldnt try to push for anything more than friends. If you break her heart again, this time its for sure broken. If you're sure you've changed, prove it... Take things slow and do all the small things she liked about you
Dont force
2006-11-13 07:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by SaM19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sry my bf broke up with me 3 times and I gave him a ton of chances! I got to the point when I couldnt trust him anymore for doing tht. He also humiliated me in front of everyone! Do u think thts how UR gf feels? Talk to her, and maybe she did feel how I felt. Only talking about feelings, and showing her u do care, AND NEVER DOING IT AGAIN will help. Good luck!
-Liv
2006-11-13 07:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by livvreally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering do you just want her back because you can not have what you want? If you have cheated on her before many times maybe you are just sorry that you got caught. First make sure you really want her and not just for your own selfish needs. Don't play with her emotions because you know she cares about you.
2006-11-13 07:50:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you put ed your hand on the right answer you said that she does't trust you So its first try to make a good relation and express to here that you could live without here girls likes presents so offer to here a beautiful present and say to here that Dr wagih support me to get you back and tell me please i hope to say me a good result for doing that hopping to all of you happiness and love
2006-11-13 08:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Wagih S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start by asking her if she wants you to leave her alone. if she does just do it. if she is not sure try asking her out for coffee. don't expect much you have cheated on her and that still hurts her. she will not trust you and that is normal. but let her be in charge of where the relationship goes.
2006-11-13 07:53:44 · answer #9 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to earn her trust back. Give her time and just be friends for now. She may forgive you for cheating, but she;ll never forget.
2006-11-13 07:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋