A friend of mine was expecting her frist child and it was due anyday, but it stopped moving and it's heart beat stop, and it passed away, can anyone tell me why this could of happened? mother and baby were both healthy, it just does'nt make any sense.
2006-11-12 23:41:46 · 13 answers · asked by honey 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Speaking as somebody who has lost a baby near term, I can tell you from sad experience that sometimes it just happens. Sometimes the doctors are able to determine a cause, and sometimes- as was our case- they are not able to. It is one of the saddest things in life, and there are no good answers when you come down to it. I can tell you your friend will need lots of understanding and support to help her through this hard time. She will need to mourn, and she will need people who can recognize and share her loss. Her emotions will vary from anger to the depths of depression, and all points in between. The only real advice I can offer you, from my experience, was that I did not honestly appreciate people telling me afterwards that I should remember I could have other children, or that there would be other children in the future. In my uncharitable moments, I would remind them that future babies were not replacements for the one I lost, that there was no replacing that child, and it would not be fair to another child to be considered a mere replacement. I already knew I could have other children, it was the one I lost that I wanted and couldn't have.
One of the most beautiful things a friend did for me was to create a memory book for us using the few items we had from the baby. The first ultrasound photos, the photo taken at the hospital, and a lock of hair one of the nurses clipped for me, and even the Mass card from the funeral. It was months before I could look at it without crying, but at least I felt like we had some way of celebrating her life, short as it was, and had some way to preserve the memories we had. I keep it with all my other baby albums, for the memory of my little angel. Maybe you could do something like that for your friend, if you think she would like it.
In the meantime, cry with your friend. Mourn the loss, share the pain, and look for better days to come. I hope you and your friend both find peace.
2006-11-13 00:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by The mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What an awful thing to happen, there is no rhyme or reason for these things. They will probably do an autopsy and find out the cause of death, sometimes they just don't know. But whatever reassure you friend that it wasn't anything that she had done.Mother nature has a strange way of preventing abnormalities , maybe the baby would have been brain damaged or had something seriously the matter with it. Look after your friend and tell her that she will go on - when she feels like it - to have a normal healthy baby one day !
2006-11-12 23:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by Helen L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem not to make any sense, but life isn't always perfect. It is very sad if something like this happens and it seems pointless.
There are various possible reasons for it : lack of oxygine (temporary or not), problems in blood circulation, an infection, or a growth disorder. I can name a few possibilities, but they could as well be all wrong. The main thing now is to take good care of your friend. Hopefully the docs can find a reason that makes it likely that her next baby stands a good chance to become a healthy kid.
2006-11-12 23:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by Great Muslim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for your friend. I lost a baby at 8 - 10 weeks gestation, but to go practically full-term and lose the baby must be heartbreaking !!! Sometimes it can be due to an abnormality that hadn't been picked up on or an infection or anything like that.
Unfortunately, your friend may never know what caused this tragedy, sometimes life is like that, things happen without any particular reason for it. All I can suggest is be the best friend she needs and support her (and the father - as he'll be feeling it too !!) as best you can.
2006-11-13 00:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing makes sense when a baby dies just before birth. It's a sad situation and no one can tell you why. There are so many factors that could cause that and it's nothing the mother did or didn't do. It's one of those mysteries of life. I pray that you and your friend especially can find comfort in this especially difficult time.
2006-11-13 00:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry for your friend and understand how you feel as this happened to a friend of mine also. The autopsy will find out what happened, from the cord being wrapped around the neck, or some medical reason. These things happen and they cannot always be explained for out understanding. Hopefully she will be able to have more children if she wants.
2006-11-12 23:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by redhotboxsoxfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really a question your friend would have to ask her doctors. There are so many different reasons why a pregnancy may not survive to birth (full-term).
I suggest you mention to your friend that she talk to her doctor about it if she has questions. It's one of the most difficult things to have to deal with, survive the loss of a child, and she will need as much help and support as she can get.
2006-11-12 23:47:30 · answer #7 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any of us can say for sure what happened, it could be a number of things. My guess is the umbilical cord got wrapped around the baby's neck. I'm sorry to hear of her loss.
2006-11-13 00:32:52 · answer #8 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats really sad news :-(. they will find out the cause in due time as they will examine the baby but in the meantime she cant beat herself up over this. its natures cruel way of saying its not meant to be.
2006-11-12 23:45:53 · answer #9 · answered by xxSHORTYxx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it doesn't make sense and I can't tell you why it happened. Really, no one can.
Be there for her and comfort her. Mourning is totally natural, but also watch for depression that continues.
Losing a baby at any stage is hard on mom.
2006-11-12 23:45:25 · answer #10 · answered by Sherral 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋