i broke up with my ex because the was being over protective and would not let me go out with my friends. they day before we split i lied to him so i could see my friends yeah i knw it was wrong anyway he found out and he hit me. he gave me a black eye broken rib and a broken nose, but the worst thing i we split a month ago and now i want him back what do i do? plz help
2006-11-12 22:35:15 · 23 answers · asked by crystal clear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I READ YOUR PROFILE. ONE OF YOUR QUESTION WAS ASKING ADVICE ON HOW CAN YOU DEAL WITH LOSING YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR BOYFRIEND! YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP AND FIND OUT WHY YOU SEEK OUT BEING TREATED SO POORLY. YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR SELF ESTEEM. GOOD LUCK, PLEASE HEED THE ADVICE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING, IT SEEMS TO BE SOUND.
2006-11-12 22:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by brxny2000 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
go back to him if you are clinically insane. If you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion then fine. But next time you get battered remember you deserve it for being so stupid.
Personally I have every sympathy for you at the moment, I could never be driven to hit a girl unless she posed a serious risk to my safety (i.e bread knive in hand), and any guy that does is pure skum. your just remembering the best of it which always happens, but remember the worst of it will come too, so you can count on being beat up by the cowardly piece of filth again. He cannot love you, nobody that is deserving of a life better than a life-time prison sentence could stoop so low.
2006-11-13 20:14:57 · answer #2 · answered by Bealzebub 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay as far from him as possible, unless you want another beating.....once started on the domestic violence path, its a very rare situation, for the abusers to change, they continue to abuse until someone is either dead or they are in jail....and the always say im sorry i didnt mean it, or ill never do it again, or its your own fault and you deserved it......
The abused need to understand that it is NEVER EVER ok, for anyone to do this to them, regardless of what they abuser tells you....
Repeated abuse has long-lasting, pernicious and traumatic effects such as panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability.
Initially, there is often much denial by the victim. Over time, however, the stress begins to erode the victim's life and psychological brutalization results. Sometimes the victim develops an almost fatal resolve that, inevitably, one day she will be murdered. Victims, unable to live a normal life, describe feeling stripped of self-worth and dignity. Personal control and resources, psychosocial development, social support, premorbid personality traits, and the severity of the stress may all influence how the victim experiences and responds to it ... Victims stalked by ex-lovers may experience additional guilt and lowered self-esteem for perceived poor judgement in their relationship choices. Many victims become isolated and deprived of support when employers or friends withdraw after also being subjected to harassment or are cut off by the victim in order to protect them. Other tangible consequences include financial losses from quitting jobs, moving, and buying expensive security equipment in an attempt to gain privacy. Changing homes and jobs results in both material losses and loss of self-respect.
And these are just some of the problems dealt with when a person is an abuse victim, i wish you all the best and sincerly hope you do not return to your ex boyfriend, he has some severe anger, and self worth issues, that he needs to work through before he gets involved with anyone...and you my dear need to get a hold of yourself and gain some self esteem....there are always people out there willing to help you in situations like this.....You are not alone....
2006-11-13 06:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no there is nothing wrong in you thinking like that - its just the way you feel - it shows your feelings for him
but heres the scenario:
you wanna see your friends, but he doenst want you too
but you go anyway so he hits you and gives you all these injuries ? now you want him back ?
ok so if you go and tell him that you want him back, that will make show him that you need him, so you will make him feel that he still has a 'grip' over you.
and if you get into this relationship again BELIEVE ME, he will become even more over-protective than he was the last time around - because you approached him for getting back together
watch where you are going girl ! unless you are prepared for his protective / obsessive behaviour getting worse than before, you should refrain from doing this.
just remember one thing - NO MATTER WHO HE IS, but the man who truly loves you and cares for you - will NEVER *EVER* hit you...
good luck
2006-11-13 06:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT TAKE THIS MAN BACK.!!!!!
He hit you - whether you lied, cheated, cut up his clothes - no matter how extreme - no man should hit a woman - (and no woman should hit a man either - just for the record).
You dont want him back - you probably just miss the security of having a man around to look after you. Find someone decent and forget about the woman beater.!
2006-11-13 08:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a controlling Abusive relationship. GET OUT NOW!!!
You think that he loves you and you think that it is your fault. but it is not. There is absolutely no reason why he should hit you EVER.
People can change, but when he says "I;m sorry, I will never do that again" he means "I'm going to do it again"
The change for a person like this is very time consuming, and will not be in your lifetime. As much as it hurts baby. Get of of there before you become a manipulated, shy, frustrated and abused old lady. Get out!!!!
2006-11-13 06:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by Triestobewise 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT GET BACK WITH HIM! He obviously has some seroius issues that are nothing to do with you, he is being over protective for no reason, its normal to want to see your friends! BUT it is not normal for him to beat you up because you told a little lie! How many of us do that from time to time regardless of what it is about, it happens but for him to do that to you was out of order. There is absolutely no reason why he should do that to you. You are confuseed because you probaly still love him even though he did this to you, I stayed with my ex boyfriend for over a year afetr he hit me and I have absolutely no idea why, now I am so glad I am not with him. There is someone out there who will treat you so much better, spend time with your friends and forget about this loser!
2006-11-13 09:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by I~Love~Baileys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not in love with you, why must he overprotect you are you not mature enough to take care of yourself. upon that a black eye, broken rib and broken nose, God forbid. get ride of him now! this is really an abused relationship. he has not paid for your dowry, he is behaving like this, what of when he owns you as his personal property what will do
2006-11-13 07:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by Jecs O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a great idea...you still have one eye and several ribs to go, so what's the big deal?! He might even knock some sense into your head one of these days, if he doesn't kill you and end up in prison in the process!
2006-11-13 06:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
soooo wrong! how many times does he have to hit you before you realise hes no good? hes not over protective hes controlling!get on with your life. someone will come along and treat you like right then your know what a real man is!
2006-11-13 07:11:06 · answer #10 · answered by dogbob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is that a rhetorical question?overprotective and he is not even your fiancee,he hit you and you want him back girl are you thinking straight?if he does it once he'll do it again after begging you and telling you it was a mistake and he is ashamed of him,self"please forgive me".He thinks you belong him and this is not good in a relationship.relationships are like partnerships you broke your part but only because it was a stupid agreement"not to have fun with your friends!".girl you know what is good for you and you are worth more than that.if you love yourself then you know what to do.
2006-11-13 06:44:14 · answer #11 · answered by lady c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋