I am in love but also in a big problem......plz help!!?

Question

I am a 24 yr old woman and am deeply in love with a 30 yr old man, but unfortunately we r cousins, he's the son of my dad's sister i.e. my aunt. We also share a physical relationship, we never intended this but once in a weak moment we lost cntrol of our emotions and went into this relationship, and since then we opted to be in it. Although we both have committed to each other but are not willing to bring up this issue in the eyes of our parents, coz we know it wud result into a disastrous situation causing the breakdown of our family relations, nobody wud support us. For the same reason, i know one day i wud hv to let him go... but even the thought of getting away from him and living my whole life without him scares me. I don't know what to do now, i feel so lost. From his and my condition it seems to me that we'll keep loving each other like that, but will it happen coz i've not known anyone who has done this for the 1 whom he/she loves, what do u think about our relation, am i right

Answer 1

IN CERTAIN PLACES MARRIAGES IN THIS RELATION IS ALLOWED. BETTER YOU TALK TO YOUR PARENTS OTHERWISE GO FOR COURT MARRIAGE.

Answer 2

Hi Swetha..You are 24 yr old woman and you know wat is rite & wrong..And as somebody has already answered this is not incest and it is only between the brother and a sister in the same family. It s all how much you can compromise..You know abt both your families..See the impact..One more thing you have to take into consideration is if you marry your cousin or someone whos is a close relative then there is a chance that your offspring will have to face some problem e.g., eye problems..So consult a doctor and make sure this is not goin to happen.. Once you are through here it depends all on your scale of compromise. After all there are lots of debate even here so i think marryin ur cousin should nt be a problem..It differs from religion,caste and all .. so you can always come to a far away place as somebody has told and live with no hassles...I m sure both your families will have to submit over a period of time..I could see lots of intercaste,interrelgious marriage and they unite later... So forget it if you dont face any medical problems.

Answer 3

There is no strict sense that one shud not marry son of sister.There is a tradition in most south indians that they wud marry cousins to safe guard the interest of family properties from kings. etc.,The science or doctors say that u cannot marry the sons or daughters of same line ancedents ie brothers and siters shud not have realtion.but as far as sisters son or brothers son etc the genes have mixed with other respective spouses which r not from same family so there will not be techincally problem.U can get checked by doctors medically and convince your parents.U can justify your case showing some married couples or the exisitng traditions.But rather this ur love bond shud be good so check whether he is compatible and relation can be good for all time to come in all other aspects except this.Only then u take a bold decision and carry on.I dont say u shud disobey ur parents as the support of parents for a family life is most important.take time to convince them.They will understand and oblige. after all they want welfare of children and u r known and reliable.

Answer 4

If you are Hindu, I don't think it is possible to marry your cousin. Anyway, it is something you have to decide. Either you have to face the family and marry each other or move away from each other. NOW. In either case, one or both of you (as you decide) should move to a far away city or leave the country if possible. Because once you are out of sight, where your family cannot reach you, you will be relatively safer. Even, if you separate, the best course will be to move away from each other and don't worry, everybody moves on. You will too.

Answer 5

Dear Girl,

People in the age in which you are do tend to get swayed and especially in India , a close society this sort of interaction with cousins happens and tends to trigger raging hormones. But please let this be the last time for both of you.

What you are doing is termed as incest which means:
Incest is sexual activity between close family members. Incest is considered taboo, and forbidden (fully or slightly) in the majority of current cultures. The precise meaning of the word varies widely, because different cultures have differing notions of "sexual activity" and "close family member". Some cultures consider only those related by birth, while others include those related by adoption or marriage. Some prohibit sexual relations between people who grew up in the same household, while others prohibit sexual relations between people who grew up in related households.

Incest can occur between same-sex as well as opposite-sex relatives. It can also occur between related children as well as between parents and their children. In addition, there have been cases of incest between adult relatives. Hinduism speaks of incest in highly abhorrent terms. Hindus were greatly fearful of the bad effects of incest and thus practice to date strict rules of both endogamy and exogamy, i.e., marriage in the same caste (varna) but not in the same family tree (gotra) or bloodline (Pravara).

Not online are you doing a wrong thing, later your children may also be affected. Because Inbreeding leads to an increase in homozygosity, that is, the same allele at the same locus on both members of a chromosome pair. This occurs because close relatives are much more likely to share the same alleles than unrelated individuals. This is especially important for recessive alleles that happen to be deleterious, which are harmless and inactive in a heterozygous pairing, but when homozygous can cause serious developmental defects. Such offspring have a much higher chance of death before reaching the age of reproduction, leading to what biologists call inbreeding depression, a measurable decrease in fitness due to inbreeding among populations with deleterious recessives. Recessive genes which can contain various genetic problems have a tendency of showing up more often if joined by someone who has the same gene. If a son who has hemophilia becomes intimate with his sister who may have the same gene for hemophilia, and they have a child, the odds are in favor that the child will have hemophilia as well.

Advice: What has happened has happened, both of you should forget about it and move forward, go out meet friends you will find some one who you will ultimately fall in love.
Good luck>r

Answer 6

Love & friendship go mutually with out friendship there is not any love and visa versa.yet in accordance to me friendship is greater than love.Friendship is a lot greater advantageous than love, i could have faith, because of the fact specially circumstances love can die out, yet friendships final continuously.authentic friendship will ultimately bring about actual love. there should be distinctive issues in place previously ye love will take place like: verbal substitute, have faith, faith, being concerned, and so on. you only won't be able to hurry issues. If it meant to be, this is going to take place. you're able to desire to have endurance.

Answer 7

Yes, you are right in taking a decision now. You either have to keep loving him or let him go. Any other intermediate solution will cause more trouble.
It seems you guys love each other, so my answer to your "family or love" dilemma is love. But hey, thats just me. If you think your family ties are more binding, then you'll have to stop loving him and let him go.

Answer 8

What u did is wrong but it is done. I ll tell u 1 thing whom u love marry him only by marring a person whomm u dont love than u will destroy your life by your hands only. Nedd an help then mail me at [e-mail]. Bye 4 now

Answer 9

Hey Let me tell u one thing...its very easy to dream but sometimes it may be difficult to fulfill it. There r always two ways in life: one is easy but will lead to pain in future...other one is difficult but will end up with better results....i know its difficult for u guys to come out of ur relationship so there is no point mentioning this solution to u,...i knw u won't follow it,....what i could suggest is that be into this relationship..but never think of ur future...ie ur marriage..dont dream of it.....once u guys get married to someother person..then try to luv ur better half..beleive me that can be done and u shld do it....

Answer 10

just get out of this relationship and move ahead. it wont bring any happiness and peace in ure lifes once it is figured out by someone. and u guys will happen to ruin ure family someday with this. u all r first cousins and as per the hindu marriage act it is not legal either. try getting out of it dear. i can understand that weak moment u lost to each other but u r making ureselfs weak and may be your complete family weak. it wont exists after ure deeds r figured out.

Answer 11

I'm reading a book called Forbidden Flowers by Nancy Friday. The books consists of letters from people, mainly women. There is one from a couple in your situation. At first I thought incest to be obscene and unnatural but after i read this letter i realised that when you meet someone that you just click with in a loving, sexual and friendly way, its hard to let go. I would think abt this hard and you need to assess how it will affect family. If there are more pros than cons of being with him then go for it.

good luck