a statistic has just come through that last year a man was knocked down on the road every 10 hours. By Christmas he was totally pissed off !!!!!!!!!
2006-11-12 19:10:51 · 14 answers · asked by Shredder 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Don't even other to answer if your'e a Yank.!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-12 19:19:56 · update #1
Aw, do you get pi**ed off Brent when everyone tries to knock you over?
Tell me, do you drive an American car?
2006-11-12 22:35:44 · answer #1 · answered by Kizzy_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind Him "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club card points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.....
Thank you for shopping at Tesco.
2006-11-13 03:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Uh huh... So what's the question? Even Be careful 'A'? is not a question... It couldn't even be considered Rhetorical...
Perhaps if there was a comma... ie. Be careful, A? though in this forum it would still be impossible to answer, as 'A'? would be pidgeon english (or just lazy/booner english) for 'hey'? which would imply that you didn't hear something...
But it wasn't to bad a joke... a bit like "Two men walked into a bar, you'd think the second guy would've noticed the first"...
2006-11-13 03:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jon S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
And then...?
One Friday night, a policeman saw a car parked up at "makeout point." Shining his flashlight in the window, he saw a young man fidgeting in the front seat glancing at his watch and a young woman sitting in the back seat and reading a magazine.
"Excuse me, son" said the cop, "but how old are the two of you?"
"I'm eighteen, sir, and" (checking his watch another time) "in ten more minutes, she'll be eighteen too!"
2006-11-13 10:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love somebody tell him or her to be careful very time bcos everthing about this life is dangerous and life is risk.
2006-11-13 03:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by beeky mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of the road then. is that too easy?
2006-11-13 08:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be and all !!! Yes very funny, good start to the week !
2006-11-13 03:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by what.ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be used to it by now !
2006-11-13 03:15:55 · answer #8 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know what a joke is ?
oh yeah you are one
now mark g 's joke is funny
2006-11-13 03:23:27 · answer #9 · answered by locko550 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not even close to being funny
2006-11-13 03:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by dec g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋