My son is aggressive and misbehaves...why??

Question

My son who is nine, is very fidgety, misbehaves, aggressive and gets easily distracted. He is overall an intelligent student but due to his distractive nature, he loses marks. He was prescribed Ritalin two years ago, which he consumed for two months. Any side effects? What can I do to make him more focused in the classroom? His father doesn’t take interest in his lessons, just thinks of himself. I am the only person running errands for my son. Due to this pressure, I get irritated and expel my irritation on my child. Will my anger and labeling my son, hurt him in the near future? Please help.

Answer 1

Maybe you should take a look at how much sugar he is eating. It makes kids hyper and all of the junk food doesn't help either. Corn syrup is in just about everything tho and is usually the culprit.

Answer 2

I'm wondering if some of this is due to the fact that Dad isn't paying any attention.
I'm also not so sure that this isn't normal for a 9 year old who is trying to figure out where he fits into the whole life picture thing.
The aggressiveness worries me however, violence ensue's violence and that isn't good.
Does he have a learning disorder? If so, maybe that can be corrected if someone could help. Sometimes the child will act up just to distract what they don't want someone else to see.
I'm sure that you are about to explode. However, he's not the one to blame. He's only a part of the problem. I think anything you do that is negative will only help this problem with him escalte. Do yourself a favor, talk to the Dr. again, get with a couple of other parents that may have this type of thing happening and find out if this is normal, talk with the school nurse and ask her advice, then get to a mental health care office and see what their advice would be and then base your decision on clear facts.
I wish you the best, I hope and pray that this will be better for you soon. Try not to label or name call or yell at your kiddo, he's only 9....God bless and I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Answer 3

One of my friends has a son that is bi-polar...causes him to go all over the behaviour scale!! I don't know what Ritalin's side effects are...IF he's intellegent..do you think that maybe the lessons aren't enough of a challenge for him..that he gets bored easilly and needs more to stimulate him?! I'd leave his father out of this..cause he seems alot like my EX husband...and he's that way for a reason!!! Just remember your son...hey...I just thought of something...is his father around or living somewhere else?! Cause he may be doing this JUST for attention..my son who is NOW 14 acted HORRIBLE between 9 yrs and up until last year when he was 13!! He wanted attention at ANY cost!! Had his father and I arguing about him for quite a few years..He would do things for attention NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE..didn't matter as long as we focused on him alone!!! ( we have an older daugther together as well!!) He may be just wanting to show dad he NEEDS HIM?! Just don't put a label on your son..just be there and be supportive!! He'll thank you in the future...I know my 14 yr old did!!

Answer 4

I'm in the same boat, only with two boys that are exactly as you described. First of all, get him off the Ritalin. There are other medications that work just as well with fewer side effects. Many children who stay on Ritalin end up hooked on drugs when they are taken off. Try Concerta, it helps a lot with my boys.
Also, get a prescription for yourself. I take a Xanax when my boys begin to get to me. It doesn't make me "buzzed", or affect me in any negative way, it simply allows me to maintain my cool a little better. If you are yelling and screaming, then your son will do the same. If you stay calm and in control, then it will be easier to deal with him. Don't be afraid to admit that you may need help doing this. Since I explained my problem to the doctor and started taking the Xanax, my dealings with my children have become easier. I can stay in control. Your child wins when you lose it. Don't allow that.
In regards to the classroom...your son may be bored. Have him tested. He may be very intelligent and need more a more stimulating educational environment.

Answer 5

It would be difficult for anybody to tell exactly what the problem is concerning your son without him being tested by a professional. He may have a medical problem, that is causing him to have a short attention, and anger issues, or it may be a simple problem having to do with his environment and the problems that you may be having. I'm not blaming you, but let's face it we do affect every aspect of our children. When we are stressed, unhappy or lonely, our children often suffer right along with us. I would have your son tested at school, or by a child psychologist as soon as possible before the issues get out of hand. If the results do not prove to be medical related, then you and your son might benefit from some good counseling. Counseling is a wonderful way for the two of you to bond and work out whatever difficulties may be causing his behavior problems. Good luck to you both. You've already proven that you are a good loving mother, otherwise you would not show such concern for your child. Hang in there mom!

Answer 6

Wow. Your son sounds almost exactly like me. I was prescribed Ritalin when I was young and my dad always described my behaviour as "stoned" so to speak. Where I was just sitting in the classroom not paying attention and I, like your son, was still doing relatively well in school. I suggest having a good long talk with his father and please try not to express your anger on your son. Get a punching bag or something and take it out on that. Don't hit him or slap him like my dad once did. It left me scared for quite some time and it will do the same to your son.

Answer 7

Experiment with how your child acts after eating certain foods. This could change a lot. I am not a fan of drugs to resolve a child's issue. Be consistent with what you expect from your child, including his behavior at school. And never discipline when angered. Take a break and then calmly sit your child down. In addition labeling a child will create what comes out of your mouth.

Answer 8

your son is trying to get attention probally from his father if he is the one who is never in the picture and he is probally also picking up stress from your irritation. You should go and speak with your childs doctor and the school counsler and together come up with a plan that can be consistant which should curb his behavior. My son goes to counsling with his counsler once a week and his teacher sends a note home everyday with how he did and now he is a very well behave student and he also started being good at home to.

Answer 9

He might do better or Adderall, or a different drug. We go to specialists for ours not just the regular doc.

If you are up to it and want to try other things, Karate is recommended by some. Kids develop more mental and physical discipline through its structure.

Good luck,

Answer 10

Straight answer? Go with youre son at karate club! There he will learn to control himself, meditate on things and , very important, get another view of life! Do it now!