I've been burned so many times in relationships so I try to be cautious but we've been dating barley three weeks and we've already discussed having sex! we were supposed to a couple of time and then things got in the way, but now theres a bunch of drama, and he foudn out I lied to him about something really minor but still a lie I dont know if he's going to forgive me! I like him so so much I wont say I love him but down the road if we stay together I think I WILL love him! we're so good together and I hate to be away from him I cant stand the thought of him leaving me over me making a stupid mistake, he's a recovering drug addict too so he cant have too much drama in his life, I dont want to compromise his recovery I know that his recovery comes first and I want it to be that way! but I dont want to lose him either :( any insight?
2006-11-12 17:27:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I try to remain independant not acting too clingy cuz I knwo he doesn't liek that stuff, and as far as sex, I've onlky had sex once and I was drunk it was the worst experience of my life and I really care about this guy so I know it's early but we want to and I think it's ok since we're both adults now
2006-11-12 17:27:30 · update #1
exactly how old are u?
i would say wait... u shouldnt think he NEEDS sex because of his recovery... hes a big boy and can handle this without sex...
i waited about 5 months with my boyfriend (im 20, hes 28) and i dont regret it... its going to be SOOO much more meaningful and lasting.... the faster u have sex the faster ur relationship will end
2006-11-12 17:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, red flags here. First of all, you must tell him about the little lie, and sees how he reacts. If he reacts badly, then lose him. He is a time bomb waiting to explode. Being addicted and all is not so good, and depends on where he is with his recovery. You do not want to wind up a fatality, you just never know with some people. I would say, wait, because then if the little lie is a big thing, it will only intensify if you have sex and become a relationship, so get the little lie out of the way first. You must know a little bit more about this man first.
2006-11-12 17:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Curious........
I read your situation and I must say you have alot going on, not only with him but with yourself as well. Ok, so he found out that you told a little white lie in which you feel was about something that is in your mind not a big deal. Well hun, let me tell something with wanting to be with someone that is a recovering drug addict its gonna be a big deal with him. Because now he probably gonna have a trust issue with you. Even though you might feel that it was something minor, he is not gonna see it that way. One of the things that makes relations work is TRUST. With him being a recovering drug addict he is gonna need someone that not only can he rely on, but someone he can trust. He is gonna need your love and support so that he can fully recover from this unfortunate situation he got himself into. As far as this guy forgiving you, well that is something that the 2 of you have to talk about. You need talk to him and be completely up front and honest with him. After that, its gonna be up to him if he wants to forgive you. As far as the 2 of you having sex, well all I have to say about that is......if you have to think about it and ask yourself if you should, then its probably not a good idea. I believe before sex is brought up again in this relationship you need to work on fixing the broken pieces. You need to get his trust back and he needs to fully recover so that way when the time comes...the sex will be that much more enjoyable...That I can promise you. Fix your problems first.......then you can have all the fun you want. That is as long as you are comfortable with the idea. Remember, you will always be in the driver seat when it comes to sex...He has to respect your decisions, ok. Good luck hun.....If you want, let me know how things go ok? My email is dizzyd28@yahoo.com
2006-11-12 17:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by D.J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i defenitly understand, me and my boyfriend actually got in a fight because i lied about something so minor i didnt even really think about it, but he found out and freaked out. but dont worry you need to give him a little bit of time and of all things you need to be there to help him to recover. your not in his way, you may be helping him more than you think you are, i hope this helps.
2006-11-12 17:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by Linneas Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now he needs to recover first,after that you can about it again,if you think its okey for both of you to have sex then go,as what you've said your old enough to know what is good and not.next time,don't lie, it wont do any good to your relationship if you lie.Goodluck!!!
2006-11-12 17:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by carmi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u really want a relationship with someone you have to tip-toe around all your life? You need to be honest & communicate about everything to be a successful couple.
2006-11-12 17:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by winkcat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to convince him that u wont lie agn, and it wud depend on him,whether he wud forgiv or not but as far as u can do the max is apologising and promising not to do that evr agn
2006-11-12 17:32:13 · answer #7 · answered by vish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like Gina, i'm Filipino and that i likely have Spanish blood in me and that i'm a million/8 chinese, yet i extremely evaluate myself all Filipino because i do not recognize any chinese kinfolk (my tremendous-grandpa is finished chinese and he went to the Philippines and married my tremendous-grandma, hence my grandpa is 0.5 chinese, yet he replaced into not uncovered to chinese lifestyle). i'm purely extremely proper to Filipino lifestyle.
2016-11-29 02:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You blew it with him,accept it and move on.Cause he'll never trust you no matter what you do now.
2006-11-12 17:32:33 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would help him forgive you.
2006-11-12 17:52:50 · answer #10 · answered by n_jevne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋