what can I do for my 5 year old sons hatred towards his family?

Question

Our five year old when he is @ school is the best child ever so we've heard but @ home he spits @ us and he punched me in the back of my head in public because I did not buy apple juice, he screams at his younger sibblings that he hates them and he always will. I don't know what to do I could go on for days on more of his issues before i finish but I give up. please all advice will be considered. (within reason)

Answer 1

your son needs set boundaries with praise and attention as reward,,does this behavior get him what he wants?children only know what we teach them and if this behavior has been a successful bargaining tool for him he will continue to use it,,,sit him down and TELL him how things are going to be different from now on,at 5 years old he does understand,you must set some guidelines for him to follow as children who know the limits behave better as the options for something different is not available and the only way to get what they want is to do as they are told,,,spitting at you is disrespectful and to act up In public is showing you he can control you as he knows pushing this button works,,do not tolerate this and make sure it does not go unpunished,,he will challenge you,,he will try to wear you down but this is the role of child,,to see how far he can go,,to do as he feels entitled to do,,,you are in fact raising not a naughty but a spoiled child and as he grows older this behavior will worsen as his needs for more attention and his wants get greater and dealing with a child who treats you like this is a hell of a lot different from taking this from a growing,,much taller and stronger teenager.you need all the family to know what is happening so they too can follow your rules as allowing others to let him carry on this way will confuse him and lead him to believe your rules can be challenged by pitting you against them.give clear rules and clear punishments and if he breaks those rules you MUST follow through with the punishment or he will know your disapline means nothing and you are not someone who he needs to listen to.make the punishment fit the crime,,for a small misdemeenor,,a small punishment,,say,,he wont sit at the table properly,,take him away from you all,,place him elsewhere and return to your seat,,ignoring him but telling him if he wants to join the rest of you to eat properly he must behave,,he will try to see if you are serious and if he comes back or throws a tantrum just get up,,ignore him and return him to the original place,,do not add punishment as this gives the impression you are not in control and the punishment you have already placed can be altered,,this is very important,,he needs to know what you say is LAW in your home,,he doesnt get to bargain or change the rules but neither do you,,if he believes you know exactly what you are doing he will learn what you say is what will happen,,a clear message he does understand.for more severe behavior,which you will get as he is finding out how far to push you,,say he ransacks his bedroom or writes something on a wall in your home,,take him away,,tell him exactly what it is he has done that you will not tolerate,,tell him to stay where you have told him to stay and after he has calmed down and appologized that he now has to clean up his mess,,you may help him if he asks you nicely but you want him to tell you what he thinks he is being punished for,,he does know and after crying and maybe screaming,,,(ignore this,it is designed to get your attention and get you to drop the punishment)he can tell you,,always make him apologize and always be clear on the fact you are not happy,,,,pay attention to the good things he does,,praise his efforts no matter how small,,he will learn good behavior gets reward and bad behavior gets nothing,,,he is happy at school because he knows the limits,he can see all the other children following them and that his day is filled with rules,yes,,but that they work and his strops dont.if you really cannot cope it may be best to contact your local social services and ask for local parenting classes,,these are very good and they will not treat you as a failure so do not be afraid to ask for help,,they wont come across as overbearing and they wont try to take him from you,,they are there to help so use them if you need to.good luck and be firm,,you are in control not the 5 year old.

Answer 2

The former post only scratches the surface.

Most kids act out for attention. A five year old has learned violent behavior somewhere. Only you know how. A professional child psychologist might be able to tell you why. Notwithstanding The Nanny on TV, it seems to me that taking control of this child immediately with professional advice might save you a world of heartache. Unlearning the acting out will take dedication and an understanding of why this kid is behaving badly.

A talk with his teacher at school and maybe professional help there might be in order, too. It's all about education. Yours and his. There may be other causes besides psychological ones, too. Act right now. You are the parent. He needs your love and your discipline.

Answer 3

First, when you are out in public and he hits you, you need to take him and leave where ever you two are at. Let him know that you will NOT have him hit you. No matter where you guys are, in the middle of a movie or a store or where ever. Leave with him and let him know that is why you are leaving.

Then the WHOLE family needs to go to counsling. Not just him. It will make him feel worse if it is just him. Family counsling will help him find out why he is acting the way he is and it will help the family learn to deal with him.

Then you need to take him to a doctor that can tell you if it is something medical that is making him act this way. It may be something other then him just acting bad.

Let your other children know that that he is the one behaving badly and to not fight with and to come and get you if he act wrong. It is best if just the parents correct him and not his brothers and/or sisters.

We are here if you need us. Good luck

Answer 4

That is a real tough one. My grandson is similar, a school angel and home devil. He is 7. My daughter got to the end of her rope with him and got him a shrink. His issues stem from his rotten father, we think. We don't know for sure. But that kind of behavior is normal to him now and that's the problem. Good luck to you, too. Don't give up.

Answer 5

you need to take your child to see a psychiatrist. it could be something serious.

Answer 6

So who has taught him this behavior?