Why can't I stand her? I mean, I absolutely can not stand her!!?

Question

I have a 3 year old daughter. I honestly can not stand her. I don't know if it's post partum depression from my 9 month old son, but she just keeps on doing stuff that annoys the heck out of me. On top of it, her father is no better than a 2 year old himself and never tries to teach her right from wrong. I get so furious with her. No, I don't go over the top and all out beat the heck out of her, but she is just too much. I honestly feel like she needs to be sent to a boarding school where they will force her to behave and obey without intentionally destroying everything she touches and intentionally trying to injure her little brother. She likes to throw glass and she likes to try standing on her brother when he's crawling around. That's not the worst of it, this is her on a good day. I honestly can not stand her and want to send her to a boarding school, and I hate feeling this way about her. I was not raised in a family like this, and I just don't like her.

I hate feeling this way, I can't help it. She is included in everything. She is given toys all of the time when funds are available, and I do spend a lot of time playing with her. I am usually a very patient person, but after so long it's just too much.

Answer 1

I emailed you privately about this

Answer 2

Please do not send her to a boarding school.. I dont think that will help.

If is is post partum then you need to get some outside help. RIGHT NOW!! A family member, a counsler, a doctor, someone that will come in and help you.

You also need to see that you 3year old is jelious of her new baby brother and she is trying to get your attention in the worst way she knows how. By sitting on him or throwing and breaking things.

Tell that wonderful hubby of your to gett off his A$$ and help you. That or you will find a really good divorice lawyer that will. HA HA.

Try and have your 3 year old help with the baby. That might make her feel helpfull and not want to destore things so much.

Is is possibable for you to leave them with a sitter so you can take a walk in the park or see a movie. Is your 3 year old in daycare or can she go to day care, that might help her be around other little kids, to work out some of her engry.

Remember that you are not a bad person for hating her for a moment. Just make sure that you dont ever tell her that or hurt her. Leave, walk away or you break something (without her seeing) first.

Answer 3

Go to your doctor, NOW.
It sounds like you have post partum, or just depression, and your daughter is getting the brunt of it.
She is probably going through her own stuff right now with the new baby, and not being the only child and is actng out. Also she can probably sense things aren't right with you, and how you feel and is trying to get your attention, even though it's bad behaviour...it is getting a reaction out of you.
Definately go see your doctor though, it's NOTHING to be ashamed of or scared to tell your doctor about. It's normal and can get better.

Answer 4

i was in the same situation she is standing up for her rights she has a new baby and he is taking all the attention she is jealous of the baby my son tried to kill is sister he was 1yrs old and snatched her off the bed she need to be a surred that nobody is going to take her place let her help with the baby bottle feeding or let her hold him or her so she can feel comfortable remember she was there for 3 yrs before someone envaded her space and took youre time away think about is what if someone invaded yur space

Answer 5

I think what needs to happen is you and just her take off for a day and go shopping and out to lunch and have dad keep brother at home and spend some quality mother daughter time and if that doesnt work maybe get family counseling and im not trying to be rude. maybe she can see some favortisim towards the new baby.

Answer 6

Give urself a break !! she is only 3 !! She is growing up, dont give up on her this quick. I was a quite stuborn kid myself, but have a wonderful father that helped me a lot.

Please consult a child psychologist. She is at a most crucial growing state which can be moulded the right way and you have to play a role.

Get professional help. Help a growing kid. We all have great parents to guide us. She needs one as well.

Answer 7

Some children are easy to rear, others are very difficult. Although, sibling jealousy is common, endangering younger brother is not acceptable. You do have a serious problem. Please seek family counselling for all of you--your daughter, your husband and you. I would suggest to contact your children's paediatrician immediately and ask for help and for a referral to a good young family counsellor near you. Good luck!

Answer 8

I can hear you crying out for help. I feel so bad for you. An undeciplined child can be nerve racking especially with a baby to look after also. But you do need to get some help before this leads to you losing it. Talk to your doctor to refer you to someone for counseling along with your daughter. Don't be embarrassed about this. You're not the first mother to feel like this and there is help available. Seek it before it's too late. That little girl is also crying out for something and needs help. So please help her.

Answer 9

I think U need to see a Physciatrist for this issue lady!! I hope U don't lose it, and harm her :( you need some counseling and/or medicine for your issues.. It does sound like post partum.. Call and get help for U and your family.. Plzzzzz It won't get any better, and alot of answers from here aren't gonna help U. U might get alot of answers U don't want to hear.. Plzz call your doctor asap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck :)

Answer 10

maybe because she is not your biological daughter you dont feel like you want to try so hard with her. Once you are a parent you cannot give that job up. You chose to be her father so now you have to deal with it. buy Dr. Phil's family first book. It will change your life around.