Why doesn't anyone care???

Question

I just don't get it. Why doesn't anyone care about me? I have no friends who are TRUE friends. Even my husband doesn't care. He's leaving for a six-week stay in Italy in a few months, and even though he knows I can't drive, he said I'm a big girl and I can figure this all out for myself. He doesn't care if I'm okay while he's gone. The people I work with don't want to give me rides; they're sick of it. My husband tells me I'm a burden; he'll sometimes make me wait at work while he finishes up a football game or an online poker game.
Truth be told, I don't feel like having friends anyway. I just want to be by myself. I feel... better that way. Most of the time.
I'm just so confused. I want someone to care. Even God is gone. Where did He go??? I haven't heard a thing from Him in over twelve years. What happened to the "come to me and I'll give you rest"?
I just don't get it! Where are the people I need to hold me up when I can't hold myself up? I can't find a single one. Not that it would help if I did. I have an almost phobic fear of opening up to people face-to-face, over even on the phone, which makes it stupid that I’m crying because no one cares. But I just don’t know what to do. I think that if I told my husband all this, he’d take it as a guilt trip. If I said I needed help, he wouldn’t want to drive me to the therapist.
*sigh*
I give up.

Please understand, I have a condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa. Because of it, I have no periperal vision and no night vision. This is why I don't drive.

Answer 1

I just saw your posting.....very sorry you are having these feelings.
I can see why you feel that way with not getting the support from your husband. That is where it really needs to come from...the closest one to you, for sure.

You mentioned God being gone, when actually he sees what is happening. Make the effort to do your best and reach out (where you can) to, perhaps family in the area? Confide in a family member even if it is over the phone. You DO need someone to talke to about this. Isn't that why you posted in the first place?

If you would like to have a personal Bible study, perhaps that would help build your faith that there are ones who care. Personally, I know a group in your area that may be able to help if you put forth the effort. Please contact me with your email and area you live in. Just city and state will do. I will send you contact info that can help you start back on the road to enjoying life now and forever. I don't not take your post lightly, so please contact me. [e-mail]

Livin' In Myrtle Beach

Answer 2

People care about u, but this could be the point in time where u r suppose to learn the life lesson of self-aliance. U can't expect everyone to do everything for u. Since u can't drive doesn't mean there aren't anymore mode of transportation, try walking, taking a bus, or ride a bike. God isn't gone he is letting u live ur life how u want when u are ready to listen u will hear what he is trying to say to u. To relieve emotional burdens try writing, painting, something to vent them. People care because they don't care the way u want doesn't mean that they hate u. I think maybe u should see the therapist because it could help understand the root of the problem and correct it.

But I have a feeling once u learn to rely on urself more ur problems will begin to ease.

Answer 3

First of all.......

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

Wow, my eyes actually welled up while I was reading that. The first thing you need to do is realize that you shouldn't rely on anyone else to make you happy. That comes from within. Put yourself first and don't worry about your husband for now. Get out and go to your favorite hangout spot. Exercising also helps with depression. The chemicals released into your body give you an uplifting feeling.

I have to say though, that your husband sounds like an uncaring asshole. No disrespect intended but he doesn't seem worth your time. Anyway, it might do you some good to talk to a therapist so that you can at least get all of this off of your chest. Before that though, you should talk to your husband first and let him know exactly how he makes you feel. Things will get better in time. Good luck and I mean that from the bottom of my heart!

Answer 4

I know how you feel. Don't be discouraged.

These kinds of feelings are normal, probably especially because you're dependent on others for your transportation (and because it's getting colder and darker outside). Is it possible at this point to learn how to drive, or do you have a condition that prevents you from driving? Even as an adult, if you're physically able to do it, it's never too late to learn how to drive... it may make you feel better and more independent.

Tell these things to your husband. If he really thinks you're laying a guilt trip on him, he's not a very kind husband. I would hope that he cares enough about your happiness and well-being to talk you through your difficulties and unhappiness.

Also, you may be depressed... it's difficult to see depression for what it really is while you're in the midst of it, because it feels so visceral and real. And you may have real and compelling reasons to be unhappy, but depression is a disease. You might consider talking to your doctor about it.

God is there. He is always there. One of the wonderful things about prayer is that you can tell Him ANYTHING, anything, and He will listen. There is nothing you can do that can't be forgiven, and no admission so humiliating or personal that you can't give it to God in prayer. Sometimes just saying the words: "I'm lonely. I'm unhappy. I'm unfulfilled" -- is enough to be a relief. Prayers don't have to follow a formula. Pray for wisdom and truth, and for God to reveal Himself to you-- I know he will.

Answer 5

You should take driving lessons and get your license. Your husband should be willing to come and get you until you learn how to drive. Your not a kid and their really isn't any reason that other people should be giving you a ride. As a grown up, it is your responsibility to care for yourself. Now, with that out of the way, I do feel like you should probably talk to a therapist. You will be able to see things in a different light once you get out of your depression mode. It may seem like people don't care, but it might be because they think the only thing your wanting from them is a ride, and not to actually be friends. Keep your head up high and try to find at least one positive thing about each day.

Answer 6

Wow honey. That's a lot to deal with. Here's my take on things:
1. On the friends- I don't think that we will ever truly know who are our friends, and who aren't. Maybe our true friends are the people who unconditionally love us, no matter what. People who would do anything for you when you're at your lowest point, and they show their true colors. Surround yourself with people who are positive, and have the same goals as you do. There are plenty of support groups out there, and I'm sure that you could fit into one of them! :)

2. On the husband- ditch him. Obviously, he's not upholding the "Love, honor, and cherish" part of your wedding vows. Plus, anyone who makes you feel guilty about not knowing how to handle a situation is never looking out for your best interests. You've come to him in a time of need, and he's blowing you off like you're some begger on the street. You don't deserve to be an 'inconvience' to anyone, especially your "partner".

3. On God- He never gives up. He has a plan for everything, and if He hasn't revealed that to you, it's not the right time for you to know. I understand that the waiting for things to get better isn't easy, but you can't give up on God. If anything, that's the last thing you need to do. Start thanking God for the things you DO have, such as life, an opportunity to make your own decisions, and the internet. :) If you look at what you have, and are working on what you want, you'll have a much better outlook.

4. On the crying- Crying leads to puffy eyes and headaches. From the sound of it, you don't need either at this point. :)

If you would like to elaborate further on things, you can email me. Someone cares. Always know that.

Answer 7

Now, now, do relax, ma'am.

If it'll help, I'd be glad to be your pen pal.

It's a pity that those at your work place and your husband seem so callous.

But then, not all the world is like that, isn't it?

May I say that it would be very good for you to take up the challenge and learn driving?

It's, honestly, not too tough. A lot of women drive all by themselves and they're pretty good drivers!?

Oh, and by the way, God loves you, ma'am. It's just that you don't see his hand in what's happening around you.

Let me tell you this little story a friend of mine had once told me.

There was this devout man who was caught in a flash flood and climbed up a tree and began praying to God to rescue him.

A motor boat soon came by and the rescuers asked him to jump into the boat with the others that they'd saved so that they could take him to safety and he refused, saying he was waiting for God to rescue him. After trying to convince him, they went away.

Then a helicopter flew in and they asked him to grab the ladder and climb in and he refused, because he was still waiting for God to rescue him.

And then the waters rose and swept him away and he died.

When he got his turn to come before God, he complained bitterly about how God had let him down and He replied "What could I do, my son? You refused the boat I sent you and even the helicopter!?"

Please do realize that "God helps those that help themselves".

All the best.

Answer 8

If your husband tells you your a burden then maybe it's time for a major change. You need to find out if it's him or you. If its you then its time to act happy until you are happy.
I don't do the pity party. I know that no one wants to be around me when I'm down. So like today I was way too tired to go anywhere, and I'm scared to drive, but I went to a friends house for a meeting anyway. Not only did I go but I told jokes and was the life of the party. Try it. I know it sounds like tough love and it is.

Answer 9

I totally agree with Lanani, God is there with you in all things, go to your Priest or Rabbi and talk as scary as it might sound to you you need someone to talk to for feedback and fellowship..I believe anyone here will talk to you, pick and email who you want or all...and by the way I was in my late 40's when I learned to drive, I cried and shook before every lesson (I paid for them) but I did it and believe me if I can do it so can you! It only took 4, 1 hour lessons and I passed the test on the first try...Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 10

Unfortunately life was not meant to be easy, but you can make it better, you just have to want to.
There is no need to give up, dont, you deserve more than that.
Your husband sounds a wee bit selfish and needs to look past himself. I am sure you will find you feet when he is gone, it's amazing what we can do when we have to.
You have the strength within you, you just need to bring it to the fore. Know you can do anything it is within your capabilities to do so. Look at yourself in the mirror and say I am WOMAN, I can do, I am me and I am strong.
I wish nothing but the best for you. Good Luck.. and know you can do anything you desire.