i dont want a boyfriend or i think i dont need one?or i am insecure which is which?

Question

im 19 , and i still have no boyfriend, im not bad looking in fact i get voted most of the time as one of the prettiest in school, but i cannot connect with men, shy in a way that i reply when they text me but i dont talk to them personally, and i really hate it when men just see me for the outside, usually i get pissed when men tell me im beautiful but they dont appreciate the fact that i write poetry and that i am the editor in chief of our paper, sometimes i feel i am too intelligent for men, and that most men are shallow, i have seen so many heartbreaking moments, and usually i dont see happy couples, like when my friends have boyfriends or when my sister has a boyfriend she still does not seem happy, they dont seem to be inspired, i was kind of hoping that women would be happy and inspired when they have boyfriends, but all i hear about is cheating or boring men,,,
is it ok if i will not entertain any suitors. i really like someone right now but i have no plans to pursue him

Answer 1

How do you know all these guys aren't interested in finding out more about you? You don't know unless you give them a chance.
It's not fair that you already decided they are all shallow. Some of them aren't. Some are, but not all.

Could be that you are afraid of getting hurt or of intimacy.
Gamble, take a chance. Otherwise, you'll just be single forever.
Do you truly want that?

Answer 2

You have the security of knowing yourself. Most people who have rotten relationships aren't so far in life. Good for you. Unfortunately, its not a complete safeguard. Relationships with a significant other always are an investment and nothing is perfect, so until you want to invest some time and to expereince heartbreak (inevitable, even in the best of relationships), then just continue to spend time developing yourself. It's time well spent and I don't think you will regret it and there are plenty of ways to connect with men that don't involve steamy affairs. And you are right about the shallowwness. Men mature so slowly, so it is good if you can bypass that stage in the male life cycle, all the better.

Answer 3

if you are truly happy being single, then you are lucky. most single people crave for a relationship.

but this could also be a coverup. could be you really do want a relationship but you've convinced yourself you don't need one. that sorta sums up how i am these days.

but you are right about the fact that so many people get into relationships and end up unhappy. so many people rush into relationships with the wrong person and/or for the wrong reasons.. they do so without really thinking.

it's good if you know yourself well and you know what you like and don't like in people.

not all guys are shallow and judge women on looks. but the ones who don't may be tougher to find.

i never had anything that even came close to a relationship until i was 24. i often think i "missed out" on the important experiences of teen dating.. and yes, although i did miss out on it, and although i can't relate to the 99% of the world who did experience it, most people tell me that i didn't miss anything important.

so don't worry about not feeling the need to have a relationship. you never know what life will bring, but perhaps the day will coe when a guy will enter yourlife and you may have no intension of developing a relationship, but it just might happen out of the blue..

anyway, good luck to you!

Answer 4

It definatly could be either, I can't say cuz I don't know you and I don't judge. But... thats fine if you don't want a boyfriend or feel like you don't need one. You probably have a lot goin for you and thats probably why you feel as though you don't need a boyfriend. Thats how I am, its good to have fun, but a serious boyfriend is the last thing I want or need right now! Good Luck!

Answer 5

sure it's okay! If you don't want a boyfriend, you don't want a boyfriend. there's nothing else to it LOL I'm 19 as well, and I used to want a boyfriend, but I realized that I felt insecure without one, and since then, I'm like yanno WHAT?! I don't need a man to make me feel good! I'm also very shy around men. So don't worry about not wanting/not caring enough to want a boyfriend. You're not alone ^_^

Answer 6

the trick is to find a good guy someone who compliments you, someone compatible. If you think you're too smart for a man then the next thing to do would be to find one just as smart as you or smarter, maybe you just need a challenge.

Answer 7

if you could just be yourself and connect with people who like the same things you like like your poetry.

I do believe you have cancled yourself or the guy out before you have a chance to talk to them because you pre-judge the situation before it happens. be more open minded and get to know them. or you just may miss mr. perfect

Answer 8

I have a girlfriend, I'm inspired, and I'm not shallow. It's an online relationship. We've almost been together for three months, and I got to talk to her on the phone yesterday!

Answer 9

you know not to discourage u but sometimes it is great to by urselve it is less headache but everybody is different so i will just let u makeur own decision.