the man is a good friend of my my best friends father. I have known my best friend for 13 years. the guy is a good guy and I have known him for about 2 years now.. I know and am friends with his two brothers also. there is a little flirting between us, there could be more it seems. his mother and brothers love me and my friends say i should go and try, I am only 21 but I am told by co-workers, professors and friends that I am very mature for my age. it's all very scary on its own but having friends and family reactions to worry about worries me. I know that if there is love thats all that matters and those who have herd the situations between he and I agree that we'd be a good match and they'd be there no matter what. I am just afraid to take that step to see if the match exists.
2006-11-12 15:41:47 · 15 answers · asked by mk2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've always dated much younger women and the best way to handle it is in casual conversation. Make sure you are alone with one of your parents and simply say, during conversation "I'm dating a guy that is 41." When he/she counters with a question just say "I know what I'm doing and I know what you think, but you needn't worry." When you handle things in this manner then it is known you're not wishy washy about it and that is what they'd be worried about most. When you are mature in this matter hitting it head on then they say to themselves when alone that you'll work it out and learn from it. Either it will work, or it won't, plain and simple. good luck, and email me if you have any other questions.
2006-11-12 15:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might not be the answer you want to hear, but let me preface it by saying that I was once attracted to a much older guy. I was pretty young at the time and I thought that I was pretty mature too. It's not that age is so all important, but there will be some major difference that are unconditonally present as a result. You really should take this into consideration. Stop and reflect about it. Why is he attracted to someone so much younger than himself? Don't you think this might be strange? What would he want from a relationship with you and what are his motives? It's easy to see love, if that's what you want to see. I don't know the guy, so I can't judge him, but I know the story; I can advise you to tread carefully.
2006-11-12 15:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by celtwlite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do this only against all sane advice not to do it.
One, why would a 40 yr old want to date a daughter age girl.
Well, it's not because you are his match maturity wise.
I can understand a girl liking a guy that has maturity
versus the young boys of 20, who are silly in ways.
At 40 he probably owns a home, has new cars, etc.
If he doesn't by now, then something is wrong.
Does he have an ex-wife and kids to support?
Well, his children could be grown, now.
In any case, yoiu are marrying them all.
It's your life, you live it with the decisions you make.
2006-11-12 15:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by dj_of_raleigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very young, not lived a lot of life, no matter how mature others say you are. Young women are very appealing to much older men, a big ego boost to them. Try going to a movie and or dinner. See how it goes. you may just have, and keep a good friend. That may be better than a short term fling to feed his ego. On the other hand such relationships sometimes work. But is it worth the time and effort? He has gone through the "fun" of youth,lived and experienced much more of life than you, and is, or should be more settled. may be a little too slow of life for you in a short time of being with him.
2006-11-12 15:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by nanny4hap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience. I dated a man that was 15 years older than me starting when I was 21. It was wonderful for the first couple of years. The family didn't take issue with the age difference so that made a huge help in feeling comfortable in the relationship. Fast forward 7 years. What we wanted out of life as we grew older changed drastically. I didn't want to be sedintary, I was still interested in going out with the girls and being a little on the wild side once in awhile. (not everyweekend mind you - just once in a while). He's worrying about his retirement and I'm thinking babies. Babies are the furthest thing from his mind - he has an 18 year old daughter. I'm looking at buying a house, he's just content to live in a rental. I want to finance a new car, he just wants to fix the old one. I want to move up the corporate ladder, he wants me to spend less time at work....we just grew apart. Thankfully we didn't argue about the problems that were at hand for us, we took them in stride - but eventually I just didn't feel that my needs were valued as much as I felt they should be, and he was beyond the point in his life where i was just starting to go. And that is not all that uncommon for couples with such a large gap in age. I am not saying to not do it, but what I am saying is you seriuosly need to take into consideration the person that you think you might become in 10 years or the things that you want to accomplish in life, and think about whether he is going to be past those stages in his life and not want to have to go through them again. You do what is best for you - the rest will fall into place.
2006-11-12 15:51:53 · answer #5 · answered by Simplekindoflife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey ,, i have said for years that younger women are missing out on being treated like they should be if they would quit looking at the movie stars and look at the older men here in America and elsewhere....
My fiance is 22 and i am 52 and we love each other very much,,, it can work,, only if you want it to,, dont worry about what people say,, it is none of their business....
good luck
2006-11-12 15:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to merry a man who is 11 years older then me. I think he is very mature my family was very excepting and I'm happy. I don't think love has an age. Who putt rules on love anyway? I think if you let your family meet him and see what a good man he is then maybe they will see your side of this. If they don't, ask them why, if they don't have a better reason then age, then sweety follow your heart and brains.
2006-11-12 15:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, he's 41 and you're 21. "...if there is love that's all that matters" doesn't exactly apply here.
There are number of other factors to consider, and that's why everyone is concerned about this.
I suggest pre-marital counseling. A competent counselor can help you and your "boy"friend explore all the advantages and pitfalls of such a relationship. If, after fulling exploring all of those things, you still feel it can work, go for it.
2006-11-12 15:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why does a 40 yr old man want to be with a 21 yr old girl???? For her maturity, her world experience, her parenting skills, her domestic skills, her stimulating conversation? Don't be silly. Use your maturity and find someone you will have more in common with.
2006-11-12 15:47:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sparky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the field of Love age dose not mater
2006-11-12 15:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋