She is a lovely woman and I have tried to help, cheer her up and suggested therapy but she just shrugs it off. She is getting worse every day. I know it's hard on her but she refuses help. She is considering having another child but I think that in her state that would be a horrible thing for the little baby and only make her worse. I'm trying my best to be there for her but it is hard on me too. She clings to me, visits every single day even when I ask for a break. She often gives her husband the cold shoulder in preferance of me. I can't let her wallow in self pity but I don't know what to do.
2006-11-12 15:04:07 · 7 answers · asked by Elisha 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have spoken with her husband and he agrees that she needs more help but like me he is not sure what to do. If he suggests something she takes offence. He has dumped it in my lap saying she listens to me more. I have told her it's hard on me and unfair on her family.
2006-11-12 15:16:10 · update #1
I would suggest speaking with her husband, without her present. Surely he must realize that things with his wife are spiraling downward, and it's likely he is at his wit's end, as well. Try to brainstorm with him as to how a viable "intervention" can be arranged, meaning, perhaps a small group of close friends and family members can assemble and attempt to convince this dear woman that all have serious concerns for her health, and that her issues are ones that require professional assistance to resolve.
If this friend is clinically depressed, or even "just" situationally depressed, she can receive treatment and/or therapy, and, with time, effort, and support, hopefully return to living life again. She is lucky to have you as a friend - but you cannot, and should not, attempt to handle this alone. Best of luck to all concerned. This is not an easy fix.
2006-11-12 15:11:41 · answer #1 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If a person isn't to the point of being mentally ill, getting them involved in something like a charitable activity that they can gain some personal satisfaction and self esteem by helping others is a real good way to boost them. Sometimes it shows them a whole new side of the world and doesn't make everything about them.
If she is beyond the point to where she needs help then that can be very difficult because I am sure it would be traumatic to go somewhere that they can officially diagnose you as being "broken". That can be an awful thing I am sure.
2006-11-12 23:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by M K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for the most part, you cant really get help unless you yourself want it. All a psychiatrist will do is help your friend to guide her in the right direction in order to heal herself. Now obviously a person can take drugs in order to suppress her symptoms of depression and such, but its not going to CURE anything.
I have no idea what is going on in her head, and one of the best ways to start the healing process is with recognition. Which means that she would have to become 'self-aware', so to speak, and get more in touch with her mind and spirit. When she actually recognizes the problem better, obviously she may have a much better understanding of how to combat the problem or problems.
Most of the time you can only heal yourself fully through some sort of relationship. Whether it is with a teacher, a shrink, or through a miracle thing with GOD. Communication is her best weapon and she needs to talk, on a deeper and more involved level, with her husband I would say. Sounds like she isnt satisfied with her husband in whichever way it may be, and obviously they need to work something out.
2006-11-12 23:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by Sir 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried giving her a "tough love" type of talk? How about an "intervention" with her husband?
Does her husband see that she's having problems? What does he think of the idea of having another child?
If you can't get through to her, you may just have to make yourself not available at all by not being home or not allowing her in your home. It may be the best thing for her.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 23:07:31 · answer #4 · answered by TechnoMom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your last attempt of cheering her up is yet again thwarted by her, just tell her that she's bringing you down. Her depressive attitude is sucking the life out of you that you need to give your family. Throw your arms up with frustration...she's a big girl, she's gonna have to see that other people have feelings too...not just her. By your unconditional shoulder, you have given her a crutch to continue her abusive behaviour! Yes, abusive. Her husband has probably put a stop to it, and that's why she prefers your soaking wet shoulder to his dry attitude towards her whining and complaining.
2006-11-12 23:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be blunt with her .
Tell her that you think she has symptoms about depression and that you are concerned about her and let her know she's a bore and that she is suffocating you.
If she is truly your friend you can be blunt with her.
Of course, in your bluntness consider if she is suicidal or not.
She may be bad for your mental health & this may sound mean but as much as you want to help your friend, your mental health comes first . You come first.
2006-11-12 23:16:36 · answer #6 · answered by K. Y. N 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tough love she really needs professional help try beyond blue if you live in aust
2006-11-12 23:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by bundilou 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋