Should I be jealous if my gf goes to movies with male friend?

Question

long distance relationship. plan to move in together after school.

Answer 1

No, I wouldn't be jealous or worry at all, unless there are other indications that she may be cheating or something - I have a lot of male friends as well as female, and if I were to get into another relationship I don't see any reason why I should suddenly cut off all my male friendships, just because they're male! Friends of any gender are important, and I'd go to the movies with my girl-friends so why not my guy-friends? Jealousy can cause unnecessary tension in a relationship if there's no good basis for it, as trust between you and your partner are so important - so unless you find good reason to really believe something may be going on, I wouldn't worry,

Answer 2

I'm assuming you mean that you two are in a long distance relationship and she is going to the movies with a single guy? If that is the case, yes, I would be jealous. If it is a group that's different but unless it is some long time friend that you have no fears about, I wouldn't like that.

Answer 3

well, no but the bottom line with M/F friends is that almost always, one wants the other. M/F don't typically hang out as friends. There's just nothing for the other to gain. In other words, I wouldn't enjoy shopping with a guy all day cause i know a guy would rather be playing golf or football or whatever. When a guy hangs out with a girl, it's usually cause there's some sort of attraction. I am NOT saying your GF will cheat but the possibility for her to feel vulnerable because she needs attention and affection that you can't give her due to the LD thing,,, that can pose a problem.

My suggestion is the following. Instead of wondering how you should feel (which is very normal) simply take action and say "Listen, I understand that you have guy friends and I appreciate that you can hang out with friends while we're apart. But we both know that things can get out of control sometimes and I just want you to know that I am not okay with anything other than a strictly plutonic friendship between you and the guy friends. I totally trust you and I just wanted to reiterate how I feel about that, just as I'm sure you'd feel the same". this way, you've said your peace, you said nothing about not hanging out with guys BUT you set boundaries. Boundaries are KEY to every single relationship and it's the ONE thing relationships lack the most because people can not communicate their feelings effectively. Now, if she slips up, she knows the consequences both before and after. Hopefully, she will remain cool and in control should a situation present itself that isn't ideal.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are already jealous, it's what you do with your feelings that matter. Jealousy is a natural feeling that sometimes acts as a warning for you to do something about your relationship. On the other hand since you can't really do anything about it anyway try to figure out why your gf would feel the need to go out to a movie with a male all alone...Hell I'm jealous. I think you could tell her that you do like the idea of her going out on a "date" with another guy but you know she respects you enough not to hurt your feelings by doing something that would hurt your relationship. Try that, it will let her know that you don't like it but that you are cool enough to be able to deal with it and still take care of her. Just let her know that no one could love her more than you.

Answer 5

YES!! You should be jealous!

Jealousy is good. In evolutionary terms it helped a mate appreciate what they had and work or fight to keep it.

You have to be sensitive to her though, if it's a long distance relationship, because there's a larger scope for abused trust than normal, but don't overload on her with questions because that won't get you anywhere positively and it's a way to drive her off if you're over sensitive and undermining her faith in your trust.

i'd ask probing questions about the guy and feel out how she answers. if you keep him as the subject with innocent (but not really forward) questions about him, their relationship, his family, job whatever ,... you can feel out how she feels abou thim, how defensive or deflective she is and maybe if you're a really keen observer you can identify and/or suspect why she feels what she feels about what she feels and her behaviour!

practice makes you better at it. seeing guilty and innocent parties makes you good. i've had bad luck in this sector of relationship-having, it's been painful but i'm a good spotter now, of cheaters, for all the good that it's done me! (none so far, i've developed some convoluted complex that attracts me to cheating types I think! but that's another story!)

i would take my time and weigh things up slowly and as objective as possible.

yes, i think you should be jealous and you should use that jealousy to good effect. don't use it to destroy the relationship. dignity is important and so is faith.

Answer 6

What would SHE think if YOU were going to the movies with a female friend? She'd know darned well what was happening and so should you!

I wouldn't be jealous, however. Just know she's the one losing out and move on with your life.

Answer 7

I always tried to not be jealous, since that was the "mature" thing. Long story short, she was cheating. I'm not saying every woman with guys freinds cheats, but you need to be careful.. I concur with the above post: if you know they're gay (not bi) then that's cool.

Answer 8

No i don't think you should be jealous because he is probably her friend!!! Little things like this one ruin your relationship!! What's the point? Give more confident for yourself and this relationship!!

Answer 9

No, you shouldn't be jealous. Your girlfriend likes to hang out with all of her friends, even the guys. Just let her have her fun, and hang out with your friends while she's away.

Answer 10

No as long as she's not jealous of u going to the movies with your female friend, get my drift!