I know my girlfriend have had sex before me. She makes all this remarks." Im going to tie you up", " I'm going to use this toy", " Im going to use this costume"....etc. She makes all this remarks that any regular guy would go crazy. But everytime she says that; I think that she used it with someone else and I start to get mad. I get upset that she trying to use this stuff that she already used with someone else. If Im with her, that means that Im forgiving what happen in the past, but this is stupid. My question is...She's trying to use this stuff, should I ask her if its new or used because I dont like second hands..... PLEASE HELP.
2006-11-12 14:27:44 · 27 answers · asked by From a friend. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i dont know. if you feel this insecure about her or what she is doing, sit down and talk to her about some of the things that concern you. talk to her and open up. if she doesnt want to talk then you should do what you have to do. let her go.
2006-11-12 15:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, get over it. Get over it big time. What's happening here is that you're feeling threatened and insecure. You're afraid that you won't measure up to her past loves. That is EXACTLY what's going on. What you should be doing is enjoying the fact that she wants to open up this much for you.
Say ONE word of what you mentioned in your question such as "second hand" and watch your girlfriend walk RIGHT OUT THE DOOR and never look back. (Forgive me, i am not trying to be mean,,, I'm like Dr. Phil, i tell it like it is so you can get results).
Put your fears aside and understand that everyone has a past and it's NOT about measuring up. It's about what you two create together, just you and her. stop obsessing on other men from her past. Be secure with who you are and that she likes you for who you are.
2006-11-12 14:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should'nt date if your going to get upset cause of this,
my girlfriend was like that when we first started to date and sleep together i was more conservative lets say as she was pretty close a call girl but i thought why not ok lets try some new things and its 6 years later and we have a child and its still going great.
i say give it a try and be honest if she does something you dont like its the only way things would work out
good luck
2006-11-12 14:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by halicon2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think that she has tried these things before. i think she has found a guy that she can be completely open with sexually and now she wants to do those things. that guy would be you. so take it as a compliment and do the things that she wants to try. i know because i am doing the same thing with my guy too. i have found someone i can be completely open with and i am doing everything that i have ever wanted to do (and that is a lot of stuff). so don't get mad, get glad, and sit back and enjoy the ride, literally!
2006-11-12 14:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by Kokoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your feelings. Maybe just talk to her and instead of asking for a confessional of her "bag of tricks" tell her that you would like her to ask you....would you like this or this or that.....because that way it seems more like a new idea than something she just does with everyone. Tell her about how you feel, and how the way she says things make you feel bad, not special. You will have to be VERY careful about how you phrase this -- you don't want to say it in a way that comes across accusing....or makes her feel like she is a little too experienced (or slutty).
2006-11-12 14:40:58 · answer #5 · answered by Beth M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you have doubts about your gf,but sometimes you cant just ask that thing to her face you might get her upset or either angry,i think she's a liberated type,you just have to take it slow in indulging her to tell something that is too complicated,listen to her and if you still feel being used then tell her, but if you love her try to understand what she does maybe she was just like that,you can't change a person by force.be patient good luck
2006-11-12 17:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by rosette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you guys go to the sex store together and pick out some stuff? This way you know it has never been used.
2006-11-12 14:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's probable that she bought the toys for you. however, it's more likely that she already had them. if the thought of her using old toys makes you feel insecure or unclean, maybe you could go to a store and buy some new ones. bring them home as a surprise for her and tell her you prefer 'these'.
but if you keep torturing yourself about her past, it will lead to nothing good.
2006-11-12 14:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by pot paw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my boy thinks the same of me because i been with ppl an he hasnt an alot of the stuff i do with him he gets like that but i actually didnt do it with other ppl i did little things but the costumes snd toys dont stress she just wants to impress an do these things with someone she feels comfortable with chill out or youll lose her
2006-11-12 14:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her she should chill out. apparently the other guys weren't good enough to turn her on all by themselves and needed props. you seem to be a virgin so assume you can satisfy her until you're proven wrong. then, if you MUST play the games, then go shopping for 'fun stuff' together. then it's both of yours, and not hers and someone elses.
2006-11-12 14:35:18 · answer #10 · answered by beneaththemangotree12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds pretty cool. What's her name maybe she tied me up once?
No seriously, you got issues. It's natural to be a little jealous but you are obsessing. You want your woman to be virginal, if not a virgin, and today that's rare. You need to let it go. Hell, ask her for details, you might learn something. She sounds like she's hinting around that your sex life is boring.
You sound possesive and too jealous. You need counseling.
2006-11-12 14:33:58 · answer #11 · answered by Chance20_m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋