So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and a half now. We kinda have a long distance relationship, i am a sophomore in college and she is a freshman at a college about an hour away.
This weekend was her birthday, i didnt get to see her, we were both busy. Also, this weekend i deceided i want to be single. I have spent a year and a quarter of college with her and i want to enjoy the single college life now.
The next time i see her, we are celebrating her birthday, with presants and dinner and such, so i feel bad about breaking up with her then, but i also feel bad leading her on. What should i do?
2006-11-12 14:16:40 · 26 answers · asked by John W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know, it's hard to have a long distance relationship. Don't ruin the celebration. Wait until your next get together, and say you think your studies and distance between you mean you need to take a break from being an official couple. It's not really anything against her, but you just can't break up at a birthday celebration, not cool. You are smart to be conscious of not leading her on. Remember that breaking up is about you, not the other person. Think long and hard about why you need more time to yourself, jot it all down and you'll be able to come up with a perfectly nice way to let her down easy. You never know where you'll be in future. You don't want to be mean.
2006-11-12 14:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by yogarani108 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make a special effort to see her BEFORE you plan on celebrating her birthday, perhaps? Because I've always found email/phone/txt message breakups to be heartless, cowardly, and annoying. But then again, that's if they're close by. You said long distance, even though it's only an hour, so maybe you should just call her up with a prepared 'speech'. Calling is much better than an email. Don't lead her on. Make sure you say that you didn't want to because that wouldn't be right, just so she knows that you haven't been.
2006-11-12 14:27:14 · answer #2 · answered by Tam T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she ever meant anything to you over the last 1 1/2years you dated, don't be a jerk and dump her on her birthday. Buy her an appropriate gift and then the next weekend you get to see her you could tell her that you want time apart, to date other people or to just be single for a while. Be nice and gentle when you break the news, especially if this is something that is going to come as a total shock to her.
2006-11-12 14:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by ne_patriots2005 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get her a sweet card for her BD but put a letter in it explaining that you think you all should take a break and see what happens. If you two were meant to be together it will happen later. You don't want to stay where your not happy and regret it when your older. She might get upset but she will later see that you were right & appreciate your honesty. In the letter you need to tell her exactly what you said in your question about not wanting to lead her by meeting with her and giving her false hope but you also don't want to hurt her on her BD celebration. Good Luck!
2006-11-12 14:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by Emmi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a gift and treat her to dinner on her birthday and be NICE. Don't even HINT of a breakup. She's been in your life for over a year so you can wait for a couple of weeks to share your feelings. If she brings up Thanksgiving or Christmas, be a bit vague but please don't give her the impression that you're not going to be around.
2006-11-12 14:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do, keep in mind that if you break up with her on the weekend of her birthday, she will remember that birthday as a crappy birthday for a long time. don't do it on the same weekend. either do it now or hold off so that she can at least enjoy the party.
2006-11-12 14:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by pot paw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears that your relationship is doomed from the start. I would wait to break up with her after her birthday--and that would be the next time you both meet. Why would you choose a birthday setting to break up? You can always break up with her any other day.
2006-11-12 14:29:23 · answer #7 · answered by MaTriX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first ask yourself why it is that you are breaking up with her. make sure its something you really want to do and that you will not regret later on. Maybe you could still celebrate her birthday with her. do everything that you would have normally done, dont make her feel like crao and just tell her why you want to break up with her. I am a girl and believe me, we like honesty more than anything else but we also dont like stuff to be too real. If you really do just want to be single maybe you could tell her that you want to concentrate more on school. that you have noticed that your grades are slipping and that you need to devote more time to school and your classwork. offer to remain friends. One word of caution tho...do not tell her about the other women in your life, if there will be any. it may get tempting and she may tell you about the guys in her life...but know that if you do...it will hurt her. and im sure you dont want to do that.
2006-11-12 14:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by ladylibra 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
counting on your courting along with her for the previous 9 months, i could shrink any occasion of her birthday to a "accepted" ( no longer delicate ) birthday card. Doing too lots for her birthday so quickly after a breakup, could chase her away for solid! You did no longer supply your a while, so that's confusing to grant solid suggestion. maximum youthful human beings have not got any theory what "love" incredibly is! this is in many cases purely some "raging hormones" on the two factors! severe relationships during severe college years in simple terms approximately continually end without notice while human beings graduate from severe college and circulate away to varsity, in many cases in opposite instructions. 18 and 19 year olds won't be mature sufficient for any "long distance" courting at distinctive faculties. in many cases a protracted distance courting is unfavourable to the delight in the two persons during their college years. ( Plus you purely by no capability be conscious of whom you will meet on a school campus! ). supply it a relax. She could make sure that she made a mistake and could desire to connect up lower back with you.
2016-12-17 09:04:15 · answer #9 · answered by zufelt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh , it would definenlty bum her birthday out, that wouldn't be very comsiderate, do it in the most considerate way bc either way your about to really hurt her, but at least wait for after her birthday to have a talk.....then maybe after a talk and some air cleared, u can make a informative desicion.
2006-11-12 14:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by harmonieclark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋