We are planning our wedding -- first for both of us -- and we are both in our mid 30's. at this stage in our lives, I do not want a maid-of-honor or best man. I would just like it to be the two of us. Most of our friends are just as busy with their lives as we are and I would rather have not have a MOH than have someone just to have someone.
Any advise out there? Pros and cons to having or not having?
2006-11-12 14:06:49 · 19 answers · asked by Just Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
well you need a witness
2006-11-12 14:08:53 · answer #1 · answered by â?¥ Pawya! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO - you dont have to have attendants as such - but you will need to have witnesses (probably 2) - this is a legal requirement
check with your celebrant on that matter - probably better to ask someone close to you rather than just pick a stranger off the street. some years back I was the witness for a good male friend of mine- they didn't tell anyone they were getting married - just had 6 people - the couple;2 witnesses; celebrant & brides son from a previous relationship- met her mother for lunch & his parents for dinner that night
you can ask those to step forward at the appropriate time if you are having a number of guests to celebrate with you.
My best g/f did just that.
she & her man walked down the aisle together - both with BIG smiles on their faces - had the ceremony & then witnesses came forward.
2006-11-12 14:34:46 · answer #2 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to have any attendants. Even if your fiance would want a best man, you still would not have to have any.
If your county requires witnesses, you can choose a couple friends to sign the license after the ceremony.
Talk all this over with your Officiant. It should be fine.
This one wedding was held at the same venue as the reception. All the guests were sitting at those round tables as the bride walked down the aisle. It was fabulously decorated. It was just the bride & groom, and it was elegant.
2006-11-12 16:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey...it's your wedding! If you do not want attendants, don't have attendants, there is no law saying you must, only tradition. That being said, I assume you will be inviting at least immediate family if not close friends also, so there are your witnesses if going in front of a JP. If you are having an actual ceremony, have fun, do what the both of you want, and don't let others try to persuade you. Besides, your friends will thank you for not making them wear a hideous gown!
2006-11-12 16:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by frazzled over halloween 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and if you're not hung up on tradition then have the kind of wedding you want. Create a wedding that is meaningful and pleases you. I notice you say "I do not want a maid of honor or best man." What about your spouse? How does he feel? Now, if your husband wants a best man then you shouldn't dictate your wishes since it's his wedding too. You should be able to NOT have a maid of honor if you don't want one and he should be able to make his choice as well.
2006-11-12 14:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by nquizzitiv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want them you do not to have them. Just the two of you can walk down the isle. Or just you walk down the isle. There is no law saying you can not do it this way. The only draw back I can think of is the maid of honor usually holds your flowers while you say your vows and if your dress has a long train they lay it out for you before they go before you. My soon-to-be-sister-in-law said her sister's tiara came loose right before she was to walk down the isle and as the maid of honor had to really hurry and fix it while not missing a beat. Hope this helps you some. This is your day and should be your way. Congrats.
2006-11-12 14:16:07 · answer #6 · answered by CGS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't have to have attendants. You do have to have a witness but since you are planning a wedding I assume you'll have guests.
Pros
Less people to bother
Less expenditure since there's no risk of having to help out with dresses and tuxes and you don't have to have extra bouquets and bouteniers.
Cons
No one to help you on the day of the wedding
No one to chat with when you start to get nervous
(Mom's and sisters are a different story - family is always different)
No one to hold the rings at the ceremony or hide away tissue for you
No one to tell the florist, caterer, etc where to go - you'll have to do it while attempting to get ready
No one to remind you of things you may have forgotten. You can keep lists till kingdom come but you will inevitably forget something and a bridesmaid is great for that kind of stuff
No anticipation as your bridesmaid walks down the aisle before you(that's a wonderful feeling by the way - nervous excitement - those last few moments of anticipation welling up until you finally get to see your groom - its indescribable and one of my fave memories from my wedding - but I may just be weird)
You'll be greatful for a presence as will your groom. But you don't have to have one if you don't want. But believe me, your friends are happy for you and it won't be a bother or inconvenience for them. Especially if you aren't a bridezilla to them.
2006-11-12 15:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You generally need a witness or two to validate your marriage certificate, but they don't have to be attendants.
You could just ask a couple of good friends to sign for you- tell them that you think highly enough of them to ask the favor and that you like them enough to NOT ask them to shell out tons of dough for a tux/dress, parties, fancy shoes, and all the other rigamarole that accompanies being a MOH/BM.
2006-11-12 18:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by craftladyteresa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with it as all, as long as you both agree on what you want. Check into if you can use someone at the wedding as a witness. Also, if you are using floral bouquets you might need to select someone in the audience to hold your flowers.
2006-11-12 14:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will each need a witness, two total, for the ceremony and to sign the papers once everything is over. I'm sure once you ask a friend, they will be more than willing to put their plans on hold and celebrate with you and your fiance.
2006-11-13 06:56:57 · answer #10 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we eloped and it was the best thing ever.
only catch was we wanted people we knew to be witnesses. we didn't want strangers' signatures on our certificate so we brought along my mom and dad and my husbands brother. we went away for the weekend and didn't tell anyone else what we were doing! we saved sooo much money. i think people spend way too much money on weddings and not enough time on the marriage!
there were a few people who were angry with us for not inviting them but it was a day for us NOT them!!!
2006-11-12 14:17:38 · answer #11 · answered by Gingersnap 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋