waiting for intimacy/intercourse?

Question

i think that when people have sex without really getting to know eachother their relationship can and will, most of the time, be based on sex.

also think its hard to change from that status.

ive been dating this guy for about 6 weeks now and I wanted to hold off on sex. ive been sexually attracted to him since the 2nd week of knowing him.

we agreed to wait to see where our relationship could go. i dont want his interest in me to die because of sex too soon.

its been six weeks, i want to have sex. he wants to have sex. i just want to know if once i cross that line, will things change? im hoping to become his girlfriend. could this change his mind?

he says that kissing for him is an intimate act and he doesnt do it freely. lately hes been inching his kisses closer and closer to my mouth. im wondering if this a go ahead sign

Answer 1

Let me be blatantly honest with you. Sex is the dooms day of a young relationship. If you think you have a real future with him, wait at least 3 months. If he really likes you and is interested, he'll stick around. If he is just interested in the physical, he'll either find someone on the side until you give it up or he'll leave. You have to give him the opportunity to hang himself.

There are lots of guys that are interested in a serious connection and he may be one. Unfortunately, sex can alter a person's focus. It can turn well meaning guys into animals. I would use extreme discretion if I were you.

Answer 2

I say wait longer to have sex. You are not even his girlfriend yet and 6 weeks is not enough time to get to know someone. Your relationship with him will change when you have sex with him. Sex changes everything. You don't have to have sex to make things better and you can be intimate with each other by kissing and holding hands and hugging each other. The first time you are with him you want it to be right and know that this guy really loves you and you really love him if that's what you want.

Answer 3

I think you should wait and slowly build into intimacy. If you two arent comfortable kissing, sex is a huge jump. Start there, and move on to other forms of physical pleasure short of sex and see how your relationship evolves. Does he seem more eager to touch you the next time your together? Do you tend to think more about sex afterwards? Do you still have fun just being together without the need for physcial pleasure? After you feel comfortable answering these questions, then see how you think things will be if you went to the next step. But personally, i think waiting is the safest way to go.

Answer 4

I absolutely don't believe in sex before marriage for specific religious reasons.( I am a Christian and I believe that God saved sex only for marriage) You however appeared to have made your decision to have sex with him, because you said you want to have sex with him. It seems that you don't even have a control of your hormones, almost like you are desperate to have it. If you don't want sex, then don't have a relationship with anyone right now because you don't know how to handle yourself. Once you give in, you give in and there is no turning back. How many other guys will you then sleep with? Relationships are screwed up these days because people think they need to sleep with everyone they meet. Life isn't about sex, there is more to life than having sex. Get a hobby or some other interest. Every time you are with him you are going to increase your chances of giving in to temptation. You know how on Christmas when you are excited to open presents? Imagine you already know your present and then open it. It kind of loses that excitement. This is also true for sex. My husband was my first, but I wasn't his first and he felt so bad because he wished he could have shared that experience with me. People do wait to have sex, you were built with hormones and with self discipline. We are not animals we have control over ourselves.

Answer 5

You should wait till marriage for sex.
Besides, it's only been 6 weeks.

And it's totally fine to not kiss him so soon.
Do it when you're ready.
It's only a kiss.

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This is how I feel about the sex issue...

You should stay a virgin till you're married.
God intended it to be that way.
But many, MANY people abuse that.
And God looks down on those people.

You don't just give your virginity to just anybody.
It is the best present you can give your future husband.
It is you... it is all of you.

If you become pregnant, you can handle it better when you're married.
You'll have that person beside you who promised to always be by your side.
It won't be some random guy or some guy who you THOUGHT loved you.

Sex makes many things complicated in an unmarried relationship.
It takes two very mature people.
You do not want to get yourself lost in everything that comes with sex.
Most people nowadays tend to just BASE their relationship on sex.

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To shorten it down for you...

Don't have sex
Because it creates emotional attachments.
Because it creates high expectations for the future.
Because it hurts a hell of a lot more after the break-up.
Because there's a chance of getting an STD.
Because there's a chance of getting pregnant... NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO TRY TO PREVENT IT.

Just be safe and save the sex till marriage.

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I am a virgin myself. I have a boyfriend of 9 months that I am completely in love with. We talk about marriage and how I want to wait till our wedding day to have sex. He truly does love me... he respects me. That's when you KNOW you have a great guy. That's when you KNOW he's in love with you... when he has absolutely no problem in waiting. Actions speak louder than words...
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Answer 6

You've been dating 6 weeks and never kissed on the mouth? I gotta tell ya, that's pretty odd.

When to have sex is up to you...many relationships, that aren't going to last long, don't make it past the 6 wk mark...if you've gotten this far, it's probably safe to have sex without it negatively impacting you two continuing to get to know one another...provided you both make that effort and don't allow the relationship to turn to nothing but sex...

Answer 7

I personally think people have sex way too fast....like it's what you're supposed to do with just anybody.

I think being intimate is something you do with very very special people after knowing and being with them for a while.

I think "booty-calls" has taken something away from the "specialness' of it....so now it's just something you do with just about anybody.

Answer 8

ok thats not good your his second pick if he has a girlfriend your just his play thing i would tell him you just want to be friends because if you do have sex thats all he'll want you for he playing nicey nicey for now but when he gets in your pants thats where he'll stay and if it goes bad he gots his girlfriend so he's out of nothing i'd just be friends if i was you unless he welling to break his bond with his girl
if he doesn't want to thats your sign to just be a friend and who knows you can go from there if things ever go bad with his gf

Answer 9

How old are you ? Kissing isn't sex , it could lead there .
I'm having a hard time believing this story .
You can't be for real .

Answer 10

wow 6 weeks?? you have will-power :) I think if you two feel that its right- go for it! you both have waited a lot longer than most people i know.