And yet, when I meet a guy who is considerate and kind and funny and understands me and who I love talking to, I don't fancy him at all?? I don't understand why! Is it psychological, i.e. I am choosing not to fancy him because I am scared, or is it that I just haven't met a guy that combines the emotional/intellectual and physical attractiveness???
2006-11-12 13:40:46 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you just haven't met the right guy yet, try not to beat yourself up too much about any relationships that weren't so great - sounds a bit nerdy but you're building a database of cool stuff, nice stuff, things to avoid even though it might not feel like it at the time.
I dated some lovely guys who were a great catch but I just didn't fancy them & also some absolute arrogant scumbags who were w*nkers .... one day I met hubby & everything worked, he is nothing like my original idea of my perfect man & is by no means perfect but I'm happy I found the right guy & would never have known it if I didn't have some previous forms of reference !!!
Hang in there & never ever settle just because you want to be in a relationship.
2006-11-12 14:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by Mari C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been waiting for this question. Check it out, when you meet a guy who is totally bad for you. You already know how to handle him cause you have met many just like him so you got experience. Now, when you meet a nice guy who is considerate and the whole nine yards. You freak out and don't really know how to handle the situation. So he feels like you have no interest in him and you might even start treating him like one of the bad guyz. That is when us nice guyz fall in the same circle as the bad guyz. Woman have the same issues in some cases as us guyz do. So watch out who's toes you step on. Good luck.
2006-11-12 21:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to make a relationship.
Abusers are attracted to abusees and vice versa, for example.
Yes, it is psychological and the fact that you realise that means all is not lost!
The trick is to know who you are; who you really are. Then making the right choices comes easily.
I hope this helps.
If you want to find out more, read Harriet Lerner's book "The Dance of Intimacy". It's a book that changed my life.
2006-11-12 21:59:30 · answer #3 · answered by Up your Maslow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer is a lot more obvious than what you are suggesting.
If you hook up with a considerate, sensitive, funny, kind, understanding guy, then what on earth are you going to talk to your girlfriends about? Subconsciously, you will find someone who is none of the above, and will provide hours of material for chatting to your girlfriends about.
:-)
2006-11-12 23:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by Extemporaneous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is psychological. You programmed yourself to go for guys that are "bad" for you. Repetition. You created a comfort zone. E.g. You go to work or school using the same root everyday. You do not want to take another root, you may get lost or be late for work. The same with relationship. Going for other type of guys scares you subconsciously. good luck!
2006-11-12 21:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by rooilugo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are impossible.
Best bet is to marry for money and have affairs with the rotten ones.
This is what they normally do. Or else they get pregnant (several times) and run around with a mixed genetic football team.
2006-11-13 05:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by Perseus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is one of lifes eternal mysteries! Men who are confident are the ones who attract us women, but they all turn out to be the ones who are seriously bad for us. Those that like us are always the boy next door types...as in....friend material but not boyfriend material!
2006-11-12 22:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by Gemma C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its because the guy that is bad for you is a challenge! U want to make him want you, but in the end u get burned!
2006-11-12 21:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by lxl_emmalou88_lxl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to Earth. We have all done it. The best advise is "just say no". The best husbands are the nerdy guys that have no abs and have hair on their backs. I bought a razer and couldn't be happier.
2006-11-12 21:44:38 · answer #9 · answered by onemelbgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
eerrrr ...dont know too...coz i am attracted 2 a guy i never seen before in person and i know we cant be together and i cant explain why i feel this way.
2006-11-12 22:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋