what can i do with a mother that has terminal cancer & only a couple of months to live?? my whole family is-?

Question

Hi My mom has liver cancer that only give's her a couple of months to live! My family of 2 bro's &1 sister are completely went bonkers. My oldest bro is from AR and we are from WISC.
whitch makes it hard,it just seems that everyone is at each others throats. It's like the other day my bro from AR called my mom and was talking to her like always, she asked him what have you been doing? He replied i've been trying to get the undertakers ready for the funeral! What in the world was he thinking? he also told her that my other bro& sister was going to contact someone to sell the house! Has everyone gone bonkers? I also have to add that my mom is not right down in bed yet! Right now she can feed herself & etc...Her doctor had said that this was a very agressive cancer in her liver all's my bro& sister wants to do is fight. Yes we all had a very hard life growing up with my DAD being a child sexual molester. I'm trying to understand, mom& I are close we love Jesus very much to.

Answer 1

let me start off by saying i am so sorry about your mom. i just lost my uncle to lung cancer and my grandpa to cancer that started in the kidney and ended up all over his body. The best advice that i can give to you is to pray that they will come to their senses and grow up. Your mother is fighting for her life, but when all is said and done and your poor mother is gone they will be the ones that will have to live with the decisions and comments that they made while your mother was still alive. And they will then understand what an impact that their words had on your mother. But from what i read you love your mother very much and she loves you the same. Keep praying for recovery or for her not to suffer any longer than she has to. I watched my grandfather battle and suffer for 7 years with the last 3 in agony with pain. And to know that he knew how much each and everyone of us loved him, he went in peace. I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you

Answer 2

Your mother, has terminal caner and has a few mos. to live? You, also said that your brothers and sisters do not have any consideration concerning your Mom's sickness? You don't say how old you are or, how old your Mother is. But I am going to try and give you some advice for your sake. I know how it feels when you are going to loose a loved one especially your mother, because it does not matter what kind of a mother you had, she is the one that gave you life, not only to you but to your other sisters and brothers, and if she had faults the only one that is going to respond to would be the almighty up above. I am not saying she had faults I, am just saying that we should not judge anyone. Your mother should have you all, united and showing her love for one another and especially to her. Before making any arrangements with a funeral home, please ask her how she wants her wishes to be honored and then do it. Talk to your brother the oldest of all, have a talk with him and in good terms ask him to do your mother's wishes and above all else make her last days as comfortable as possible. May God light your way, and guide you in seeing that your Mom's final days be by showing her that you all love her. Peace be with you and your other siblings.

Answer 3

Well first of all you have my best wishes that things go well for you and your family. I am sorry to hear the problems you have to face. I have found that it is hard for people to accept such bad news. You feel that your bro is being rude and crude, however it may be only the way he is able to deal with it. As well as your sister, you may see it as them wanting to end it. They might be thinking that letting your mother know, that they are doing this will be a relief. It could be thier way of telling mom that they will take care of things for her. All you can do is be there and help as you can. It sounds like you are there with mom and should be there for her. do what you can as you can, find out how it made mom feel and inform your siblings of this. Just tell them as a gesture not as a critic. If they set-up somethings prior that is less to do when time comes and will have to be dealt with appropriately at that point in time. In the meantime do that which your heart tells you. They are dealing with things which will have to be addressed, let them and focus on helping mom prepare in the way she feels she has to. All you can do is be there best you can, don't add animosity to the pain full situation. God bless and assist you with this difficult time.

Answer 4

Terminal illness can kinda make a family go bonkers....everyone reacts differently....I would tell the insensitive bro to get lost if he cant be supportive...Sounds like your family has gone through a lot.....You and your mom should ask around for some kind of counseling and guidance,Maybe you could get in touch with your local hospice, or the Cancer Society. I hope your mom would take care of some of the issues if she is able before your bros & sis take over like she's gone already...GoOD Luck to you and your mom....Be Strong and soldier on.......

Answer 5

First of all start praying. Pray for your mother and for your brothers and sisters. Pray that Jesus will touch them and soften thier hearts and give them understanding.
Call your mom at least daily. Talk about anything and everything but her cancer. If you can, talk to your brothers and sisters and explain that she does not want to hear about funeral arrangements etc.If you can go and spend as much time with her and get out and do things together. Cherish the time you have left and don't allow yourself to be drawn into bickering and fights. Make your mother's last days here special and show her how loved she is.
I am so sorry for you and your family. I will pray for you all. God Bless.

Answer 6

That is so sad to hear about your Mother's terminal condition, I hope she finds some kind of peace during her remaining days.
As for your sibs, they perhaps are still in shock or are avoiding thinking about their Mother's fate. Maybe they are keeping themselves busy with your mother's future estate to avoid confronting the issue of their dying mother. They are perhaps saddened, scared and are unsure of what to say and say things without thinking.
Speak with them and tell them that unless your Mother ask specifically about certain things, they are not to bring anything about the funeral, estate. etc. Tell them that they owe their Mother a peaceful time in her remaining life and bringing up unnecessary and stupid issues is not helping. At this stage of her life she should have the love of her children around her and visiting her now ( in person) is more important than talking about the funeral, selling house etc., over the phone. Her remaining days should be filled with her children sharing the good memories, the laughs and feel the love of her family as it surround her.
If they still continue after confronting them, monitor the calls if possible and look after your Mother as best as you can, for as long as you can. She deserves the very best and hopefully they will understand this before it's too late. God Bless

Answer 7

There is fairly no option to know the way lengthy she is going to final. Just aid to make her secure. I went via this in ninety five whilst my seventy eight yo mom died of endometrial melanoma. Ask Hospice nurses approximately feeding her, like what could she tolerate pleasant. But, f she has no urge for food, she will have to no longer be pressured and even inspired to devour greater than she wishes to. It can be very difficult -- surely the toughest factor I have ever performed -- however taking care of her can also be one of the crucial beneficial matters you are going to ever do. Provide amusement that she could revel in. We even taped a reduce and paste snapshot my younger daughter had made for Mom at the wall on the foot of her Hospice mattress. Cool wash cloths at the brow -- she'll feel you're an angel! Patience. Time. ALSO, although, attempt to aid her discover closure with any disorders she has with household individuals or others. I needed to have my brother in prison in an additional state name her (she hadn't heard from him considering the fact that her prognosis) to mention he used to be sorry he might no longer be there however that he might be OK. She died a couple of days later. Terminally sick men and women will keep on till disorders are resolved. Do what you'll to aid her remedy disorders. Good good fortune and God bless you and your mom and household!

Answer 8

Yah, it seems like these things brings out the worst in families. Try to rise above it. Get Hospice involved. They are wonderful and will come to the home right up until the very end. Pray for a miracle. May God give you all strength.

Answer 9

Wow.....I can give you a lengthy response but I can simplify it. Treat your mom like it's her birthday everyday. And she will see the value of your relationship together and you individually. Do everything she wants to do and maybe even w/ her.
The whole goal is when that day comes you want to feel like you've done everything you can for her and you. So you will not have that "I wish I've could of.... I wish I should of...." speech. Allow the remaing time period to be one of the greatest moments between you and her.
As for your siblings and every bonkering move, I will just tell your mom that you will PRAY for them. She'll like that response best towards them.

Answer 10

I am so sorry you are going through this. but i will tell you that you must have her see a lawyer, come to the house. to make sure her affairs are in order.there will have to be a witness to her signature..best not be you, and you not be there for it either..so the money grubbers can not go after you, and your mom's decisions. and this also gives her the privacy she needs without you being there too. maybe her pastor or someone similiar, that is not involved with the end results. if you don't do this, you think it's bad now..wait till she passes away..the claws really come out. God Bless your family and bring your mom peace..