my stubborn 3yr old boy?

Question

my 3yr old boy is stubborn and my wife with 2 girls is having a hard time dealing. when we try to teach him things or correct him he thinks everything is a joke, laughs and smiles and wont try. and nomatter what we do to disapline him he keeps doing the same things over and over. he knows hes not suppossed to do things but he continues to do them anyways. any advice?

Answer 1

It sounds like he is feeling powerless. He is trying to find some power when he doesn’t listen, laughs at you, or won’t try. Are there any new changes in his life that are causing him to act out? If so, give his lots of extra love and support.

A lot people suggest time outs or taking away privileges. These are punishments (you controlling your son) and will not work to stop misbehaviors. Punishment and discipline are very different. Children need to be disciplined to learn to control themselves. Using natural and logical consequence work best when disciplining. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Here are some examples of natural and logical consequence: If he spills his juice, he wipes it up. If he throws a toy, it gets put away until he is ready to play gently. If he hurts someone, he gets put into an area until he is ready to be nice. Let the discipline you use fit the crime committed.

Another thing you can do when your son is misbehaving is to get down to his level and say “I do not like when you (explain what and why).” Take him gentle to a quiet area and say “When you are ready to (stop, listen, play gently, calm down…) then you can come back with me.” This is not a time out because you are not giving him a time limit (you controlling him). He decides when he is ready to control himself.

Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like “You did that by yourself! You stacked all of the blocks! You can jump super high! You used so many colors on your picture!” These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confident builders, great ways to show your love and attention, and great ways to help him to feel powerful in a positive way!

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Here is a great web site that helps with specific disciplining techniques. Check out some articles in the Problem solving parent and Child behavior. http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/page2.aspx

Answer 2

My cuzin and myself partent a beautiful 3 y/o that constantly gets out of hand.

We love her, but we know that we have to discipline. Don't hit, guilt, or yell @ your child. Next time he acts up, try this:

Take the child to an area of the house designated as the "time-out" area. Make sure its a place where there is very little going on. It doesn't have to be dungeon-esque, only somewhere where the child will easily get bored.
Let him know that what he has done was wrong and, as consequence, they are getting a time-out.

Say "Time-out: 4 minutes" and let them know they are not to move for 4 whole minutes. Walk away and let simmer for about 2 minutes. LoL Make sure you are @ least listening to what your child is doing.

If they are being rambunctious, walk into the room and place them back in the designated area, reminding them why they are there.
If the child is crying, hold back YOUR tears and wait out the whole 4 minutes. Be strong... its for the best.

After 4 minutes, walk back in the room and TALK for a moment with the child and let them know that what they did was wrong and if they do it again, they will get another time out.

Its takes some practice but, If used correctly, it can be a very usefull tool.

Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Be persistent. Never let up once. He is not too young for a time out. He stays there for one minute of every year of his age. So, he would stay there for three minutes since he is three. He will not like it and keep getting up, but you have to keep placing him there. Pick one spot to be time out and make sure he ALWAYS goes back to that spot for time out.

There is also another good idea: Whenever my daughter does something good we give her a sticker (she helps her sister or she cleans up without me asking). She then places it on the sticker page on the fridge. Once she fills that page up she gets to pick what she wants to do. She loves this one place where she can go through tunnels and has a big ball room or she can watch a movie when she goes to bed. Sometimes if she wants a toy we tell her she needs to wait until the paper is filled up. It gives her incentive. If she does something bad we warn her and then we take a sticker away. It took awhile to get this going, but it works now that she gets it. We started when she was about three. You can use other things instead of stickers. You can use marbles in a jar or whatever he likes to make it his own. My daughter loves stickers, so she responded better to it.

I hope this helped. He will get it, it takes time and once it sinks he will be a lot happier.

Answer 4

Boys are generally more stubborn and active than girls. Maybe you just havent found the way to discipline him.. Remember every child is different. If you are spanking him and its not working, try taking something from him, or making him sit in a corner or in time out. WIth my son, (hes 2) I tell him he cant watch his favorite movie. ALso remember to explain to him what he's done wrong. Are the girls laughing at him when he gets in trouble? If so that could be a problem, because he thinks what he did was funny or cute and he'll continue to do it to get attention. One other thing to remember, children will do anything for attention, and they dont care if its positive or negative attention. If its something thats not goin to hurt him or someone/thing else, just ignore his actions.

Answer 5

I also have a 3 year old boy. He does the exact same thing. Give him time out make him sit in a corner for 3 minutes. Keep doing it every time, don't stray. Sooner than later he will see that he can't do that. Stay with it, things will get better.

Answer 6

Don't you worry about it. It is quite common for this to happen. We tend to forget that nature has it's way to teach the young of things they need to know. Your little fellow will automatically learn when he needs to learn. Him being stubborn is only his nature. You will surprised that suddenly things will get sorted out on it's own. His qualities are inherited from par rents. One of you must be having a similar nature but you have turned out OK. As he matures you will find him more obedient then most others.

Happy Parenting.

Answer 7

I had the same problem
just don't let him win
I remember with my first son
I took so many things away from him all he had left was his mattress
after about 3 days with nothing to play with and sleeping on the floor he learned to listen better
on the up side I am hopeing his stubbornness will serve him well as an adult
good luck

Answer 8

It is a stage-and it will pass even though it is so annoying for you right now.He wants to test you-see how far he can go-and he wants to show control over you.Every kid goes through it-though some worse then others.