this question is for all the persons out there who know about love. I have been with my GF for forever and a day. for all intents and purposes she is perfect. because we have been together for so long, i do not know if i am with her because i am comfortable or if i'm in love. we're at the point in the relationship where marriage is inevitable. so i need advice to help me before understand what the term "comfortable" means and if i should take the next steps in my life or not.
2006-11-12 12:58:17 · 15 answers · asked by Mr. Cellophane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is a great question and very insightful. I can totally relate; my now-husband and I are high school sweethearts, so we went through that period, too. We questioned why we were together. Was it because we were truly in love or because we were each other's firsts?
One of my favorite quotes is: "Never reject love in search of romance." Being comfortable in a relationship is not a bad thing. It's a sign of commitment and true happiness.
From your question, it sounds as if you really do love your girlfriend but want to be sure you're with her for the right reasons. That's very, very normal. If you WEREN'T questioning your relationship it would be a bad sign!
You may want to take a little time apart. "Sow your wild oats." My husband and I split up after graduation and after three weeks we came running back to each other! After six years together, we both realized we had found our matching puzzle piece and had no reason to go search for another. We were comfortable with the relationship, and comfortable with each other. But we were also in love.
If you two split up and decide you're better off apart, then it was obviously a good decision. If she gets pissed and doesn't want to take you back, then it tells you a lot about her and her true feelings for you. Just remember to look at the big picture.
2006-11-12 18:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Pearl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes i keep asking myself the same question that you're posing to us about love. I find that i love my bf because I am comfortable with him and I can tell him things that I would not tell other people. There are some people that I was not comfortable with and i can spend the whole day with these people and not talk and I will feel terrible and uncomfortable. My bf and I are not the chatty couple and we don't have to talk a lot all the time and yet never once was I uncomfortable. So I guess the term "comfortable" means very different things with different people. You have to ask yourself whether you are comfortable with being comfortable...
2006-11-12 13:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by autumn lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being comfortable is part of being in love. Although I used to find myself asking myself this EXACT question... like, is this right or am I just settling? then I thought if I had to be asking myself, then that was my answer. However, I can't see my life without my guy. I have always been flirtatious and love men in general, but that doesn't take away from what i have now, and I wouldn't give it up just for some fling that was more "exciting" for a minute or two. ya know? I understand what you are going through. No one can answer this for you, like people have said above me... you have to do some "soul" searching... Can you live without her? If she was with another man, how would you feel? Do you want her to be the mother of your childreN?
I know with some people marriage isn't forever, but lots of people, like me, hope that it is. However, if it ends up being an awful mistake, you can get out of it, hopefully that is not the case and you make the right decision to begin with.
Good luck
2006-11-12 13:49:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with comfortable, it is actually a wonderful thing. Being comfy with someone is the ultimate, because it means you are totally open with the other person, and let yourself be vulnerable with them. I think love leads to being comfortable in a relationship. Just ensure the spark is still there, then that is all you need. Sounds like you are in love, and it's time to make a commitment...
2006-11-12 21:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look deep into your heart and ask yourself, Can I wake up next to this woman every day for the rest of my life? Am i sad when she is not around? How would you feel if she left and never returned? A certain amount of comfortable is okay. But is there spark? Do some soul searching. Good luck.
2006-11-12 13:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think to yourself, can you imagine life without her in it? If not, you're still in love, not comfortable. People can get comfortable in a relationship but not necessarily want to be around someone every day. So if you still love waking up next to her, seeing her whenever she walks through the door.... then it's definitely love.
2006-11-12 14:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by afterglow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wonderful, wow can't be without him. Oh my he's so sweet feeling you have in the very beginning of a relationship are not love. Those are the feeling that keeps you around to figure out the rest of it. Compatibility - same goals or like goals - same morals, same religion - same politically speaking.
If you're comfortable that is a very good sign that you are in love.
2006-11-12 13:24:25 · answer #7 · answered by Silly Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you can talk to her about anything and you can't wait to see her and tell her something then you are in LOVE. The more you get comfortable you well know when the time is right and you don't want to spend your time with anyone else. That's Love for you
2006-11-12 13:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by buddy95 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew I was in love with my BF when I became comfortable with him. Just because you're comfortable doesn't mean you're not in love. You just have to ask yourself, "Can i see myself with this person for the rest of my life?" If not then maybe you're not in love.
2006-11-12 13:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by mssweets84 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have to ask if you're "in love" or not; or if you should take the next step(marriage) or not; then I'd probably suggest that no, you're not(in love) and no, you shouldn't(get married). I mean, why step out of the "comfortable" zone?
2006-11-12 13:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋