How can suicide be the anwser?

Question

It is a week to the date that my friend took a gun to her beautiful face. It was the first time I was irate for someone leaving this world. I dont even understand. I just want to know that if someone has the courage to take their own life then why don't they have the courage to stay. I don't understand why I am so angry. maybe it is the the fact that her note said good-bye to me. That she left because "he" wouldn't be with her. Well I never got to say good-bye to her. She never let me have any warning. She never did anything.

Answer 1

there are people who kill themselves because of depression, which is a physical illness in that brain chemistry is so distrupted that the thoughts become disordered. a depressed person will believe others are better off without them and think others will feel that way. for many of these people, life feels so empty, meaningless, and hopeless that being alive requires more courage than pulling a trigger in front of your face. for some people, antidepressants may work just enough to make them capable of pulling off a suicide. for other people, their antidepressant might make them suicidal.

her act is highly unusual for a woman - women don't tend to use guns. she seems very angry. i wonder if she had a personality disorder - borderline - and this actioin a way to hurt everyone around her and keep everyone crazy forever.

either way, it's a terrible thing that's happened to you, too. your anger is very normal; most survivors of suicides have lots of anger.

you might literally want to scream in the shower or when driving alone. you may find this happening already.

keep expressing your feelings - on paper, with friends, in the shower or car.

if she was depressed, maybe she thought, in her muddled thinking, that calling you in advance would leave you feeling guilty you didn't stop her. she may have thought, in the strange way of depressed people, that she was sparing you.

i'm so sorry this happened. fight back by embracing life.

Answer 2

That is a good question about if they have the courage to take their life why don't they have the courage to stay.

Unfortunately, some people are in pain emotionally or feel they have no options and that suicide is the way out. Of cours it isn't, just as the people left behind, like yourself, who have to deal with it.

You are probably angry for a few reasons; it seems very senseless, she didn't confide in you, you feel some guilt and there are no good answers. Your friend ended her life for a very sad reason, just because some jerk wouldn't be with her. That tells volumes about her; she had little if no self-esteem, gave her power to a male that should never have had it in the first place, did not have good coping skills and probably didn't have the best supportive home life.

I suggest you grieve and keep her memory alive inside you but don't let it drag you down. Seek out counseling if you find yourself becoming depressed. There was nothing you could do.

I have one question. It is very unusual for a female to take a gun to her face, or to commit suicide with a gun in the first place. Usually females use pills. Males use guns. Are they positive this was a suicide? This bf wasn't abusive was he? Just a thought since I don't know all the details. I hope you find peace.

Answer 3

Oh, Sweetie, I wish I could tell you the right thing. I don't understand how anyone can do it. I have been down and out before and I have suffered but, never have I thought of that. i am so sorry. You have the right to be mad and feel however you need to feel. It is an awful thing to do. I agree, to do that you have to have nerve and I can't understand it. The bible says that we will understand it all someday and maybe that id wnhen you will know. I guess she felt living was worse than living with the way she felt but, gave you or no one else a chance to show her that it wasn't and you will never get over it. You will lust get on with your life. don't feel guilty, though, I expect you have and will, she didn't allow you the chance to change her mind. you couldn't stop her. It was her choice. So, grieve and be mad and yell at her, get counceling if you need to but, go on and become the women you were meant to be. I'm the opposite, I'd probably go after whoever rather than hurt myself. i don't have what it takes to do that. you take care now and I will pray for you and send love your way. God bless you and her family.

Answer 4

Its okay to be angry. BUT your friend obviously needed some help. I was suicidal for over a year and it was horrible. I have to tell you, If she killed herself over this guy it was probaly a pretty bit deal to her, HOWEVER, That was only the cherry on the ice cream. There had to be a long line of events that led to her suicide. When a person kills themselfs it means that they had no motovation to live. They feel the whole world, thier whole life is bleak, porpousless, and un-hapy. They feel the worlds against them. They are cronicly severely depressed and feel there is no reason to live.10% of suicides happen with-out warning.
Im truly sorry about your friend.
And no, suicide is never the answer.

Answer 5

First, I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Some people see death as the only option of escape from problems they can't, won't or don't know how to deal with. She probably had things she held inside and they ate at her until it got too much to handle.

That is sad and I feel for you. Make an appointment with a grief counselor (therapist) to work through these feelings. He/She is a great listener and can help you manage your grief thru the various stages it goes thru - denial, anger, acceptence, closure.
I think there's 1 more stage, but I can't remember what it is.

Buy a journal and write to her. Let it all pour out. The one thing you don't want to do is hide it inside and let all the questions eat at you. It might sound odd, but she will help you thru your grief.

Talk about it too.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Im sorry about your mate. I dont have the courage to take my own life.. How bad it even is, i dont have it, and i have respect for the people who have the courage to. But taking your life is seriously not the answer. It is one of the last things you should do to yourself when you are in a bad situation. I think she hid her feelings because she didnt wanted you to worry about her. I am so sorry.. My friend had to lose a friend too. He knows the pain you are in.

Answer 7

Ok I'm by no means saying that suicide is the answer. But when you have mental problems that are that bad that you can take your own life it's got to be bad. She probably had problems that no body knew about. I have a mental disorder and when I'm not on medication it is very hard for me. I have thought about suicide. No one understands it unless they themselves are dealing with it.
Sometimes the things that a person goes through a very very hard for them and they think that there is no way out. They think things will not get better. This is especially they case for people who suffer in silence for a long time. It's ok to be mad but please try to understand what she went through.

Answer 8

hi Amber, no I truthfully have in no way met somebody suicidal (alongside with myself) who intentionally attempt to bodily harm others. That mentioned, there is the phenomenon of homicide-suicide - the place a husband makes a decision to kill his spouse so no person else would have her then kills himself (that's only cowardice and administration), you additionally could have situations of toddler custody battles that have been lost and the determine kills the youngsters and themselves out of revenge. Then there is the cult situation the place guru x has desperate that's the tip of the international, so shall all of us kill ourselves. maximum suicides even though are definitely depressed and actually can not see any mild on the tip of the tunnel so which you will possibly talk. rarely do they harm yet another, in fact with melancholy and so on, your thinking can get so twisted which you quite have faith you're hurting others by means of ability of being alive. I truthfully have been down that course many situations so i comprehend the way it feels, yet I truthfully have in no way had to `take somebody with me`. desire this enables

Answer 9

It has nothing to do with courage.....If they had courage they would try to stick it out. Unfortunatly those who commit suicide feel they have no answer and have exhausted all alternatives. They really don't want to DIE, they want the pain to end. It's normal for you to be angry and it will take time to heal. I wish you well.

Answer 10

an attempted suicide is the most deperate cry for attention. a successful one will never be fulfilled.

suicide and death are easy options to those who are in a state of extreme depression and there is nothing courageous about putting a gun to your head.

talk to someone about how you feel. we are nothing but pixels ona screen here. you should seriously consider talking to a councillor bro.

My condolences for your loss.