My Mother-in-law?

Question

Is CONSTANTLY berating my husband like he is a child.. She constantly yells and insults all of her children and her husband. Calling them names and cursing at them. It bothers me alot. My husband works hard, studys hard, and is trying to lose weight - he barely eats. He eats one meal a day and every time he goes to eat dinner with her she bitches the entire time he is eating. Today he woke up with a headache because he slept on his neck weird and she spent 5 minutes insisting it was because he ate too much the night before - he didn't even eat! There is truth in the things she says SOMETIMES but I can't stand to sit there and watch him get bitched at - worst of all - he sits there and takes it - he rarely defends himself and the worst part is I can't say anything because his Mother and I speak different languages. I understand the things she is saying to him but I don't have the words to back him up or tell her to stop. Is this right? How should I handle this?

Yes we live with her. At the time being we need their support, and they need ours as well. We should be moving out next year.

Answer 1

Sounds like you guys may be spending too much time with his mother! If you live with them it may be difficult to get away from, but if you live on your own, you both just need to start distancing yourself from her a bit! I wouldn't really say anything to her, as you don't want to put yourself in the middle. Just make sure your husband knows it upsets you and why it upsets you. You may be the only one that is able to make him feel better about himself and I think you need to give that to him, especially with how bad his mom seems to be. Maybe if he sees how encouraging you can be it will make him realize his mother is handling things the wrong way and he will say something to her!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Well, my first suggestion is talking to your husband--I would approach him and just ask him why he can't stand up to his mother. Chances are that he is just too afraid to confront his mother...if that's not the case, I bet he is afraid to stand up to his mom because you live with her...if he makes her upset, she could ask you and him to move out. If he still doesn't budge--and he says that it's not up to him...or he can't say anything...or he's afraid to hurt her feelings, then I really think you should sit her down (maybe with an interpreter, like a friend, aunt, sister, brother, etc) so that way you can get your point across. Just explain to her how you feel. Say, "I am very gracious for you allowing us to live here and I will forever be in your debt for your generosity, but I really have to tell you that when you berate me, your son--my husband, and other family members, I feel very uncomfortable. I understand correcting someone when they have done something wrong or deemed unacceptable, but when you curse or name-call, I can't help but feel hurt. It's just very immature. Saying these things to the people who you love most is not only disrespectful, it's hurtful. I grew up in a situation where we loved one another--granted we pointed out when someone did something wrong or hurtful, but we loved one another nonetheless." You can obviously say whatever you want, babe...but I think no matter what you need to lay the cards down on the table.

Answer 3

If you live in her house chances are your husband knows it's useless to protest or defend himself.
If you cannot move, then learn to either put up with your mother in law for the time being or keep out of her way.

Answer 4

i did not hit upon a question yet loved interpreting it besides. that's reliable suggestion or maybe in spite of the actuality that no individual requested you, thanks for writing it. As a MIL i'd want to characteristic an user-friendly MYOB MIL. Translated means concepts your own agency mom In regulation. now to not the above author, she's cool. yet please ... MIL's .. do not supply suggestion once you're literally not requested and do not tell absolutely everyone a thanks to do some thing. you're very experienced at being a mom, grandmother....etc. yet issues replace now and again and family individuals to family individuals. So, if all of us MOurOB absolutely everyone is chuffed. it is problematic now to not tell a DIL she is putting the diaper on the incorrect end of the toddler yet she'll discover out quickly adequate.

Answer 5

We are in the military do like we did we put in to move away from md , inlaws live in ga, im from md all my family is there. mother in law has hated me since day one and ive been married 11 yrs to her son. she is a b%tch she hates me and probably will for life. she makes my husband clean up yard, put up or take down stuff from the roof, we have to make our beds, cant drink anywhere but the kitchen, so many stupid rules and were in our 30's. Everytime i hear the song the ***** is back i think of my mother in law, the nastiest ***** in the south of georgia. she is wrong for treating him t hat way, it took me five yrs working on my husband gto stand up and be a man and put his mother in her place goodluck

Answer 6

My Monster-in-law has alot of the same crummy qualities. Point out all the positive that he does and let her know that YOU are very proud of him. Don't be confrontational. Then walk over and give hubby a love pat or a smooch on the cheek. Leave it at that. I'm glad he has a good woman beside him (YOU!!)

Answer 7

My solution is stay away from this woman. Period. Enough space between you guys and her for a period of time should send her a clear message. Anything else is just a waste of time.

Answer 8

tell them