i really like this person but i am afraid of getting hurt again he dosen't know much of what has happened before and i don't know what to say. i left a violent situation which was really bad i got beat up everyday by the person i was with. this new person really likes me he said what should i do i want to go slow
2006-11-12 12:34:26 · 7 answers · asked by piscesbabe12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are due kudos for leaving a violent relationship. I know that isn't always easy to do.
I think the best thing to do is be honest with this guy. Let him know you're just getting out of a bad relationship that turned abusive, and that it really messed with your head. You don't have to go into details. Just let him know why you need to take things slow.
As you're getting to know each other, try to spend a lot of time around each others' friends. The kinds of friends he has will tell you a lot about him, and the feedback you get from your own friends will give you a better picture of what kind of guy he really is, at a time when you don't feel like you can trust your own judgement. Being around other people will also help to keep the pace slow.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 12:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by EQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him aware of what has previously happened if he really like you he will stick around and if he doesnt there are people out there that would love to have you and dont you forget that. i was in a similar situation a couple of years ago and got out of it and have been with my new partner for 2 years now and has never been violent towards me. sometimes you just have to take a chance and it hurts heaps when it happens but life goes on and not everyone is a violet pig.
2006-11-12 12:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by Emma G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. I know you don't want to tell him, but you really should I think. Maybe not all of it, but just say that you just came out of an abusive relationship, and are a tad bit afraid of that happening again. That's all you have to say. I know it sounds hard, and maybe you could even take your best friend along with you. It helps to have support. I'm truly sorry about what happened, and this is going to make dating and trusting guys even harder. Just tell this guy that you want to go slow. If that's not good enough for him, then he's not good enough for you. He should respect you if he wants your trust. Good luck. I hope you'll let me know if this helped and how it turns out.
2006-11-12 12:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Assure him that you like him as much as you do. Tell him you want to go slow. If he really like you he will try to addapt to whatever reality you present him with! Be loving!
2006-11-12 12:39:48 · answer #4 · answered by Deegoor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what happened before. He'll want to know what he should do about it. Just ask him to be nice to you and not to do anything that reminds you of your last relationship, such as raisng his voice to you, nothing more.
2006-11-12 12:42:56 · answer #5 · answered by ricochet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u should ask him out and then go over too his house and do your violent stuff if he doesn't like it he will say is and then i don't know do whatever u think is right thats what I would do
2006-11-12 12:37:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just explain to him your situation
2006-11-12 12:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by pcdo_universe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋