Relationships?

Question

I am currently debating on whether or not to have a baby with my know current boyfriend of 5 yrs....I dont see much of a future with him, but I am truly wanting to have a child..we just recently suffered a miscarriage and he stated to me that if we get pregnant again thats fine with him. I am totally prepared to be a single mom, which tends to be the trend now a days...What should I do?

Answer 1

family life is better for child growth.
hence go for family.

Answer 2

You're probably right, there's no future with the boyfriend if the two of you haven't committed to each other by three years. You say that you're prepared to be a single mom, but you're also forcing a decision on the child to have a single parent. And are you prepared for the possibility that it may be much more difficult to find someone as a partner when the current one is gone? It's unfortunate, but the children of single mothers are more often abused. I understand that you want a child but no matter what glowing terms you dress that feeling up in, it's a sexual urge. And you're involving a child to fulfill that urge. Will you still feel as wonderful about that urge 13, 14 years from now? That's when you hit the rough times. If you have a daughter and you see her getting into a destructive relationship--or if you've changed your mind about how nice single parenting is in the meantime--why should she listen to your advice? That could be really hard on you. You might watch this play itself out and have to do an encore as a single parent to your own grandchild. That's becoming more common, too. I'm not trying to come down all hard and moralistic about this, but asking you to consider the long term years and decades from now. It's a big decision.

I used to give talks in a widowed and divorced support group, and one of them was on single parenting. I used the line, "It takes your free time and chops it up into little unusable bits." And I'd sneak a quick glance around the circle. I could tell who the single parents were. They were the ones nodding their heads in agreement.

Answer 3

I know that you want a child. So do I actually. But, if you don't see a future with him, then why put your future child [and maybe even yourself] through the position of not having a father? I never knew my father, so I know how he/she might feel. Abandoned, un-loved, and possibly wanting to find him. But, just because it's "the trend" nowadays, doesn't mean you should do this. I am truly sorry for your miscarriage, b/c my aunt has had several. I know how much pain it caused her. But, I believe that you should find a man who you know will stick by your side, love you, and cherrish you and your baby. I'll be praying for you all. And, no, I am not a religious freak or nut. I'm just a person who believes in God and wants you to be happy. I hope you'll let me know what happens.

Answer 4

lIf being a single mom is the "trend now days," then there is something seriously wrong!

Children with NO father do terrible in school, drop out of school early, end up working dead-end jobs, or worse, get involved with crime and drugs.

If you "do not see much future" in your current boyfriend, get a trade or a degree in college, then a good job, and THEN find a man, not a BOY friend to marry. Only then, have a child. Do not give your child a life of troubles and problems.

Answer 5

I'm 24 and have four kids ages 6,5,4 and two, I started off young and i'm still stuggling. It's hard, but i manage with the help of my hubby, I don't know what i'd do without him. Trust me it's not easy being a single parent. A child needs both parents in life, it's the best thing you can do. Don't follow the trend. think of having all your needs first like employment and a home first. Knw that you are prepared. Love conquer's all.

Answer 6

Wow. Did you know that a high percentage of kids without fathers attempt suicide and usually at a preadolescent age. Any woman that wants to be a single mom can be. But is very difficult and heartwrenching at times. Not to mention the financial aspects. This is another human being and would be better if you conceived out of love. Not desperation and certainly not with someone you so clearly do not want to be with.

Answer 7

Well if u feel like he is not someone who u want to have a baby withthen don't but at the same time if u do have one with him and he does leave then yes be single that cool! but also look for anoher man not to soon though wait at least 3weeks or a month before getting into another relationship!

Answer 8

Get rid of b/f and find a real man to marry you before kids...
Do a better job in selecting our man this time...
You are offering him something very very valuable...Yourself...
All of you...You are there to be his best friend, lover and satisfy all his personal needs and desires...
At the very least, you should get care, security, tenderness, support, a nice house, car, credit cards, a good life, insurance, health care...A good pre-nup...
View it as if you are looking for a good job...
You are looking for good pay, security, future, retirement etc.
Check his credit report, what does he drive ? Where does he live
Where does he work ? What are his future prospects ? Education ? Previous marriages ? Divorces ? Why ? Kids ?
You are only going to get one more real shot at this, don't take any chances on inferior men...

Answer 9

I have two boys and i have a husband that is around and find it hard to cope sometimes. Being a mum is hard. A child needs both perants in its life. I would wait untill you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Plus if you have a baby with this guy you will have deal with him until your baby turns 18.

Answer 10

Well...I'm 22 and I'm single mom although I'm dating. It's quite hard to be a single mum. But you're not the first one. I do tell you children need a father figure, think about it a bit more, cause with time you'll see that things will get harder.

Answer 11

I would think twice about it, It is not easy being a single mother i know i have been doing it for 15 years and it is not easy, It sounds alot easier than it is, I would not change it for the world i love my daughter, But in this day and age things are not as easy as they seem. Take care.