My parents are adopting a 16 year old boy, who was taken out of his house that he formally lived in for abuse; and a few other things I guess. Is there anything we (my parents) should do differently?
2006-11-12 11:55:01 · 11 answers · asked by I think... 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oops, I meant 15
2006-11-12 11:57:22 · update #1
Thanks for everyone's answers... By the way, he's my *parent's* child...
2006-11-12 12:00:28 · update #2
Well if he was abused then he will be shy, and may even have a short temper... these are completely normal. Your parents need to use complete patience. He could be really traumatized, and have a hard time trusting people. Since his own parents abused him. So don't expect to much from him right away (ex. openness, willingness to freely communticate with you, and trust) Just make sure that you go slow. He grew up with abusive parents. And now he is going to live in a family of strangers, as far as he know you are no different. (NOT SAYING YOU WILL ABUSE HIM! IT'S JUST ALL HE'S EVER KNOWN) He will need more attention than other kids. But don't hound him with questions, it's a fresh wound. Take things slowly. Like when you first meet him just sy " hi my name is _____" give him time to reply but don't pressure him to. Show him where he will sleep and give him a little more time to register it. Show him around and only take things in little peices. He won't want to run before he can walk.
So I hope I helped.
2006-11-12 12:03:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't treat him like he is different. He's obviously gone through a lot already and probably just wants to be loved and cared for by a family. Just welcome him with open arms but don't act fake and OVERLY nice because he will most likely see right through that. Good luck, I was adopted at birth so this is the only family I know. But for being 16 and starting over in a new family, it will probably be hard...but just show him your hospitality and how much you guys will love and care for him.
2006-11-12 12:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by curlyq4990 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all be careful the child has had a bad life abuse is a hard thing my daughter was abused but can not remember she was only 3 months old he remember he will need counseling and a lot of love
2006-11-12 12:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by momas1959 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had an same followed youngster to myself, a million) i'd comprehend that they have some major administration subject matters. i'd could attend to each and every project in a unique way, fantastically even as they get on the point of 18. they may be very autonomous, and characteristic the concepts set that they are on their personal because their first family individuals didn't want them, and neither does their adoptive family individuals fairly, even as they commence going out of the 'ideal little course' they have set of for them. 2) i'd keep in mind that they don't look me, nor will they ever act precisely the way i want them too. 3) i can't attempt to modify behaviors that interest my memory of their organic family individuals. 4) i'd not in any respect down play their abandonment subject matters. 5) i'd not in any respect reason them emotional soreness because I felt like that is what replaced into ideal. 6) in the journey that they were in reunion, i'd not in any respect positioned a court docket order out to stop contact till their 18th birthday, except I felt like their very life replaced into in threat. (mine replaced into not) 7) i'd not in any respect say, i'm followed, so i understand what your dealing with too. each and every tale is diverse, as is each and every individual. 8) i'd verify with them earlier I made a life replacing decision for them, and take to coronary heart what they want for themselves. 9) i does not replace their call, or get a sparkling delivery certificate 10)i'd not in any respect tell them "i'm your mom SHE isn't" and cry in the front of them, asking how they could damage me so, in the journey that they informed me in the different case. that is about all i will imagine of off the great of my head. i'm doing this as if i replaced into MY adoptive moms and dads, telling myself what to do lol.
2016-11-23 18:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by cave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This child needs constant reassurance that he/she is loved. Once this child has gained trust of the family then everything should work out.
2006-11-12 11:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should treat him like any other member of the family. Make him feel part of a real family, that's all you need to do.
2006-11-12 11:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that he knows he is loved and safe
2006-11-12 11:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by druhill119 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him feel "safe" and allow him time to trust you.
2006-11-12 11:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your still alive the did every thing right,
2006-11-12 11:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by tysgrandma99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no jsut love and give them safty
2006-11-12 12:03:04 · answer #10 · answered by kate j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋