i need serious help and she does too........................?

Question

in march of 2006 my wife was diagnosed bi-polar manic depressive she showed no previous signs of condition. she has put me through hell and back. 4 car wrecks,breaking and entering charges,in jaill for threatening phone calls to total strangers,lies about taking psychiatric meds,been seen by psychiatrist and she refuses to go cannot tie her up and force her,her family denies anything wrong and says we need god and this will cure all? she has dellusions of george bush getting arrested,accused me of setting up recording devices in her work and inside her car. told my employer i needed two weeks off because we were flying to italy, lies to eveyone constantly,will not comply with treatments, spent 10 days in psychiatric ward and docs released her. she has costs me approx. 25,000 dollars since march alone i need advice because i think im loosing it! i thinking about divorce what do you guys think because ive tried everything

Answer 1

raymond,

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sure your extremely frustrated. I can imagine that it's not easy living with a stranger.

Go see a psychiatric doctor and tell him about her behavior, he/she should be able to help you to understand what is happening to her. She probably needs different medication.

The most important thing that YOU need is support that isn't a computer screen. Do you have a family member or a friend that can go through this with you? I think you need a little TLC!!

I hope things get better for you and your wife. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

DIVORCE! I don't care what anyone says. You've tried! My father was married to my mother for 33 yrs before divorce. It was awful for him and his 3 children. We, me being one of the 3 children, all have problems because of her. She was also admitted for help and absolutely fooled the doctors. It's real strange how smart the sick folks are and how dumb the doctors can be.

I do have one question...is she on medication for anything? I've always thought my Mom was a bit crazy but after the Dr's got through with her she was worse. The poor lady was on at any given time 20 or so meds. She cheated the system and your wife may be doing the same thing.

Good Luck!! It's hard to talk about huh?

Answer 3

Your wife sounds more Schizo-affective than Bi-Polar. Does she also cycle through times of debilitating depression?
My advice - if she is not willing to engage in treatment then there is little you can do. Support groups are often helpful for people in your shoes. You're describing a long term pattern of behavior - it sounds like you want to leave but feel guilty - stop taking responsibility for her actions. Move on.

Answer 4

First of all what kind of medicine is she on some medicine can cause adverse reactions. And If I was in your place and this was has cost me this much and your still with her obviously you love her or something. If she is seeing a psyc. she is taking meds. for her bi-polar and depression. Usually someone like this does not know what they are doing bi-polor goes off as you say as a manic. I feel for you I have had to deal with people like this and it it isn't fun. Talk to her doctor see what medicine she is on, tell him what she is doing, about your job etc. because that is a felony on her part. And she could very easily set you up if she is like this. Geeee I would run.

Answer 5

Been there done that. My sister is also bi-polar and having delusions going on for about 20 years now, and she just recently started having seizures. Since she refuses to take her medication she has lost all of her 5 children to the courts and now that the kids are old enough to go home they just don't want to. Unless your wife starts taking her medication I don't know what you can do, except the obvious. This problem does not go away but only gets worse. Try harder to get her to take her meds. I truly sympathise with you.

Answer 6

Leave her before you get dragged in any further. Your life is already a living hell. If she is unwilling to get help and her family is unwilling to assist you why do you need to make the sacrifices to save her? She will not change until she accepts the problem and decides to change. Sounds like she doesn't want to .There is very little you can do to help her as you are starting to figure out. You stand to lose more than you realize. This behavior will only increase. What will it take for you to finally let go?

Answer 7

You have asked similar questions already. If you have the feeding of her, start feeding her a strict no sugar diet. www.hufa.org has basic info about blood sugar imbalances. That may help kick her out of some of her behavior. It won't hurt you either. If she will not help herself, by taking her meds, you may be liable for spousal abuse charges if you force her.

Talk to an attorney not only about divorce but about your civil and criminal liability (unwitting accessory after the fact?) and your civil spousal responsibility (I don't know if that is a real legal concept or not). Have you been in counseling to learn how to deal with a bi-polar? If AA has meetings for spouses of alcoholics, someone may have classes/meetings/support groups for spouses of bi-polar.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 8

bless your heart, I'm going through a similar mess with a member of my family as well. How much can a person take you wonder? Mental hospital, counselor visits, time time time---none of which is yours anymore. Call the
dept of aging in your area to see if you can get a respite for a weekend, write down the questions you have and see a lawyer about your rights and what her rights are and email me if you need to talk. Don't forget you are important too.

Answer 9

well, as much as a person SHOULD say dont leave her, it should be some sort of consideration because you are just in thinking it. she needs support and help, and that whole stupid "god" theory doesnt heal real ilnesses, just fake ones. but it's a good consideration because she is gonna make you go crazy, and that's the last thing you need. talk to a doctor because she sounds like a possible threat to herself/others, and that will get her institutionalized. you might want to aim for that because they WILL tie her up and make her get help. i have psychotic paranoia, and i can say from experience that it hurts everyone around you. i started really showin it when i was 16 when i thought that my mother, who SHOULD be a saint, was trying to poison me. i didnt eat for weeks as a result. my girlfriend then, fiance now, FORCED me and tricked me into a doctor, and it worked. be a LITTLE more patient, but if it gets to the point, u might have to leave her for your own health.

Answer 10

You need to stay with her. If she can get stabilized on her medicine things should calm back down to near normal...things will not be exactly the same as before, but she can be the same person you fell in love with. She is sick and is not trying to do these things. Its not her fault, it's all part of the illness. Be patient with her, its hard for you to deal with, but imagine what she is going through. Think of it this way...If she had cancer and it cost you $25,000 (or more) for her to get better, would you divorce her?