When ever im away from my boyfriend im totally happy with what we have, we have our ups and our downs but we get through it....but his little things i thougt were cute arnt anymore... Im sick of his indecisive ness and i just want to blow up he annoys the heck out of me... I love him with all my heart and i dont want to break up with him i want to fix it... I dont really know what im asking, but this is my first long term relationship and i want to keep it that way... any tips on making it last would be fantastic.
2006-11-12 11:44:30 · 15 answers · asked by Jvana 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no use prolonging a relationship if he does not want you or if it is destined to fail. Evaluate what you have been arguing about and what he does that bothers you. You can not change him no matter what, minor things maybe, big things never. Are you guys meant to be? Really look hard at the relationship.
The main reason for having a relationship with someone is so that you can eventually make a commitment to each other for life (marriage). I always say dont date or stay with someone you would not marry. Move on if he is not marriage material or if you dont match. The next 20, 30, 40, 50 years with this person is a long long time. You must make sure you are not only happy sexually and best friends but that you also have personalities that match (fit together like a puzzle). If not it will only be heartbreak in the end whether that is now or 30 yrs from now.
I have been married 30 years and I can tell you from experience that you:
1. cant change a man
2. the little things that drive you crazy get to be big things
3. once the cuddly love affair get old you must have deep love and
understanding.
4. opposites may attract but similar personalities are better for the long haul.
5. sex and lust is only one small fragment in the big scene of marriage.
6. when kids come everything gets harder (not easier)
7. for your marriage to survive you must both be sober (level-headed, no real addictions, no hang ups).
8. if this person is not for you, cut your losses and move on, as the time you spend with this person is a learning experience.
9. make sure you have a man who can take care of you and yo8r kids (breadwinner, strong, knows how to handle money, abitious)
10. really make sure 100% that you LOVE each other, bottom line.
Just be sure. Make sure your communication is good. If he is not willing to sit down and talk about things in a quiet way then he is not mature. And it works both ways. No arguing, fighting, ambushing each other, or games. You life will be spent communication.
Good Luck, you will make the right decision about him. Listen to your gut.
2006-11-12 12:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by Nevada Pokerqueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is incredibily difficult to stay with first love and keep that relationship going. Beilive me, I felt the same about my first long term relationship. I didnt want it to end, I wanted it to be my first and only. But people grow apart, and the love you have dies out. But like with everything, there are always exceptions. Best thing you can do is talk to him over everything your feeling. He has the right to know. If need be, and your becoming really annoyd by him, then maybe you two should take a break to see what its like to be without each other. Good Luck.
2006-11-12 11:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by Hal Jordan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think first loves are meant to last, Jvana - that's how we learn and grow in ourselves and find out what we do and don't like and need in a relationship. Not always the case of course, but when the "little things aren't cute any more" and you lose a bit of respect, it's hard to get back to that initial feeling.
2006-11-12 11:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by LadyRebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change another person. You have to ask yourself, when you start thinking about his annoying little quirks, "if this never changed would I still want to be his girlfriend?" If the answer's no, then you need to move on. Most people don't end up with there first love.
2006-11-12 11:47:41 · answer #4 · answered by wildkitty822003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either want to stick it out or you dont. Am sure you have faults as well. Try talking to him. Now if you become a raging bull all the time with him then let him go. That stress noone needs or wants. And you will only feel like a jerk in the end. Good luck.
2006-11-12 11:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change the way he is. The whole what used to be cute is now annoying happens its just part of being together for a long time. Try gently telling him how you feel if you really love him you can both get through this.
2006-11-12 11:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by Casandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling perhaps? Or simply learn to accept all his imperfections and quirks, because apparently he's accepting yours...
...or maybe the two of you just aren't a good romantic match...doesn't mean you don't love him and vice versa...but we're not always a great fit with someone we dig, even if we want to be...
2006-11-12 11:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time trying to change any one. If you can't get past the little things that upset you then you should not be together. In other words dump the loser. This comes from experience.
2006-11-12 11:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really think that if you are having this many problems with him, its not going to last long term...so get it over with and move on. (i know its harsh, but its true)...don't drag this out any longer. i know how you feel about him, but it seems that you have too many problems in your relationship to manage a VERY long term relationship. don't worry, you can DEF find someone better fit for you.
2006-11-12 11:50:14 · answer #9 · answered by water_admiral 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some big boxing gloves for the fight.
2006-11-12 15:39:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋