Why did she do that...?

Question

i went to meet my bf's mom (they are white) for the first time person to person since she got back from canada.
she had invited us to a bbq so we could all sit around and talk and get to know eachother better (me and her) showed up, i noticed i was the only black person there. [well i wasnt surprised.]
i met his mom, she was really nice and all. but then she was telling me to go and eat something she said, ''can you get me a hotdog while your over there?'' and she said ''thanks shaniqua'' and turned to talk to her son, right before i could even answer. the problem is, my name isnt even shaniqua and i clearly stated that my name was Nicole. they dont even sound alike..
was she trying to be mean?

Answer 1

could it be an honest mistake? shaNIQua and NICole? hehe. i'm sorry but i'll go with giving her the benefit of the doubt, i myself am horrible with names. give her another chance, and if she pulls something like that again, at least you'll know for sure if she's being mean on purpose.

Answer 2

First, maybe she isn't calm with the idea that her son is having a girlfriend.That's the problem a lot of mothers have with their sons and their girlfriends.

Second, maybe she has prejudice toward non-white people but trying to hide it for example, in the first part of your meeting by being nice and talkative. Her prejudice somewhat came up later by not remembering your real name or making up some silly nick name.

Third, might it be that she doesn't have prejudice, but that she was very stressed because of the whole thing that in the end she thought that you two made good friends and that she could make jokes with you. You weren't obviously ready for such a "joke". You have to find out what kind of humour she has and to see if it fits with your case. I hope that things might get better next time you meet. In the end you can always tell her that you mind if she doesn't call you by your real name. Good luck!

Answer 3

She knew that wasn't ur name, and she was definitely trying to be funny in front of her all white crowd. That had to be humiliating! Talk to her son and next time u see her call her 'Becky' or 'Amy' or 'Sue' something really Caucasian. U don't deserve that.

Don't listen 2 these white girls who are obviously blind to the racism here. I went to an all Caucasian school for 2 yrs and i heard a lot of racist stuff but i tell u wat...if u show ur not gonna allow it she'll b hesitant about what she says 2 u. Stand up 4 urself. They don't want u 2 say anything cuz some white people seem to think they can say what ever they want 2 say w/out any repercussions.

Answer 4

Hey, Nikki! Why r u being so afraid of white? They r just all the same. They r humans also. Hey, no feelings OK. Its me ur friend. Yamunah. How come u didn't email me?And Nikki, would u vote on my questions. It will be a big pleasure 4 u. The question is "Who is William Shakespeare?" It's like u get 1 point and I can resolved my questions.




Cool Guy!!!!!

Answer 5

i think you should talk to your boy friend and find outif that was a real mistake that she often has with names, and then ask him if it is a usual thing for her to ask people to bring her things. these things could just be innocent things that happen with her all the time. and maybe because you saw that you were the only colored person there that maybe you could of been a little defensive, im just saying it sounds like to me that everyone was acting a little stressed and maybe things sounded and were taken the wrong way and i really hope that was the case because i couldnt even imagine how uncomfortable you must of been thinking that she did that on purpose in a place that you were'nt use to and didnt know how you were suppose to respond and im really sorry that happened to you.

Answer 6

Honestly, I don't know. She might have. Did you talk to her? It may have been that when you told her your name, she simply wasn't paying attention. Or maybe she just forgot too quickly. Now, I'm sure I would have taken offense if I were black, but I don't know. It might be that she meant it in a mean way. I'd ask her why she called you that. If she gets flustered and embarrassed [like, a lot] then it was PROBABLY not an insult. But, if she's just calm and collected then I would think it was meant as an insult... get it? lol. Sorry, that sounded kind of confusing to me. But, hopefully you get what I'm saying. My cousin is black, and he takes offense if someone calls him by another name.

Answer 7

..lol..I mean it doesn't matter what race she is (if she's racist then YOU be the mature one and NOT be racist back...it's 2006 we gotta get AWAY from that primitive way of thinking all ready..lets just stop it from here), you can ask her...if she is then OH well it's her karma...be the bigger person hun...Do you think she was drinking??
She could have?? If not then she must really heard wrong... Choose positive more ^_^ it usually will turn out to be miscommunication. Have you spoke to ur bf about this? Ask him, he should know how his mom is and can probably answer that for you.

God bless you and yours!

Answer 8

Well am black my self and I think I would have took it to offense but I don't know what I would do, I know I would tell my boyfriend that I didn't think that was funny and just see what she does from there on when you see her again she might change some people are just like that then they see them self in the mirror and realize that they are not being funny about what they are saying and they stop

Answer 9

That is just rude. Did your boyfriend say anything to her, like correct her. And she invited you over she should have been getting you something to eat not the other way round.

Answer 10

Your bf's mom is just stupid. She obviously has some type of problem with this relationship to use such a stereotypical name for you instead of your real name.