2006-11-12 11:30:51 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a standard case of many abused woman. Many have been physically and probably more readily emotionally and psychologically abused to the point that they feel that they have caused the abuse themselves, feel that that person can change which is created by the abuser apoligizing, buying presents, and other things that make them seem more attractive. So some blame themselves or think that the good aspects out weigh the bad especially if the abuser acts like it wont happen again. Others are so fearful that they won't be able to find anyone else that they will stay with the person and even equate abuse as a means of showing affection.
Others feel that that person is the only support they have which may the case as many abusers separate their partners from family and friends which causes the abused person to depend solely on the abuser.
Someone who has been abused needs to have a stronger support network to turn to so they can have someone to go to and to see that they aren't alone, learn to see that the abuse is caused solely by the abusive partner not by them, and understand that that behavior isn't going to change by challenging the abused persons logic by looking at the past behaviors of the abuser and repeated patterns.
You also see this a lot in abused children who try to protect their abusive parents and cannot fully seperate the familial connection with their parents. Remember that an abuser not onle hits someone but also breaks down their social network, breaks down their self-esteem, and makes the abused person feel completely dependent on the abuser. Also its important that abuse is reported so that someone else wont have to indure the same thing; there is a good chance that this person has abused someone else in the past.
2006-11-12 11:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by had438 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because she thinks that this guy will change soon enough. When I was 17 yrs old I got beat on by my boyfriend on and off for a whole year. He also abused me mentally as well. I would always find myself wanting to be with him no matter what because in my mind I was always thinking that he would change soon enough and be the guy he was when I met him. I can gladly say that i'm not the stupid girl I was back then. I'm a grown woman now, and it's been a long time since all of that. I would NEVER, EVER let a man put his hands on me or put me down mentally again. Nobody deserves that for any reason. I had to hit rock bottom before my eyes were finally opened and I had enough. I'm so glad I seen the light of day and i'm glad I hit rock bottom because if I didn't I wouldn't be where I am now. I'm hoping that this person won't have to hit rock bottom and learn the hard way. I hope she wakes up in time and sees this scum for who he is. Her self-esteem is very low right now, and he has control over her mind. I understand why you think this because I used to ask the same question, and then I found myself right where I never thought I would be. Now I have the best man I could have ever asked for. He is a gift to me and I cherish him. He shows me everyday how a woman is supposed to be treated. I'm treated like a queen, and in return he's treated like a king. When you give respect you get respect.
2006-11-12 19:43:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The girl aint right in the head to go back to this man. When you go back all you are doing is telling this man its o.k. you can beat on me I will come back. They always say I am sorry I love you I can't live with out you I will never hit you again I am a changed man don't believe that line it is so old. Sure they might stop for no longer than a month and hit on you some more. And if you have kids by this man or planning to have kids he will jsut start beating on the child.
2006-11-12 19:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by mommys_girl1234 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it amazing?
I think it mostly comes from low self esteem and thinking that they can't get anyone better - a lot of times these women will have grown up without a father or with an abusive father and not know any better - my cousin had an abusive husband and she keeps going back - she grew up with out a regular man in her life and has the low self esteem - makes no sense
If you help the person and really help them get out and get on their feet - or at least offer to and try to - that's all you can do - after that, if they go back -you simply have wash your hands of the situation and try to leave it be
I figure the first time its his fault and the second time (and any thereafter ) its her fault - there are too many people willing to help for someone to be trapped in this type of situation
2006-11-12 19:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by kim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they love the person...no not the abuse but the person they fell in love with...they keep hoping that person will come back...it is also a cycle and after the abuse there is the honeymoon and remorse phase...studies show most women go back at least 7 times...she may be ecomomically and socially abused or isolated and feel like she has no where else to go.
2006-11-12 19:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Therapist King 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bcuz she loves him still and she is crazy. she thinks he will change well he wont unless he gets help and she should leave and not come back. some women like that and i will say that if the woman keeps on going back and leaving and follows that pattern she has low self esteem and this is mean but she deserves it then sorry but why take that kind of crap? just leave leave as fast as the legs will move.
2006-11-12 19:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by smiley283 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has low self esteem and a warped view of her worth as a human being. If she was abused as a child she may think it's normal. She may fear being alone or being rejected and be scared of leaving. He may be a real snake and playing mind games with her and making her believe that the abuse was deserved or her fault.
2006-11-12 19:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by dantheman_028 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its said that love makes you do crazy things. If she really loves him and she knows he really loves her, she will stick by him no matter what. You can't blame him. He doesn't know how to treat a woman. Thats maybe the only way he knows because he might have seen it in his own home as a child. But hold on to what you have. It just may be the last.
2006-11-12 19:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by Gentleman in Disguise 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
because of fear and hope.
fear: that he might hurt her more if she tries to leave etc. or fear theres no one else out there for her.
hope: things will change and he'll be the man she wants him to be.
usually a man wears the woman down with mental abuse as well so she thinks she deserves it or she cant get better.
2006-11-12 19:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by mrs nevz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girls are always like that.They keep going back to them cuz they love them even though they hit them, they will only learn after they've had enough and dont love that person nomore.*
2006-11-12 19:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by abelssexywifey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋