i have been chatting to a fella online for about a month he lives in wales and me in england, we chat on the phone, he keeps me up late chatting to 1pm, any way he wants to meet me and says he can come down to me or i to him, but because of the distance i would need to stay overnight at his place, spend the weekend or him at mine for the weekend, i am not comfortable with this as i think he may be wanting sex and trying to use me and i don,t know if i have that much self control, but i fancy him when i see him and get on well with him but i do not want to be hurt or used. i would rather we took our time.
2006-11-12 11:25:27 · 22 answers · asked by guysmithdenise 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
take no chances. Meet at the public place first or with a friend.
If he is genuine he wont mind. Dont meet him alone. More than your live is worth.
2006-11-12 11:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by dsclimb1 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He can come to see you and book a b + b.
It's only natural that he is hoping to have sex with you eventually if he finds you attractive, but it's up to you to set the pace of it. So tell him there's a nice b + b near yours and you would really like him to come to visit so that you two can meet up face to face.
No need to mention your fears. He's a man, he'll understand where you're going with this. A decent man won't be bothered by staying at a b + b at all.
Meet him the first time in a public place with a male friend or brother. Make it casual. Men know men. If he's dodgy, your friend or brother will probably suss it straight away from the way he behaves towards them.
Don't even bother going to see him. No man worth his salt would expect you to come to him.
2006-11-12 20:08:54 · answer #2 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him and tell him this. One month is not a very long time to have known someone when your contact is internet and telephone. I would give it more time and when you feel you know all the pertinent information then perhaps consider meeting. If I went to meet him I think I would not do so alone and I would stay somewhere other than his place unless he is willing to have both of you as houseguests. Otherwise, if he is willing to come your direction, again I would not meet with him on my own and likely would prefer him to stay in his own space ie hotel, etc. Too much can remain hidden when you communicate in these ways.
2006-11-12 19:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by wannaknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course he would like some sex... you can always make it clear that if he comes down then until you knew each other more that sex would not be happening and you will be staying in seperate rooms.
That way he will not feel like he has come a long way for nothing and will understand that the meeting is just so you can get to know eachother better.
When/if you meet have a friend with you who preferably is male and if you have any problems then make sure there is somebody nearby who you can call who will come round straight away.
2006-11-12 19:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would be very cautious if I were you. I would never trust a stranger so much as to stay overnight at his place or spend the weekend with him. I would not allow myself to spend time with him alone. You could still arrange to meet up with him but take a few girlfriends with you and stay in a hotel. If a man respects you, he will always wait.
2006-11-12 19:31:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Definitely don't stay or invite him to stay. If you want to visit, book into a hotel and make sure you stay there. Otherwise meet halfway and arrange to go back home at the end. It sounds like he may just be after one thing, and you need to drop hints or be blatant about your feelings about this. Most guys will just give up if they think it's gonna be too much like hard work, saving you the heartache. If he is genuine, he will understand.
2006-11-12 20:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by teary chocolate 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well first of all you said you have known him for one month . that's not a long time to really know some one.especially someone from on line. if i where you i would be very cautious about meeting men from the net. but if you do decide to meet him you need to make it very clear to him , that there will be no sex. he may not want to meet you if you make this clear but at least then you will know what he really wanted. tell him that if comes to visit you that you prefer he stay in a hotel . and if you visit him then you will stay in a hotel as well .that should solve your problem .
2006-11-12 19:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take your time over it all. When things run too swiftly then mistakes are made. If a man thinks you're really worth the effort he'll wait and then you'll know he's serious and not trying to use you. Players like to strike and be away before they pay out too much financially or time wise !!
2006-11-12 19:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Meet halfway and have a meal. You can then see what you think about future contacts with him after that. Assume the worst but hope for the best!
2006-11-12 19:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you'll split the cost for a hotel room for which ever one of you travels. Don't take a chance. As wonderful as he seems this may be a game to him. And if he really cares about you, then he'll respect the fact that you want to take your time and be safe about this relationship.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 19:37:34 · answer #10 · answered by honey 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋