Okay, recently I have been having big fights with my aunt and uncle over the way I dress. They do not seem to understand that I like dressing in all black. I feel it represents me but thats a whole other story. Anyway my uncle has threatened to kick me out of the house if I do not stop wearing all this "Goth" ****. They took me in knowing my past and what I went through yet they still ridicule me for not being like them or my other cousins who are not afraid to be girly-girls. I have told them many times that i despise the color pink and no force on Heaven of Earth will get me to wear it and enjoy it! I need help finding some come-backs to throw at them when they bluntly insult me. It's starting to really piss me off and I'm thinking of getting out of the house really soon. Who cares if I'm just 14; I'll find a way. I have before. They think that I'm some unstable depressed child who cant work out her own problems. I raised myself for the past 9 years. I think I can manage right now!
2006-11-12 11:08:55 · 12 answers · asked by frogaloo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, it seems you have a choice to make. Are your clothes more important to you than having a place to live? I don't agree with them trying to force their choices on you, however, they are doing so. So what is more important to you?
You have to choose your battles in life. If you battle everyone about everything, it doesn't mean anything. You have to decide what your priorities are and defend them, but make sure it's worth defending before going to the mat over it.
2006-11-12 11:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by gatheringplace2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK...here's an answer from a 43 year old...
Personally, I don't care for the all-black look for teen girls BUT... hey, live and let live. If I was a teen, I would probably be doing the same thing. Nobody should be judged solely on what kind of clothing they wear. People wear whatever makes them feel most comfortable and that is only what you are doing. Your aunt and uncle need to look at the bigger picture. Are you getting decent grades in school? Do you stay out of trouble? If so, calmly point this out to them. They need to realize that how you dress is such a small thing compared to some of the other things you COULD be doing. I know it's difficult, but try not to get belligerent or defensive. Show them how mature you are being about it and hopefully they will see that it's not really a big deal and will stop pressing the issue. Good luck to you :)
2006-11-12 11:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by Patricia S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are both wrong. They know your past and are trying to change it , or at least the outward appearance of it. The only thing they know is girly girl, so thats what they are going with. YOU know your past and if you are so all fired adult you know it has not been normal and you have not had a chance to be a child in the proper sense of the word. You have been hurt and you are rebelling against anybody and anything you feel might hurt you. ALL of which is understandable. To them your Goth look is rebellion and depression, to you its adult independence. Compromise is going to be a key here. You are fighting over outward nonsense because you are all afraid of the deeper inside stuff which is what you truly should be concerning yourselves with. Go to a professional. Most 14 year olds on the street will end up dead, as prostitutes or involved in drugs. You definitely will not be working towards getting your full education and making something of your life. If you run and they report you you will end up in foster homes which may end up restricting your freedom even more.
2006-11-12 11:18:01 · answer #3 · answered by fancyname 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how that might feel to you - its just clothing and you'd think they could just let it go. But I guess they need something to control and maybe your clothing is the easiest thing they can find.
Instead of getting kicked out, or leaving (cause I am sure a life on the streets, or without a home is going to be A LOT harder than just sucking it up for a bit) try to see if you can find a compromise, and if not - then get sneaky.
Compromise - wear mostly black, but try to bring in SOME color, just to make them feel better - wear black pants with a burgundy top. Or keep your clothes black, but try different styles.
Worst comes to worse, then just through a pastel sweater (get a pink one if you really want to throw them off) on top of your regular clothes and take it off before you get to school.
I am sure they do mean well, even if it is hard to see sometimes.
2006-11-12 11:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by t433_sd 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a huge problem, while I agree with you about your dress if that is what you want to do I can not see a problem, but They do seem to have a problem. Are you adopted or in custody of them is there any where else you could go that would be a bit more understanding. I know you feel that you are old enough to be on your own, unfortunately the law has differing ideas.There are legal people out there that may be able to advise you as it will be better to do it in a legal way
2006-11-12 11:21:30 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could point out to them that you're not a druggie, a car thief, a terrorist, et cetera, just a person who appreciates dark clothing and so on. When pressed, tell them that you wear black because it's artistic or slimming or it complements your hair. Wish you the best. Maybe you can go to goth.net and read about how others in your position dealt with it.
2006-11-13 13:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by Strange Design 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husbands lengthy lengthy gone and there is no longer something you are able to do about it now. that's obtrusive that there is somebody else that he's in contact with. through you accepting the actuality that he's dishonest on you you're putting a terrible social gathering on your little ones. you're in reality telling them that that's okay to enable someone manage you want that. you want to get your self jointly and quick, no longer basically on your sake yet your baby's too. Why ought to you want to be with someone that did not love and understand you. Get the divorce and flow on which include your life. In time issues receives extra valuable.
2016-10-16 08:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by pellenz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've got nice big words for being just 14.
you have to make them feel silly. not in a sly and horrible way.
but you have to make them consider why it really bothers them that much.
i'm assuming you just wear black, and not that you've taken on a depressed and black persona.
ask them if it makes you a different person. ask them if it makes you any less thier family, the colour you choose to wear.
above all be mature about it all, and never resort to strops.
if they see that you are trying to be reasonable, perhaps they will respect you for it, and cool down a little bit.
2006-11-12 11:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by Neorini 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
grownups.. how come they never understand kids wen they r kids once?? pfff. well jus ignore them. DO NOT try to run away or leave or wutever. even if u cared for yurself and all, it dunt matter. dunt run away and make things WORSER AND HARDER. if u leave, you aint solvin anything buh making it worser. my fwend did that a lot, now shes in the hospital cuz they checkin if she all mental or wut. so jus ignore it
2006-11-12 11:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be a smartass and add a blood-red scarf to your wardrobe... there ya go.. a little bit of color. I think some girls look good with the "goth" look... like Rose McGowan... she's gorgeous.
2006-11-12 11:13:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋