My son won't even send me a fathers day of christmas card and still lives with his mother and is 26 yrs old.
2006-11-12 10:58:27 · 12 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What did you do? or not do! The only reason a son steps back from a father - is - he believes his MOTHER! you fool. Look back at your past relationship with your son and try to amend for your neglect. So what's wrong with him still living with his mother. He is probably helping out with the finances, and it gives him a bit of a break on renting on his own. Why should he leave his mother, just because he is 26 years old? You sound jealous of the relationship he has with his mother. Too bad, you blew it and probably a long time ago...
2006-11-12 11:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by peaches 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to be to nosiey but do you keep in touch with your son. My son is 31 but I divorced his father when he was three and because we lived in different states his father did not acknowledge him or his sisters only when we went to my family reunions then we did stop so the kids could see him. My son is a mommys boy but does have his own place. But till this day he loves his father to death but has never sent him a card of any sort for any reason. I guess what I am getting to is boys really don't think of cards and all for the fathers but they do think of their dads more than you know.
2006-11-12 11:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by bert_ind20042000 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
jEstrangment is always painful, be it a child, or any other loved one. There really isn't much you can do to get someone to care, but continue to send out love back to them. All of us go through our own life adjustments, and your son may be going through one of his. Give him space, but don't assume he hates you and you then build walls. Always leave a door open, for if nothing has been done by you to alienate him, he will come back through the door at some point in his life. He may have mixed messages, or messages from others who want to poison him against you. None of this is solveable by you; just be there when he wants you in his life, and in the meantime, enjoy those who do want you near them.
My husband's one son stayed away from him, came back for a couple of months, and then left again for 8 years. Now he is the closest one to his dad, with emails, cards, etc. He has turned out to be the more loving of all three children, but my husband did nothing to make him feel unwelcome. The son did several damaging things to the relationship, but my husband did not retaliate. One day, the sonwas standing at our door, apologizing for "believing Mom, for treating you like dirt." etc.... It was simply a matter of growing up and not polarizing the situation. Nothing is all black nor white. Stay with the gray, arms open, and keep busy. Until one of you is dead, there is hope. Don't focus on cards, or what he doesn't do. Focus on "thank God he is alive, not in Iraq, not on drugs..." and so on. Set boundaries as to how you will let him back into your life...living with Mom yet, is not a good indication of someone ready to live independently; my stepson came back the first time, only to want money. After giving him $5,000 over a few months, he left again. We learned a lesson, and learned boundaries. Love can't be bought nor sold. Hang in there. He is your son! Love him close or from a distance.
2006-11-12 11:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shows ya that he cannot live for himself that he has to have his mommy. I brought up my boys 25, 22, and 9 to always write cards etc. HA HA It is not in the guys genes. I am lucky if I ever see my 25 yr. old cuz his life is too busy and my 22 yr. old I cannot get rid of. I have to make my 9 yr old sit down to send a card and he even forgot his dads b/day, OOps, my fault.
2006-11-12 11:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sons are generally more attached to their mother. But the complete absence of feelings for the male parent as in this case must point to a spoilt relationship. The fault of the father.
2006-11-12 11:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by venkram_99 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you've been a good Dad, then his mother might be guilty of "parental alienation" and engaged in conduct to turn him against you.
On the other hand, maybe he's just narcissistic and self-centered, inconsiderate and selfish. Don't give him anything for Christmas this year and see how he likes it.
2006-11-12 11:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Do you send cards to him?
2006-11-12 11:01:04 · answer #7 · answered by SandyM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you talked with him about maybe there is a problem or rumor that needs to be resolved? Good luck...
2006-11-12 11:01:33 · answer #8 · answered by phyllis_neel 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
o wow..... mabye there was something that happened that he didnt like.....I hate my bio dad and live with my mom......so i am in the same posistion your son is in
2006-11-12 11:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by sportychick 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey there must be a reason why!
2006-11-12 11:05:02 · answer #10 · answered by hunter 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋