my bf and i have been together for 15 months on and off-most the time on-and last nite we were talking on the cell and he said that there is always the temptation to cheat and that scares me.what the heck, i mean that there is always the temptation of infidelity but him admitting to it just tells me that there might be trouble heading our way...i dont know how to act around him or what to say or how to express that his message hurt me! i feel that words like that can only be bad news and never good because i feel hurt yet i do not know how to take it! he says he loves me yet he says that temptation is never excluded-that is reality-but when you hear those words come of your bf's mouth it hurts you beyond words....my question is how should i take this, what does it mean, what should i do, how should i react, and so forth. rt now i am sort of close but more distant with my bf after he said that so yeah, what should i do? help plz!thanks
2006-11-12 10:36:22 · 18 answers · asked by icycrissy27blue 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok first of all wow he must really care about you if he is willing to admit the temptation he doesnt want to hurt you so he prepared you for it in case it does happen hes trying to do the best for you dont jump all over it try to put it in the back of your mind but dont forget it just remember just because he said there is a temptation doesnt mean hes any more likley to do it
2006-11-12 10:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by sweetmelody14 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Someone who is REALLY into you, won't be tempted to cheat...when I'm seriously digging someone, others don't even catch my eye much less activate my libido...
Talk to him about how you feel...seriously...it may be uncomfortable for you but if you two cannot communicate when something is bothering either of you, then the relationship is doomed anyway...
You need to be happy and comfortable in this relationship, and not have someone who is basically threatening to cheat on you or playing head games...what he said was lousy and thoughtless at best...
Perhaps after the new wore off, there was some temptation for him...or perhaps the 'on and off' is getting to him and maybe he came close to getting with someone else during an 'off' period...
Discuss it..that's the key...then you'll better know how you feel and what you want to do...
2006-11-12 18:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be happy that he was open with me in admitting that it is hard to maintain faithfulness rather than acting as if it was all easy. I don't think he said anything wrong. He didn't say he was going to cheat just that there is a lot of temptation out there and he is right.
2006-11-12 18:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's right there is always temptation out there, on the train, the bus, where you work its not strange that's life, he said this to you because he wants you to take so good care of him that he will be able to resist all temptations to cheat, you know "why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home".
2006-11-12 18:45:59 · answer #4 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you to do...That's a scary one for sure. I haven't been in my relationship long, but when my boyfriend and I do talk about infidelity, he tells me that even when we are having problems, he doesn't even want to go out cheat....So he's saying the complete opposite of what your man is saying to you. Yea, I know you are always going to be attracted to the opposite sex and look, but actually being temtped to cheat is something bigger than that.
That's like you seeing someone and then contemplating cheating on your man with this guy. That's way worse than just finding the guy attractive. There is definitely trouble brewing. I don't know how to tell you to act and if you pester him about it, it might just push him further away...What you need to do for yourself is to decide if this is someone you really truly want to be with...Someone who is tempted to cheat on you...I mean, who knows how strong this temptation is...It could be really strong. Either way, he shouldn't be temtped at all. That means he's not happy like he should be.
2006-11-12 18:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he runs this line about temptation again, reply with something like this, "I know that's right. I've always got an eye out for the bigger, better deal myself. Man, if you ever left me or cheated on me, I have five guys all lined up and ready to go," and see how he likes that response. This dude isn't ready for primetime, IMHO. You characterised this relationship as on again/off again; obviously he isn't ready for the next level. I hope you aren't sleeping with him, 'cause if so, you are being played big-time.
2006-11-12 19:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by bongfuel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its not good news. Your instincts are correct. He sounds like he's just being a bit immature and looking for a reaction. Let him know that what he said is not okay, and if he's having doubts or feels he needs to "explore around a bit" then maybe he should go do so...without you around as his girlfriend.
The best thing to do with guys who are wandering is let them go do so, no questions asked. Just make sure that you cut off the "girlfriend" label and go explore around yourself. The majority of guys can't STAND to see their girl with someone else and will come around eventually.
I'm not saying go date someone else purely for the sake of making him jealous. I'm saying: Go date someone else for the sake of finding someone better and more worth your love and affection. Who knows, this "someone better" just might be your current boyfriend who has since reformed himself to not be such a dumbass that's taking you for granted.
If not, then at least you are being proactive to find this someone better and not waiting around.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 18:43:57 · answer #7 · answered by SummerPixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-11-12 18:40:49 · answer #8 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
mmmmmmm you know there is always temtations out there for him and you you will have to trust the person yur going to be with no matter if bf or hubbie you know him was he being truthful or telling that he has a girl he is looking after
2006-11-12 18:48:19 · answer #9 · answered by trashdog1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him and see what exactly is going on in his mind. maybe he is thinking of cheating, well just talk to him, maybe he wants a break. but dont just blow it off, cuz then temptation leads to reality.
2006-11-12 18:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Mai Tai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋