I don't know what to do, I'm lost?

Question

I have reason to believe beyond a reasonable doubt that I have panic disorder. I have done research on several sites and I have all the sympthoms.
I have suffered from it for about a year and a half, but I didn't start considering the fact that it could be a disorder until recently. I want to be properly diagnosed so I can get some help, because it's been really hard to handle by myself.
The problem is that since I'm 16, I need my parents' permission to do anything about it, and they won't help me. They refuse to believe that there is anything wrong with me. My mom has even told me that I'm doing this to myself, asks me why I don't just stop it, so I just stopped telling her about my panic attacks and my fears. Now, if I bring it up, she says, "I thought you were over that." My dad hates going outside the family for help in anything. What can I do to deal with this disorder? I have cried countless numbers of nights in frustration. How can I deal with this?

I would talk to a conselor, but my parents will get mad at me for "going outside the family". They get mad at me for that all the time. Even talking to my mom's sister about family problems is considered "going outside the family" to my dad.

Answer 1

This sounds like you have a very unhealthy family.

I re-read your comments about your dad, hmm he is a very sick very abusive man. If what he was doing in his family was o.k. why would it be bad to go out side the family? Normal healthy people care about one another ... More comments about this at the end

I don't think it is true that your parents can prevent you from seeing a doctor. The doctor may need your parents permission to treat you, but if you take the initiatve of making the appointment and going to it and talking to the doctor ... that puts you in a better position to get treatment.

You don't say a lot about your situation. Are your parents working do they have health insurance? Are they in the Navy and you are stuck with the medical that is on base for military dependents? Are they planing on paying for you to go to college?

I checked this weekend and Generic "Effexor" which many people find effective for anxiety is $72 a month. That is not to much money for anybody in my opinion ....

The point is you have tried to fix it on your own ( if telling yourself STOP and thinking about something else doesn't work, than yes you have panic disorder or some other form of anxiety and need help).

You are painting a pretty bleak picture, and one of the problems with anxiety is cognitive distortion, Everything seems hopeless and like you can't do anything about it.

Try talking to a counsolor or teacher at school. Do you have another relative you can talk to? Consolors at school will know the most about what a 16 year old can do for herself and how to talk to your parents about it ... Basically school consolours are pretty useless but they are going to know the most about your situation ...

First you ought to be able to do something about getting approriate treatment now.

Second, avoid drugs an marajuna if you have ANxitey or panic, because those will make it a lot worse ( but you'll be stoned and not know it) and I've seen lots of people take 20 years getting around to dealing with anxiety because they wasted the best time of their life ( their 20's and 30's ) stoned

Third, I know it seems like an eternity, but its less than 2 years till you turn 18, then you can leave the house ( probably a good idea if you have parents who are responding the way you describe) get a job and get appropriate care for youself.

If your parents are going to send you to college, don't let them pick an isollated school in a small town. Go to a big school in a city where they will have mental health conselors on campus and a good student health clinic, then when you get to college go straight there and tell the doctors what you need.

If your parents aren't going to send you to college and you can't go yourself, get a job, move out, ( or hell just get a job and go see a doctor on your own and get the care you need ...)

These really sound like very sick people your parents ... And it took me a long time to figure out I had to move out, get a job, live with people who were my freinds and didn't think it was o.k. for anybody to suffer from anxiety of depression, and pay for my own medical care to get what I need.

I wasted to many years trying to get along with my parents before I moved away. It took about 5 years after I moved to get through all the grief to get where I can get better and have the kind of relationships I want.

Know this you can get through this ... never forget that.

You have a couple of options for dealing with this. One is since you are 16 obviously able to make decisions for yourself you can do something called apply for the right of majority with a court, its basically where you ask a judge and the judge looks at you situation and says yes, you are able to make you own decisions and they give you the right to be an adult even though you aren't yet 18 .... you will discover in practical terms at 16 if you go take care of your business and call people on the "your 16 your can't do that" B.S. that lo you can do anything an adult can do except 1.) vote and 2.) by liquor and cigarettes legally. This includes things like opening a bank account, getting a job, renting an apartment (*shock*) or moving in with a roomate -- living where you want ... (*shock*) all without applying for the right of majority

Two another option which I don't think is so good for you is to go to state social services and have them remove you from your home. Failing or refusing to give a child needed medical care is a valid reason for the state to remove a child from a home. But I think you would be better off on you own than to be a ward of the state --- which is what happens if the state removes you from you home and puts you in foster care.

So I say act like the responsible for yourself grown up you are, see a doctor, get the medicine you need, figure out how to get the prescription paid for and live the life you need. If you have to then yes get a lawyer go to court and sue for the right of majorty ...


Don not let these people keep beating up on you! You can either get the care you need, or move out find roomates and get the care you need. You have enough to deal with with the panic disorder without letting these people beat up on you.

Remember you can get through this and there is a lot you can do your self, yes it seems radical, but do it!

Answer 2

If you are still at school I would suggest you talk to a councellor who in turn can talk to your parents again. They may get help for you if it comes from an outside source like that. If not bring it up the next time you have a doctors appointment and insist the doctor deal with it. Tell him all your symtoms and stress that your parents wont address the problem. A lot of people are in denial when it comes to psycological problems but you need help now. I wish you good health soon.

Answer 3

The first thing you can do is talk to your school counselor or nurse. They will not ridicule you but will be able to help you. Since you are a minor this should be an easy first step for you. The other thing though is that even though you are a minor you do not need your parents permission to call for a doctors appointment. You would need a copy of your parents insurance card and money if a co-payment is needed but you do not need to be an adult to make a doctors appointment and to go there by yourself.

Answer 4

Ok, breathe and now take a deep breath.

Let's get the focus where it belongs...on YOU!

I really don't care about...all those others as they did not write here.

1. You have a right to be happy.
2. Practice - every time you pass a mirror, smile , then a great big smile...yes everytime!
3. Now make a list of everything you hate, and everyone who has ever hurt you and everything bad.
4. Now make a 2nd list of everything you want to do with your life, what good attributes people you admire have, and what you like about others, and see how you have some of those qualities and write them down.
5. Now take the hate list....is served you because it made you realize that somethings are bad for you....and tear it up and throw it away.

6. Take the good list...and keep adding to it....and when you accomplish anything on the list - cross it off....it means you are taking back control of your life.

7. You are a good person, and are now realizing what you don't want in life and how you will choose to be treated.

8. Stop focusing on others, and put your focus back on yourself....it's ok to make mistakes...and forgive yourself and anyone else who needs to be forgiven.

9. When you find yourself ...getting mad...make the list again of what's bugging you...yes get it out...write it down...and you know what to do with it.....otherwise reread what is #5.

10.. Remember to talk to your guidance counselors at school, or at church and ask them for help...yes you must ask...otherwise they will mind their own business.

11. If you want to have a good relationship, remember to smile and say hi to new people.....and if they say hi back...perhaps you make a new friend.

When you're old enough, you will develop trust and you will give trust to others ...when they prove to you that they will add to your life.

...YOU have a Right To Be Happy...and no one can make you happy but you..
Now put GOD to the test...GOD loves challenges...tell GOD what's bugging you...GOD is never too busy.....for YOU!

Answer 5

all of us struggle by way of emotions of melancholy in our lives. this is area of being human. this is not advantageous, even regardless of the undeniable fact that this is area of who and what we are. we gained't evade it and while we combat it and win, we pop out as better people because of the fact of it. We study difficult training in life because of the fact of it. with the help of our very nature, people are hooked on what we predict of is satisfying yet will make us finally unhappy. Such is the direction of human life, till we study from our errors. And it takes a life time of errors to ultimately study (if some people ever do). interior the top we are able to easily attempt. some thing is making you experience this way and you may desire to speak to somebody who's non-judgemental to locate what is going on on your life. you have a lot to grant this international, you only do no longer comprehend it yet. If no person supplies you an excellent gamble, why no longer provide your self an excellent gamble?

Answer 6

Talk to a counselor or school nurse they should be able to help you get the help you need or convince your parents that you have a very real problem that is affecting every aspect of your life.

Answer 7

if u can find a way to get to a clinic then u can probably get a diagnosis. if u need ur parents permission tell them that u would feel a lot better if u knew for sure that it wasnt sumthing serious, if u knew it was all in ur head. my dad wouldnt take me to a psycologist until i got sent to a mental health hospital and then he stopped taking me cuz he hates admitting that he or me or my sister needs help.

Answer 8

There is a probably a guidance counselor at your high school. Try talking to him/her and find out if they know a good way to go about this problem. I would think they would have good ideas for you, and would maybe help you talk to your parents.

Answer 9

Gary Craig came up with the emotional freedom technique
it very simple to learn and there's many people around the country who can tell you what this is all about
if you want to find out yourself
www.emofree.com
or go see
www.alfonsven.com this man has incredible healing qualities

Answer 10

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/