Is this a healthy ralationship or am i wrong?

Question

Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and five months I love him alot we have a baby together but the problem is that i get jealous alot. I dont have many friends any more i put my boyfriend first but he still has alot of friend and i kinda get mad. He always seems to put his family befre me and that makes me made too. I also get mad when I hear about his past relationships even when he checks out girls on tv is this normal. He doent get like that so why do I What should I do I dont want him to get fed up and leave me.

Answer 1

Everyone needs friends. It was a mistake for you to give yours up. Dont expect him to give his up, he is being normal.
He should put you before his family in most cases however.
You do seem too jealous though, it wouldnt hurt to get some help so you have a better idea of what is reasonable. good luck.

Answer 2

I don't think it's unusual for you to get jealous of him checking out other girls - even if it is just on tv....just a little jealous though - not like crazy jealous. As for the stuff about him hanging out with his friends, you should really make an effort to get a bit of a life of your own. This is probably difficult for you because you have a baby, but make an effort to reconnect with some of your old friends, or even start taking a class (work out class or academic class) and meet people. Ask him to take the baby one night at week so that you can do this. Another option (depending on the age of the child) is to make friends with other mothers by getting your child involved in things. If you have a small baby go to the mom's & tots things that are during the day.
If this is all unappealing to you, then maybe get a hobby like reading or knitting or painting that you can spend some time on. Once you start doing your own thing just a little bit more, you'll feel less jealous of your boyfriend when he does his own thing AND he'll probably think that it's kinda sexy. ;)

Answer 3

Jealousy is what's making this an unhealthy relationship. Loving someone doesn't give you ownership of that person and making them your whole life. The way you're acting is going to drive your boyfriend away. You need a life outside of him. Your baby should be your first priority because it's helpless and depends on you for everything. Try balancing things out. Start contacting some of your old friends or make some new ones, get in touch with family members, start a hobby, attend some parenting classes and join and attend a local church. Is he really putting his family ahead of you or does he have a relationship with his family that you don't have with yours. Try being friendly with his family members. There's no harm in commenting about someone on TV. You have a lot of insecurities that's causing you problems and driving others away. Try professional councelling or maybe group therapy where you can share your feelings with others who has the same problems as you.

Answer 4

Well not trusting your man is reason to make him want to leave. Being jealous isnt a good thing. This man has a family and friend that he has made a part of his life. You are the one that cut everyone off for this man. He didnt ask you to you just did it big mistake. He is human and will find other people attractive yes even on tv.You are not his world you are a part of it. No one should make anyone the center of their world you have a baby and that baby needs attention also. Would you be jealous if he spent time with the baby. Grow up and accept the fact that he has a life and you are a part of it.

Answer 5

After a baby it is easy to feel jealous. Most times jealousy is a result of something that has happened in the past. He needs to put you and the baby first, you are his family now. He needs to grow up. I hate to say it, but it sounds liek my ex, we have a 3 year old and he does all the things you listed, he did it then and he does it now. I would get jealous and he'd get mad and make me feel guilty when in reality, he was wrong. He should take your feelings into consideration and not do things that make you upset. He doesn't get jealous because it sounds like you don't do the things he does. It would help to get out and have friends to do things with. If things don't improve, you may have to find someone who doesn't treat you this way.

Answer 6

You are who you are. It is up to you to make the changes. YOU made the choice to distance yourself from your friends, not him. You need to re-establish contact with your friends and family. Find things for yourself to do.

If you see a hot guy on T.V. say it out loud. If it upsets him, then maybe he'll understand how you feel, but aside from that, don't expect him to give up friends and family for you.

After many years together, you will realize that you are number one in his life. The more secure one feels in a relationship, the more one wants to protect it. It takes time. Your relationship is young still, even with a child, his friends and family have been there all his life.

Instead of being angry with him, simply ask him to include you with friends and family get-togethers. Getting mad solves nothing. Talking rationally does. The next time you feel yourself get mad, take a deep breath and ask yourself if he is really doing anything wrong to deserve your anger.

Answer 7

No, it's not healthy.
You're too jealous and insecure.
Having a relationship does not mean loosing individuality and basing your life on your boyfriend. A relationship is a part of the life but not YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
Your boyfriend is ok on keeping his life, he is aware that THE RELATIONSHIP IS A PART OF HIS LIFE NOT HIS LIFE.
I think you need to think about you as a person. I think that if he leaves you your life will break apart and you will suffer so much because you are so dependent on him which is really bad.
It is not healthy at all and he will get tired of this. The thing you must do is having a life yourself. Calling to your friends, having a hobby. If you do this he will feel very attracted to you.
But if you insist on your attitude he will leave you someday so GET INDEPENDENT.

Answer 8

It doesn't seem like much of a relationship, healthy or unhealthy. When two people have a child, their committment needs to be to the child. Which means forfeiting your own needs and putting the child first. You seem lonely and needing affirmation that you are still attractive to him. As the father of your child, he needs to step up and assure you that you are still the one. And you need to make sure he knows he is it for you. If the two of you can do this, maybe you have something to build on and something to offer your child. Jealousy is an evil thing and can erode away the strongest of love if you let it. You guys should get "couple" friends with children so you can support one another.

Answer 9

Make new friends and call up your old Friends you drop when he came around. He did not leave his friends... Ask your friends to come over or plan a day out with the girls and have him watch your baby. If you sit at home and let him do this to you, then he will continue... You are not his slave. Friends and family are the most important thing in life get yours back. And if he leaves because of this then let him go.

Answer 10

You cannot sacrifice everything for someone else, and no one should expect that from you.

However, you also cannot be expected to take a backseat to everything else in his life. There needs to be BALANCE in a relationship!! This is one of the most important things in maintaining a good healthy relationship, it is borne out of respect and mutual understanding...

In my experience, a relationship that is not based on respect an mutual understanding will not last long, or at least not be healthy and happy!

You should really evaluate where you are at and how happy you are with yourself and your boyfriend. You owe it to yourself and him to make sure you are doing what you can BUT also that you are not the only one working on your relationship.

Good luck dear... try to remember that you can NEVER make anyone else happy unless you, yourself, are happy first!