Am I going to heaven or will I be condemned to hell for my sin?

Question

I have been in a common law relationship for 30 years. I became a Christian 10 years ago. My common law spouse keeps procrastinating about getting married and I don't want to manipulate him into it until he is ready. Through a mutual decision, we are no longer sexually active. I know that I am not guilty of the sin of fornication, but what about our still living together. I believe that it would be wrong to dissolve the relationship. I have a step daughter and three beautiful grandchildren that I do not want to loose. I have prayed about this for years and one time I heard the Lord say "Be Still" I am not sure about my salvation even though I am a born again Christian who loves Jesus and tries to follow him. I would appriciate opinions from born again Christians. Thanks
P.S. My spouse is not a believer.

Answer 1

Continue to LOVE. And show that love everyday. Jesus will take care of the rest.

Answer 2

Traditionally, in Christianity it was believed that God elected those he liked for salvation around the Fall and nothing you did mattered. However, you are a Born Again Christian, so your beliefs differ quite a bit from original ideas about salvation, Heaven, and Hell.

You need to do what's best for yourself and your family. If common law marriage is legally recognized as a married, then you're married. If you want to have a party and a Church ceremony to celebrate your time together, then go for it. The relationship is what matters, not the wedding. Your monogamous relationship sounds like it is more respectful and moral than some people who get married in church, yet cheat on each other and lack respect and love.

Answer 3

All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. No sin weighs more than another. If we have sinned, and we are judged based on that, then we burn. If, however, we trust in Christ to have paid or debt for us and acknowledge him as the Savior, the Son of God and work to follow his teachings, then you will be forgiven. You know this already. Not saying Christ is a "get out of Hell free" card.

I would question why your spouse does not want to get married. He has shown the level of commitment needed. I would address this question to your spouse. Tell him in person what you have told us onver the net, and see what his response is. Do not give an ultimatum, but explain why you feel you need the marriage. If he is understanding, caring, and compassionate, maybe he will finally go through with this. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

God joins you together not man. Live with the man you and your children love. The only sin you are committing here is a minor law of the land sin. Don't let the opinions and out of context verse quoter's keep you from happiness. Become a christian, Christ's blood will make you pure, live for God the best you can and his Grace will fill in any lacking you need to go to heaven. It makes no difference if your husband is a believer or not. If you don't believe this you will probably go to hell anyway, so why not be happy while you are on earth and quit worrying about it.

Answer 5

Here is my view on things. (going strictly biblical and not by what the "CHURCH" considers a sacred marriage).
In bible times a marriage was consummated. Meaning you were married at the very moment a blood covenant was made (the breaking of the hymen). There were no "legal" marriages consisting of documentation and recognition from the state.
In my opinion there are certain situations where the legal marriage of today is just not the best decision. I know a couple who are both disabled and if they were to be married their benefits would be cut in half. They are barely surviving on what they do have. They were in a similar situation to yours and felt guilty about not being "married". They decided to hold a commitment ceremony (with an ordained minister) to make their relationship honorable in the eyes of God. I don't want to say that legal marriage is just a piece of paper, but in a sense it is. As long as the commitment is made before God, it is pure in his eyes. It doesn't need to be recognized by the government.

Answer 6

sister-friend, if you think he's going to marry you after living with you for 30 years, you've got another thing coming. i sincerely do not mean to be harsh or hurt your feelings by saying this. the reality of it is, that he knows you're not going anywhere--as in leaving him--after all these years. he is getting to have his cake, and eat it too. you've probably made his life very comfortable for him. after 30 years, it's no longer called "procrastination." he has had the benefits of a wife to take care of him, without having to commit to the responsibilities and legalities of marriage. there is no way on earth you can manipulate this man into marriage or anything else. and why would you want a marriage based on manipulation? he's already proved he can out last you by not having married in the past 30 years. i sincerely hope this all works out for you. you might benefit from a women's support group.

Answer 7

No, the key to heaven is to love the Lord and believe that Jesus Christ,died on the cross and then rose again to save us from our sins. God will forgive you, he doesn't hate anybody, and everyone sins. And you say that your spouse is not a believer, then you should help him understand what God is, make him a believer. It's harder to get out of being a Christian than it is to become one. That's advice from an eleven year old, pretty good,huh?

Answer 8

I am Roman Catholic, may I answer?
You are in a loving relationship for 30 years. You have family, and community involvement, as opposed to isolation and anger. So I feel strongly that you are not going to hell.

Of course I am not GOD, and do not know.

If you received a calming message to be still - then stop thinking about this and be happier! Surely there are issues to put your energy into - your community or family? Volunteering your time at hospitals or care facilities? The library? Schools?

I wish I was as blessed as you.

If this pressure comes from outside your home - don't listen to them! you and your husband have earned your peace, keep other busy bodies out of your life.

(Sorry born-agains tend to distress me, as they are too pushy.)

I hope you and your husband and family a peaceful life.

Answer 9

You have committed no sin. And if you imagine you have, or if some pharisee told you you have then Jesus is there to tell you: " I will not condemn you. go and live in peace love your God and your neighbor as you are loving yourself.
That your spouse is not a believer only goes to show that there are good people who are not caught up in the dilemmas of the many religions. You would not have stayed with him all that time if He wasn't a beautiful person.
In my Jesus experience I discovered that all the scriptures are there to tell us about Gods great love for all his people. Not about the importance of church !!

Answer 10

Once you had intercourse with your husband, you consummated your marriage in the eyes of God. That's why he warned against fornication. Its an act of becoming one in Gods eyes. Multiple sex partners is fornication. It makes you unloyal to your original spouse. Sometimes the spouse can Cause their partner to commit adultery at no fault of their own. Todays marriage ceremony is like Christmas holiday, another way to make money. Notice they have built an entire industry on it.....Its CRAZY.