Why do so many people's relationship questions reflect selfishness?

Question

I've been on Y/A a few days and so many people's questions about dating and relationships seem to start from the assumption that relationships are about "Me, Me, Me"--about "getting what I want, about "what's in it for me," and about "getting my needs met."

Why is that?

Answer 1

Because most people (who don't know any better) think that relationships, like life itself, are to be all about them. That's why these never work out. Never. Love is not selfish- the Corinthians knew whereof they spoke but we don't. Now that I am older, I know what love is supposed to be but our societal trend is too egocentric and greedy for us to succeed at this. It seems that the ONLY relationships that work out are the ones wherein one partner is devoted totally to the other's whims, whatever they entail.

Answer 2

I personally beleive that all relationships have to start from a selfish place otherwise we give up our soul to a partner and that is eventually terminal to a relationship. After 14 years in a selfless relationship - I just can't compromise my essence any more - it is life draining. Be careful about casually using the term "selfish" for some it may be healing in a socity or relationship that doesn't honor self. I believe I will be a kinder gentler more sensual partner if I maintain my "SELF" in the relationship and I would like the same from a partner.

Answer 3

I think all the people with any sense, who care about their partner know enough about their partner to not have to ask anyone anything. Does that make sense lol? I think people join this site for 3 reasons, one they like to help other people, two they want to gain something for themselves, or three they're just bored. So if you're not one of the people answering questions, you're one of the people asking questions hoping to justify something that you are doing. People who are selfish probably know they are and in some way maybe they feel guilty, so they post their question about their relationship that may be selfish hoping to find someone as selfish as they are to get justification for what they want or did. Lol did I just confuse you? hope not!

Answer 4

well these are personal questions of people who need answers for themselves in a relationship situation. no one can ask for another person about a personal issue.
it is normal. and shows how confusing relationships are to figure out on our own.
these same people then turn around and give good advice when they have learned how to personally deal with something, so the circle of give and get is complete.

Answer 5

Because people are inherently selfish. Some can exhibit unselfishness from time to time, but even then, the unselfishness is displayed for a selfish reason more often than not. It's sad, but it's true.

Answer 6

I agree with everyone else! I love to look and ask questions because no one knows all the answers! It doesn't matter how experienced you are in a relationship, they is always going to be twist and turns! It is good to seek counsel! And then after that, just follow your heart!

Answer 7

Because a lot of people are just that: selfish. It's one of the biggest reasons marriages end in divorce, I think.

Answer 8

Because human beings are selfish; it is in our very nature to think of ourselves before anyone else. This is a habit that can only be broken through prayer, in my opinion.

Answer 9

Do you expect people to be in a relationship if they don't get anything out of it?

Answer 10

We live in a very self centered self absorbed society. Thats why divorce rates are high and also why its getting harder to find good friends. People are just into themselves.