Are the Americans eejits or getting smarter all the time?

Question

An Irishman and an American are arguing about who went into space first. The American is adamant that Uncle Sam was the first to put a man on the moon.
"What bollocks," replies the Irishman, "and anyhow, I hear that soon, we'll be sending an Irish astronaut to the sun!"
The American can't believe his ears. "Don't be so ridiculous," he laughs, "the fool would burn to death!"
"You great eejit," replies the Irishman, "We're not all stupid bast***s...we're going to send him up at night."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A family are on holiday at a nudist camp. Walking around, the little boy looks at all the different-sized d**ks on display. He asks his dad, "Why are those men's willeys all different sizes?"
His dad replies, "Well, if you have a small d**k, you are unintelligent; but if you have a big one your're brainey."
Later on the dad asks his son, "Where's your mother?"
"She's speaking to that man over there," says the little angel, "and he's getting smarter all the time." :)

Answer 1

Good ones fidgety!
A woman woke up and told her husband about a dream she'd had last night."I was at an auction for penises," she said."The big ones sold for a 1,000 dollars and the tiny ones for 10."
"What about one my size?" asked the husband.
"No bids."
The husband felt crushed and decided to seek revenge.So the next morning he told his wife that he'd had a dream too.
"I was at an auction for vaginas," he said."The really tight ones sold for 1,000 dollars and the loose ones for 10.
"What about one like mine?" asked the wife.
"That's where they held the auction."

Answer 2

Well, some Americans are getting smarter, without enlarging our equipment. For instance, I can spell "idiot" correctly. However, if you want to check out Americans and others who qualify as eejits, check out the Darwin Awards:

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who, uh, remove themselves from it...

Like two people, 17 and 20, who imitated Darth Vader, and made light sabres from fluorescent light tubes. That's right, they opened them up, poured gasoline inside, and lit them. As one can imagine, a Star Wars sized explosion was not far behind. Darth Vader died, while his opponent survived to 'fess up to their creative, but stupid, reenactment.

Some moderators said 17 was too young, but I disagree. This one passes the "no minors" rule, because 17 is legal driving age, and old enough to pump gas is old enough to know better.
Reference: news.bbc.co.uk

Speaking of pumping gas, this is unconfirmed, but a Pittsburg woman told a gas station attendant that she had spilled some gasoline, and wouldn't pay for it. He indicated disbelief, whereupon she said, "Look I'll prove it," and tossed her cigarette into the puddle. The gas ignited -- proving her point, but landing her in court in 1993 for inciting a catastrophe.

When you hear the words, "Look, I'll prove it," run away!

Answer 3

The old ones are the best.

Answer 4

gmac msas

Answer 5

cheers

Answer 6

sorted...they made me laugh..cheers

Answer 7

Garth, you terrorist, go to you beloved ussr, loser.

Answer 8

Those were cute, thanks for the laugh! :)

Answer 9

lol.....ewwww lol...