I've known a guy for about 2month on and off because he travels a lot. finally, we have decided to know each other further and planned a trip for two days at a nice resort hours away from the city we live. BUT, I am not sure that I am really ready to get that intimate yet, so when I booked the resort I have picked a 2-bedroom units which will provide total privacy if I want to. Is this too bad for a guy if I hint him before the trip that I may not have sex with him even if we are going away for. Is it very misleading or a guy can respect the fact that a nice girl wants to get aways with him in order to know him better rather than commited to have sex with him by agreeing to go away with him for 2 days. I know he has expectations about having sex.Guys please help with your insights. Girls, do you have similar experience before and how did you handle it?
p.s.I am 80% sure that the guy really likes me and it's not a fling.
2006-11-12 07:54:38 · 13 answers · asked by 1001Questions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, it is 100% ok to be honest that you are unsure about whether you are ready.
If he gets sex signals leading up to it, and then nothing happens, he will be heavily focused on it, frustrated when it doesn't happen, and make the weekend tense.
BUT... you also have to be willing to make the decision on whether it is ok to have sex with him even if it does turn nout to just be a fling.
If you have to be sure he is " for real" before having sex, DON'T have sex. You will regret it, hate him, hate yourself and just be in a generally bad place.
With him: Be honest, be honest, be honest.
About sex: Be real, be real, be real.
2006-11-12 07:59:23 · answer #1 · answered by kiltboi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lets see. If there's a girl I've known for two months and really like and we're going away together for a get away to a nice resort I'm going to be expecting something to happen. That's what's going to be on most guys minds. There are other ways to get to know each other. A resort get away is usually reserved for romantic/sexually intensive get aways for couples not "getting to know you" retreats. Date, see movies together, have dinners and lunches, picnics in the park what ever. But hey that's just me. Good luck.
2006-11-12 10:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by Dark 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're going away for a weekend with a guy, i think 99% of the world would assume your having sex with him and most guys would assume that no matter what the girls say they are going to end up in bed together. If you are VERY up front with him it might be ok but hard to tell. Just be honest with him, if he is a decent guy at all he will respect your wishes and make it easy as possible for you to stay celibate.
2006-11-12 07:59:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jim V 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him know up front with your feelings about sex. Tell him the resort you picked has a two bedroom and you want this time alone to learn about the relationship. And you can also tell him things might happen but you are not sure if you want them to. No pressure on you'll. Be honest with him if he thinks anything about you he will be honest with you when you talk to him about it.
2006-11-12 08:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by buddy95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are almost sure that he likes you and this trip is meant for you to spend time together and get to know one another, just come clean. Let him know about the extra room you booked just in case you feel uncomfortable. I'm sure he wouldn't mind and it will probably help as it will make him more determined in making the right moves to ensure you won't even remember booking that room. I hope you have a great time!!Good luck!!
2006-11-12 08:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by PhiloPhobic 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep. He's expecting some pooty-pooh. And if you're not ready to give it to him, then I suggest not going away with him for the weekend.
You could always tell him that you've booked two rooms, and why. His reaction will tell you everything.
And Poster22, she's not being a prude. I was 22 before I gave it up, and it was to my fiance (now husband). No one, not even some hot, smooth talker was getting the pleasure. . . :)
2006-11-12 08:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of going out to dinner to get to know one another? Why a motel out of the city unless one of you are married? Yes, it is misleading. Motel=weekend=sex to most men. I think you should straighten this out before you go for a weekend. He might not show, honey, then you're stuck with two rooms all to yourself.
2006-11-12 07:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just let him know that you want a long term relationship...not a fling and most guys can respect a women for that.
2006-11-12 07:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by ManWithAPlan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish to be a fly on the wall when you break the news to him. Remember that Seinfield episode when that gal from out of town that Seinfield was hittin' on agreed to stay at his place then gets on the phone and calls her fiancee? I know this is different, but still would like to be a fly on the wall for the Seinfieldian reaction that would probably come. :) Ya'll keep me smiling. :) Peace out.
2006-11-12 08:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by donewithyahooanswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The guy will be disappointed but if he is really interested in you
he will not let this deter him in his mission to get to know you intimately...It is not a bad idea....It leaves you options...
From the sounds of it though, you are going to be hard pressed
to make some kind of decision soon...
Pack pleanty of clean panties just in case...
2006-11-12 08:00:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋