So my grandmother and uncle are living in my house. But they are not nice people. They are very ignorant and rude and selfish and hate everyone and everything. Trust me, if you met them, youd hate them in a second. Anyway the only reason im keeping my mouth shut is because shes my mom's mother. I need ideas on little things that could drive them out of the house. They dont appreciate anything, they gossip and badmouth me to everybody. Even when im the one paying there bills. So what could i do to drive them out????? (sorry for a long summary)
2006-11-12 07:48:47 · 20 answers · asked by MelXXX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My 14 year old daughter is in fights with them all the time. They just make fun of her and gossip about her. Ive heard some of the stuff they say its not nice at alll. ( My daughter is on here alot if anybodys wondering about this account)
2006-11-12 08:01:29 · update #1
You have to stand up and be heard. You have to tell them how You feel, and how what they have said has hurt You. We teach People how to treat us. Let them know how much You love them, but that things have to change, or they will have to live elsewhere. You see We allow People like this to act the way they do by keeping quiet. Perhaps You have never stood up for Yourself, and when You do, things will change. That might be for the better, and it may not. I know it is hard. Hon if You knew My Dad, You would know that I understand. And even when I tried to stand up He shot Me down. But now He has come back around, and has changed. I have faith, and truly believe that People can change, no matter how old they are.
So take the time to write down what You want to say to them. Have a strong Male figure, friend, or family member present for support, and tell them the truth. It is better that they know. It is not on You, it is on them.
God Bless
2006-11-12 07:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Difficult
I guess having your friends around more often - and having a few parties on a regualr ish basis might help.
More direct and "to the point": If they are ever both out at the same time, popping two beds in one room and asking them to share as you have a friend moving in who needs a room?
Explain that you need to charge more rent - especially if you are charing little already.
You did give along summary but you did not say thngs like:-
1 do they pay rent
2 how many rooms do you have
3 how long have they been there
4 WHY are they there?
5 Could they afford to live elsewhere
6 Any other relatives able to take them in if you get them out?
help us help you!
2006-11-12 15:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Mark T 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well you could certainly mention to them that you are the one paying the bills and as such do not like how they talk about others, especially you. You might also want to do some research for them and then present it to them with alternative accommodations that they could investigate looking into as a new residence. If all else fails and it is just to much for you to handle then you need to be honest with them and let them know that it just isn't working having them stay at your home and as such they need to move on. Sounds kind of harsh I realize but your own sanity is more important then these adults having a roof over their heads. Besides there are a lot of shelters in most communities that they could stay at for a while if necessary and this may help them realize how good they had it while staying with you.
2006-11-12 15:56:41 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is not likely that they are going to move out no matter how miserable you try to make them. The seem to be content with making you unhappy and mooching off of you. If you want them to leave, be direct. Tell them they have 30 days to find another place to live. If you have the money, offer to rent the truck and pay for movers to move thier things. Tell them that your decision is a direct result of thier behavior towards you and your daughter. Also let them know that they are welcome to visit (only if you can mean what you say). Help them find apartments, either one to live in together or separate apartments. Assist them with applying for public assistance if that is what they need to live on thier own. Dept. of Social Services can provide money for a deposit and possibly ongoing rental assistance as long as you provide DSS with a letter stating that you are evicting these family members. Realise that if you do this, you will be doing most of the work to get them out, but if what you say is true then it will be best for you and your daughter.
Good Luck.
2006-11-12 16:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because their family doesn't mean you have to put up with them.
Just go stand right in front of them both and say: This is my home and I'd like very much for you to leave. Remind them you are under no obligation to them.
If you want to use money matters as the issue, tell them you can't afford to keep a roof over their head, barley your.
Toooooo many people let others walk all over them. Put a stop to it now. You'll be glad u did.
2006-11-12 15:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you should just tell them that they need to find somewhere else to live. If they ask why, let them know that you are aware of the fact that they are badmouthing you. I know that it is easier said than done, because you're probabaly afraid of hurting thier feeling or them getting mad at you, but they are two adults, and if they aren't mature enough to take care of themselves and appreciate that you are helping them, then just let them be mad. I know it doesn't sound like the christain thing to do, but I assume you are not out to hurt them, but apparently they are out to hurt you. They may be mad now, but trust me one day they'll wake up and realize they were wrong. They may not ever let you know it, but it'll happen.
2006-11-12 16:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by parent11 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's your home...they should respect you in your home and no matter what relation they are to you, they need to respect the boundaries and comprehend all that you do for them. As this is something they seem to be refusing to do at the moment...stop doing for them...stop making them comfortable. Don't do things to please them and don't let them push your buttons. For the time being, exit all personal interactions...speak only when spoken to and don't let to details about anything...Take care of your responsibilities that don't benefit them in any way as they are adults and therefore should be responsible for themselves...When they run out of the old ammo and learn that the new ammo they're throwing at you has no impact...they'll either leave or change their course...Best wishes.
2006-11-12 15:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A method employeed by the military is loud rock and roll music blaring day and night. Maybe if you quit paying the bills you could get evicted and move into a smaller place.
2006-11-12 15:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by Qt 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
say either help me with the rent food etc or leave!! jesus they are taking you for a fool!!!
i really think you should sit them down and say its time you two got your own place. i cant handle living and paying for 3 people so id like you to leave please!
if they get ignorant and start bad mouthing you, do the same!!
2006-11-12 15:52:41 · answer #9 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if your the one paying the bills you have the right to throw them out
want them to go
ask them to pay equal shares towards household expenses and see how fast they go
why should they pay when you let them freeload
i think your great for not wanting to hurt your mom by throwing her mom out
but your allowing yourself to be a doormat
let them go live with your mom
2006-11-12 15:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋