Im pregnant and do not wish to see the dad or have him in my house as he is abusive. If he goes through the courts, how long before it is sorted out. Im happy for him to see my child supervised and no member of my family want to see him, I don't want to see him as he is abusive and Im scared and I don't wish him to know where Im living as he'll stalk me.
Im also worried about non supervised access as I constantly had bruising while we together from his enthusastic hugging! My mother is worried he will break the new born's bones.
2006-11-12 07:37:52 · 12 answers · asked by oceanwaves 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Well when the baby is born if he trys to be there you can kick him out. Father or not, they will not allow anyone in that the mother doesn't want there because it will upset her and the baby. My sister got the father of hers kicked out. You also should NOT put him on the birth certificate. I don't know if you have the same law there, but here if the father doesn't sign a paternity agreement in the hospital anyway, then they can't put him on it. So keep him away. After that he will have to file in the courts for a paternity test if he even cares and he still won't have legal access to the child until proven he is the father. Hire a good lawyer that can help you prove your case that he is abusive and unfit to be around you or the child. It would be really good to go ahead and file for a restraining order now, that way they already know that your frightened of him, and if he violates it he will be arrested immediately, making your case against him even stronger. I wish you the best of luck and offer you my prayers. No one deserves to feel scared like that.
2006-11-12 09:49:45 · answer #1 · answered by Chelle's Belle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not under any circumstances let this man around ur child. It will take a couple of months or so for the court proceedings. U need to get a restraining order against him, but it will only be a temporary, until u go back to court. You need evidence againest him; pictures, witnesses, etc. The more evidence u have againest him the better. Then after the court proceedings then can give u a restraining order for up to 5 yrs. And i do believe u can still get child support out of him, that's the least he can do.
2006-11-12 12:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by poohbie_red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a court order, which can happen as fast as a day if there is proof of previous abuse. If his name is not on the birth certificate, he has no legal rights until he goes the route of getting everything legally done in his favor, which can take weeks or months after the baby is born, but with a past of abuse once he does get any type of visitation it will automatically be supervised.
2006-11-12 07:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by karen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is giving you hassle, tell him he isn't the father, it will cost him £500 for the test to prove that the baby is his and then it doesn't either prove him to be the dad or not, it just tells him that he could be the dad, unless he has a rare blood group, he might not want to have anything to do with you if you tell him that he isn't the dad. I wish i had done that with my last husband ( he was also very abusive) worse once i had our son, now he isn't allowed to see our son because of how abusive (physically and mentally)and manipulative he is..
2006-11-12 07:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by sky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok heres the deal, is it recorded that he is abusive? if it is then you can have supervised visitation through the courts. if its not you will have to prove it. get witnesses that have seen him do it and let them testify for you. do not put his name on the birth certificate. you can choose not to do that as you are not married. tell the hospital you dont know who the dad is and through courts they will do a dna test. at their cost, you wont have to pay. maybe he will show his true colors in front of someone in the court and be granted full custody and supervised visitation. my daughters father has supervised visits because he threatened to take her to guatemal with him and he was stupid enough to tell the courts that he didnt mean it. good luck i know how youre feeling, its scarey.
2006-11-12 13:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by tsd574 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is scary, my heart goes out to you and for your yet unborn child. Please don't even consider thinking of getting back with him although it seems like you know what you want. There are too many people here in Uk who has the same problems and men like that gives me the heebie-jeebies. Scary. Be strong and do what the other people who answered said, get a restraining order . Men who are abusive are just cowards that is why they hit and abuse defenseless woman and children. I despise men like that. Good luck and like i have said before be strong:)))
2006-11-12 21:08:37 · answer #6 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should arrange it so neither of you see each other, say through an intermediary such as your mother while giving him access at two years of the child's age onwards. Especially if he is not of Western persuasion and the child is a male. You must realise that there is no correlation in relationships of women to men and men-to-men, especially to something as dear as this is to the father, which as you rightly assume, he will be very passionate about.
2006-11-12 07:48:35 · answer #7 · answered by Ta 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if the guy is abusive then he should have no contact with you and your child file a restraining order and include the unborn baby in it when you go to the hospital take a copy of the order and give it to the reception desk they will make sure he is not their
2006-11-12 07:53:42 · answer #8 · answered by steamroller98439 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea how long this will take, but I am pretty sure you need to get a restraining order NOW. Call the police and have them lead you through it. I'm no expert, but it's the best advice I can give you.
2006-11-12 07:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by Amy F 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It may be different in your country but here in the UK, you would see a lawyer and he would sort it all out.
He has no rights anyway till the baby is born if your not married.
2006-11-12 07:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by LMH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋