My boyfriend of almost 2 years has what we believe to be rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. I do not know very much about the specific disorder or how to deal with it. He has never been formally diagnosed and refuses to see a doctor or specialist for possible treatment.
I am at my wit's end- I love him very much and very desperately want to help him but I am starting to feel like I am beginning to develop mental health issues of my own as a result of constantly trying to cope with how mean he is and always having to explain or justify myself from his accusations.
We 'fight' almost daily although I would not call it fighting because it is usually him being upset or angry at something he misinterprets and me trying to explain to him that no, I am not cheating on you, lying to you, laughing at you, making fun of you, hating you or saying you are stupid etc.
He makes me cry on a daily basis, but I know things must be much worse for him- I want to help him so much. It is very very hard
2006-11-12 07:22:45 · 16 answers · asked by gumbblondy 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
First of all I'm a 29 year old female with the same disorder as your boyfriend. The first question you need to ask yourself is How far are you willing to go in this relationship the way it is now? I understand when you say that "you love him very much and want to help him", but you can't help someone that dosen't want to be helped. Yes this illness can bring down others around you if your not careful. Your boyfriend,in my opinion is scared to acknowledge that he has an illness. He needs to be seen by a profeesional who can diagnose him proporly and put him on the right meds,But you have to do what you have to do for yourself first. If you start falling apart then who will be there for him. You have some big decisions ahead in your future,but remember God Loves You. Good Luck to both you and your boyfriend.
2006-11-12 10:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by heartyangel98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I have the same rapid-cycling bipolar as your boyfriend. And like your boyfriend, I've never been formally diagnosed. I have avoided realtionships up until now for the above reasons you describe. Its not easy being the person with bipolar and its probably worse living with the person who has it. Here is what is helping me lately. I got a prescription for topamax from my doctor for pain. Little did I know that its one of the main medicines used to treat bipolar and you don't gain weight like lithium. It takes about a month to get used to and now 80% of my anger is gone. (and all side effects go away in about two weeks) Encourage your boyfriend to get an official diagnoses. I think I should get one too. (the meds are expensive)
2006-11-12 07:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by Rockford 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just ended a friendship with someone i'm very deeply in love with, she too got mean with me, didn't want to hear it when i tried to apologize to her for whatever i had done {Half the time i didn't know why she was mad at me}, she's been dianoged {sp} with Bipolar and have Rapid - Cycle episodes. I tried for over a year with her, on 2 occasions she got very mean with me and no matter what i did it only made things worse for me. It got to the point where she didn't trust me anymore and she started comparing me with her boyfriend. I tried everything i could NOT to end the friendship, but it started draining me emotionally. It's not easy loving someone who's Bipolar, it takes a lot of energy, but you have to remember to take care of yourself and not get lost in trying to take care of the person you love. Hopefully your boyfriend will seek professional help so he can get on some meds. Good Luck!
2006-11-12 10:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what your going through my big brother has had bipolarsince the 6 th grade now he's a senoir in high school. it can be really hard on everyone. but your right it probably is harder on your boyfriend. i don't know about you but growing up with bipolar in my life i'v seen my brother cry (and he's the most manly man i'v met) i'v seen him beat his punching bag till his knockles bleed. i'v seen him go through the good times and the bad. but you should know 1 thing is that he really loves you but he like an animal he dosn't know how to show it. showing emotion is one thing that bipolar people arn't good at doing. so i know it can be hard, but trust me i may be olny 13 but i know a lot about this stuff, sadly, you should stay with him. work things out together, show all your love. if at all posibl get him to take some medacine, and if he works hard to mantain his anger he can come off it in time. thats what my brother is doing. for most of his life he took like 8 pill a day or so. but for 3 month now he's been off medacine because he wants to join the army and you have to be problem free for 1 year to do that, and he's be holding his own very well. so tell your boyfriend that he needs to take medacine, but encourage him, and tell him that he dosn't have to take it for life. if you work together things will pull through. don't just dump someone cuz you don't have the time, or patience to get though the ruff spots. you can't just walk away from someone who needs you.
ps sorry if i have any typos i'm not the best speller
2006-11-12 09:47:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without a formal diagnosis no one can be sure this is even Bipolar Disorder. Even Bipolars who aren't on medication have periods of rational behavior (no depression and no manias). Fighting and making you cry everyday for two years, thinking you're cheating and making fun of him etc. sounds more like borderline personality disorder or flat out paranoia. This guy's hostility could turn ugly and you don't want to be there for it.
2006-11-12 08:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! This is exactly what happened to me and my girlfriend, now fiance. we were fighting and crying half of the time, and the other half it was good. i would probably be institutionalized if i didnt have her supporting me. give him some time and get him some help. my girlfriend set up a doctor appointment for me and brought me there, pretty much forcing me to go. and it is the best thing anyone has EVER done for me. and it made me fight the problem even more because i knew how much SOMEONE cared. at first, i didnt recognize my problem and didn't admit to it, but once i was at the doctors, be4 i even really talked, he started describin my symptoms. he was dead on. i guess i had luck, tho, to have a girlfriend who cared so much and a doctor who was that good.
If you have any questions about ANYTHING AT ALL, feel free to email me. i will help the best i can.
john@hw7online.com
2006-11-12 08:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by HW-7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing is to break up. Love is not supposed to hurt. It's better to be by yourself for the right reasons than be with someone for the wrong reasons.
GO to counseling. This is not about you. If he does not want help you can't make him get help.
I went through the same thing with someone. He did not get help. The cheating raged on. He felt remorse but could not stop. I got out. The couseling helps tremendously.
The guy will try to call you, and see you. Do what you have to. Move, get unlisted # whatever it takes.
2006-11-15 04:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, if he won't get help then there's very little you can do, to be honest. The only suggestions I have are to educate yourself, and not get into internet/DIY diagnosis.
I'd also like to suggest you look up Borderline Personality Disorder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality as this is often confused with Bipolar, and the meanness you describe does not sound like bipolar.
2006-11-13 03:02:21 · answer #8 · answered by Random Bloke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him how you are feeling? I think that having a heart to heart with him explaining that he he doesn't seek some help then you and him can no longer go on. Also letting him know that you'll be there for him when he does and go with him if he needs that. There isn't much choice he as it sounds like he really needs to reach out to a professional. You need to think about your safety! Since he sounds so insecure you never know what his next personality might be.
2006-11-12 07:36:27 · answer #9 · answered by Amy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to convince him to get treatment..... if really he doesn't want to get the treatement, I would break up because it won't get better, probably even worse; and if you fight almost daily and if you cry daily, well I think it's pretty bad already.
I know that breaking up is hard, but sometimes it has to be done. You'll be better off without him and with somebody else.
2006-11-12 07:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋