2006-11-12 07:11:10 · 26 answers · asked by Bartholowmewthree 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This is so old! Like me! pmsl...
Heres a few others to keep you going!
WAL-MART APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus sto ck options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstake s, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
***Old People Rock!***
2006-11-12 07:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by Warmnjuicy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He melted away whilst trying to save, Frosty the Snowman
2006-11-12 15:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by amyirmanmamansoaam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the chocolate fire guard joke to me!
2006-11-12 15:15:05 · answer #3 · answered by Val G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he kept warm.lots of plastic surgeons dont have plastic surgery
2006-11-12 15:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Cynical 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He turned red like that Will guy on Big Brother this summer.
2006-11-12 15:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
plastic caught on fire adn blew up the house...
2006-11-12 15:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He melted
2006-11-13 09:03:45 · answer #7 · answered by Tudor B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw..an oldie. He melted
2006-11-12 15:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He made a complete pool of himself.,
2006-11-13 11:19:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's an affirmative on the melting.Roger.
2006-11-12 15:16:00 · answer #10 · answered by Comet girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋