What next?How \What do I do?Girls advice...serious answers only please...?A long one…HELP?

Question

I seem to be questioning my friendship with my close female friend.The reasons being is that when I told her how I felt she said no because she didn't want to risk losing the friendship.Other reasons included:

1)Her view of a relationship is what we already do(apart from physical), so I asked would it be that wrong to add the physical aspect to it.She said NO, but that it wouldn't feel right-what does this mean?
2)She said we wouldn't work out as a couple but said she does not know why--has got a feeling,would not even give it a try.
3)Said I'm attractive,but its just ME as a whole that she does not see herself being with.What's this mean?
4)Said she don’t deserve my feelings,someone else does
5)Said I was too easy/available-meaning?
SHE ALWAYS TELLS ME THE TRUTH-WUD NOT LIE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER/SPARE FEELINGS,IS ALWAYS HONEST

Not spoken for 6 days now:
What is she thinking\feeling??
Will she get in touch with me?? Why hasn't she got in touch asking whats up??

Advice.

What do her reasons mean? She’s txt my friend asking if he knows whats up with me,why hasn’t she txt asking me???

Answer 1

Its pretty tough when someone doesnt feel the same way about you. Dont feel bad though. She obviously doesnt want to ruin the friendship you two have. And thats more important. She will be your friend forever, than if you were going out, there a 50/50 chance you could split up and never speak again. I think its good that you told her, but hopefully it hasnt freaked her out. She might just be thinking about what you have said to her from her not getting back in touch with you. Give her time. its probably a shock to her, after she sees you as just a friend. From what you said in : number 1, she means she wouldnt mind getting physical with you, but doesnt want to because it would ruin what you two have already. Number 2, kinda the same as number 1, she doesnt want to ruin the friendship, so wont even try. Number 3 means, she sees you as a mate only, and being with you would be like going out with a mate and kissing you and getting physical would be "crossing the boundaries" (I have had that experience and we only lasted a month, but was really close friends for years, number 4, she means you are too good for her and she doesnt deserve you (thats a huge compliment!) Im not sure what number 5 means. To me that sounds like your too easy to be attracted to her, (as if you'd fall for just anyone) Maybe she wants a challenge instead of it being right in front of her on a plate? Im not sure. As i said its hard. I think she is thinking things through/asking her mates what to do etc. She will get back in touch with you, because if you did mean anything to her(friendship or any other way), she would still be there with you. i hope you work things out, you sound like a lovely guy. hope i helped a bit. =)

Answer 2

Someone once told me that if someone says "I'm not good enough for you" they're probably right. But. . .*shrugging*

If you really like (dare I say it, love?) this girl, I would suggest taking a wait and see approach. It may be that she's terrified at the thought of a relationship right now. It may also be that she does only love you as a friend. It's hard to say what's in her mind. Without knowing what she thinks, I'd venture to say that she sounds like a wonderful girl, and most likely one that you could spend your life with. But, maybe not. How long have you known each other?

I'll list the numbers of each of your questions, and my comments will follow:

1) This is a common thing I've heard between close friends who are suddenly becoming more than friends. The physical stuff will seem a bit daunting at first, especially since it's quite normal for guy/girl friends to think of one another as brother/sister at times. Let's face it, that's just plain gross. . .lol. Some couples who started out as friends did have a hard time with the sex/physical stuff, but they eventually overcame it. If you do start a relationship with this girl, I wouldn't move too quickly on the sex part. Respect how she feels about this, and give her the time to adjust, and ultimately let her make the decision when to move forward with this one. Sex isn't the end all and be all of a relationship.
2) I'm not sure what to say here, except that maybe she just isn't interested in you this way. It could also be that she's afraid of losing one of her closest and dearest friends. It's not easy to remain friends after a couple break up; usually the stronger and longer the history, the harder the break up can be.
3) I'm not sure what she means by this. Other than again to say that she doesn't sound like she's interested in you that way, or that she's terrified of losing a dear friend.
4) Usually when someone says this, they're probably right, so I've been told. Some people also use it as an excuse instead of outright saying "I don't want to be with you." Ever hear of the whole "It's not you, it's me!" excuse? What that really means is "It's not me, it's you! I just don't want to sound like an ***."
5) Play hard to get. It just might work.

Can't say what she's thinking or feeling, as I'm not a mind-reader, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's so much going on inside her head that she can't even straighten it all out. But anyways, good luck, and I hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

Ok Ok I understand your pain!! I have gone through some of the same things tha tyou are talking about now. Believe me!!! But I can definently tell you how she's feeling. Girls are not all the same. Some girls are soft on the outside and solid on the inside. And others are solid on the outside and soft on the inside. Others are solind on the inside and out. And others are soft on the inside and out. We all are very different. The first thing you have to do is see which type of girls she is, then you can take it from there. Here are some helpful clues:

*Inside:Soft ; Outside:Soft*
(1.) Be careful with everything you say!! She is very vonerable and can break down VERY VERY VERY easily.
(2.) Dont make any moves that will make her feel uncomfortable. She'll let all of her amotions go and you'll be stuck listening to her crying and weeping. And I know you don't want to deal with that.

*Inside:Soft ; Outside:Solid*
(1.) With this type of person, you can throw anything at her and it will appear that it doesn't bother her. But on the inside she'll be hurting
(2.) Also don't say or do anything that will cause harm, because she will store all of that up on the inside and one day "POP"!!

*Inside:Solid ; Outside: Soft*
(1.) This kind of girl will act like she is in pain just because you said something wrong. She will break down crying ( might I mention that she makes herself cry) to make you think that it is all your fault.
(2.) On the inside any and everything you do doesn't bother her at all. As long as she makes her sad puppy face when ever your around, she'll never be found out.

*Inside: Solid ; Outside: Solid*
(1.) Like me; this girl won't be bothered by anything. You could kill her cat and she won't break down. It doesn't matter.
(2.) Little things might make her mad and piss her off, but nothing major.

Just make sure that you 2 are ready to make the right move. But if she doesn't want to, then don't pressure her, @ ALL. Hope this was enough info for you.

Love, Kiki

Answer 4

Not trying to be mean or anything but that sounds like a cop out She was trying to let you down easy because you are her friend have you called her? Tell her you think she is right We are better off as friends and that you do not want to lose that. Just say you was caught in the moment . Your girl is out there just wait If she wants more with you -you have done what you can do and that is left it open if she bites then Good If not at least you are still chilling RIGHT

Answer 5

when you're friends with someone for so long saying that you want to progress your relationship can really do damage. she really cares about you as a friend it seems, but she doesn't want to lose what have if you two were to get involved and then break up.
she probably hasn't called bc she's not sure what to do or think or even say anymore. just give her some time and then she how she feels. you need to let her know that you're sorry if you have scared her in anyway and that you don't want to lose her friendship. one of my guy friends did this to me. it was awkward at first, but he respected the way i felt as did i with his feelings. i never friendly flirted with him anymore so it wouldn't seem as though i liked him when i didn't. i needed some time. actually like a couple of weeks. but i realized something. he cared about me so much that i knew he would never let me down. just make sure that YOU understand that when she does get involved with someone else, don't get all overly jealous and say mean things about him just bc you'd rather her to be with you instead of the other guy, it will only ruin your friendship with her. good luck

Answer 6

in certain situations you fel alot for someone as a pal yet don't experience bodily fascinated in that human being, which makes it complicated to get right into a courting. It would not advise she would not love you and the jelousy should be all the way down to the actuality that she sees a lot less of you once you're in a courting with somebody else. Be carefull! If she says she would not want any more beneficial than friendship, you'll push her away in case you keep on at her. do you want to lose her altogether? good success. x

Answer 7

Give her a call first your the guy and they would always expect it from the guy. And let me just say this one thing i am a female and have said almost everything in there that you put down, understanding a female is one of the hardest things known in mankind we are females and we are complicated at times to understand.

for question number one: when she says it wouldnt feel right meaning you guys are in a friendship and it would feel weird to be with a friend in that way.

for question number two: I think what she was saying is that if things went wrong as a couple you would loose friendship face it most guys tend to drift apart from the friendship after dating her.

for question number three: your to attractive for her {i think}

for question number four: she may think that you shouldnt have feelings for her in that way, as far as why she thinks that is she thinks you may be to good for her she dont think she deserves someone as good as you.

for question number five: i am not to sure where she is getting at on that one.

and if you havent spoke to her in 6 days call her up and talk to her.

Answer 8

Ok I have been this girl. Now it is 7 years later and I feel bad for the way I treated my best guy friend. She is probably feeling a bit confused and doesn't want to talk to you because she feels she might lead you on. Call her like nothing ever happened. My very best advice for you is to go find someone to date. Trust me the second you start dating someone she will either feel better that you have moved on or feel horrible about letting you go.

Answer 9

maybe she feels in an awkard suituation now, and because youve told her you like her more than a friend she doesnt know what to do. She may like you but sees you as a friend and feels that moving beyond friends is a bad thing because if all doesnt work out the friendship will be ruined. Give her time and just accept the friendship. you dont want to loose her altogether because your forcing her to be with you. she obviously values your friendship more than a quick fling which may lead to loosing you

Answer 10

1.she is not sexually attracted to you.
2.she just doesnt want to go out with her/you are not her type
3.you are cute but there are some parts of your body that turn her off.
4.she was looking for a way to make you feel better.
5. you are desparate( a desparado)
she just does not feel comfortable around you anymore because she is now aware how you feel about her it does not make her very happy. my advice- just give up on her and get someone else.