My husband and I are seperated with no chance of reconciling. His decision. I won't talk bad about her dad because of our little girl. Unfortunately he is a major hypochondriac. He's convinced he has a mysterious disease that is going to kill him. I told him he can't discuss his illnesses in front of our daughter, because he scares her. She is the true personna of "Daddy's Little Girl."
I have been given a wonderful opportunity that will give my family a better life. However, it is about 2000 miles away. I was explaining the move to our daughter & she doesn't want to leave because daddy needs her. I explained daddy has his whole family here to take care of him & he is fine. He will come visit her often & he loves her. We get to live with Granny in a house with a big yard. She can plant her own little garden. So how do I explain to a 5 yr old that Daddy will be fine & how nice will be to live in a safe area with good schools & lots of room to play.
2006-11-12 06:51:38 · 17 answers · asked by Amy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have seriously considered my options. The move is necessary. I know she needs her daddy too & I don't want to seperate them. But at the same time his constant complaining of illnesses is not good for her either. I am losing my job soon & need to find work. There are alot of career opportunities where we will be living. But most important there is an extended family support system that all my kids can benefit from. My youngest is the only one upset & I just want her happy again.
2006-11-12 07:15:24 · update #1
my mother moved away from my father and it was the only choice to make. we had loving grandparents and all made a good live. later when my fater really was ill he came and we cared for him until his death. Fathers can move too.
2006-11-12 07:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by marilee w 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not easy to reason with a five year old about such things, but it sounds like you have explained the situation very well. It is up to her to trust what you say. Most likely, she will have to wait and see this for herself after ya'll move. I'm sure she will love her new house and do very well, but she is afraid of the change and has not yet adjusted to being away from her dad. I can almost guarantee that she will feel much better after the move is complete and she is established in a stable home.
If at all possible, her dad needs to cooperate and be reassuring to his daughter that he (and she) will be ok. They need to communicate regularly, but only if he is speaking positively to her....not scaring her or making her sad. If he is causing problems, he needs to seek professional help.
I hope that everything works out well for you and your family.
2006-11-12 15:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its great that you might be getting a better life. I don't think its great to separate "Daddy's Little Girl" 2000 miles from the father she loves. For your child's sake, is it really the ONLY decision you can make? Even if you don't live a perfect life in a perfect house, I'm sure your daughter will thank you down the road for letting her stay in close distance to her daddy.
Otherwise, you should explain to her that it IS the only option for you all but that you will do everything in your power to make sure she still sees her daddy on a regular basis.
2006-11-12 14:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by xoxo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would reassure your daughter everyday, that alls she needs to know is that mommy & daddy love her very much & thats all she needs to concerned about. Splitting up is very hard on kids. When my x & I split my kids were 7, 9 & 11.. I reassured them everyday that they only needed to worry about their school work, having 2 shoes & that even though mommy & daddy don't get along, We both still love you very much. The more you say this to your daughter,.. the more comfortable she will be. They need time, as we do to adjust. Remind her of all the good memories.. Sometimes kids think that maybe one parent won't love them anymore. Which I dealt with that with my oldest son thru out the split & the divorce. Just keep your head up & keep reassuring your little girl.
2006-11-12 15:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kammaka2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of the FAMILY you must move. Make sure the 5 year old knows she is loved no matter where she live. Time heels all. Moveing is never easy no matter what the reason. But it will all work out. GOOD luck with the move and the future.
2006-11-12 16:00:56 · answer #5 · answered by sersa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember, she's only a LITTLE GIRL and will feel sad when she leaves daddy, but once she gets to her new surroundings and finds love and contentment with her extended family she slowly forget her past. don't get me wrong, she'll know that she has a daddy that loves her, but her time is going to be taken up with new adventures so don't worry too much of what you have to tell her - things will fall into place without you having to say anything. good luck.
2006-11-12 15:04:18 · answer #6 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gee that's hard on any lil girl, just keep reassuring her that her Dad will Always be there for her and that he loves her dearly. but you have to do this . tell her mommy will never let her down and that daddy will not either... and she will have great vacations with her dad( if thats possible). remember she's only 5' it will take some time. I wish you all the best.
2006-11-12 14:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's hard to say bc all children are different, but i can tell you what works with my daughter. she is four years old and anytime she is afraid or scared, all i have to do is let her know that mommy is the smartest, sounds a little conceited, but if she feels like you know everything, and would never let her down, she will trust everything you say. your situation is a little different than mine, but i recently remarried and my daughter didn't want to move in with her step father, so i had to let her know that if it was a bad decision, mommy wouldn't do it. i also let her call "santa" on the phone, she talks to him about everything, just little things like that will make children feel better about what's going on. but never let your child hear you being doubtful, if you are. and you don't really have to explain all the details, she is only five.
2006-11-12 14:57:15 · answer #8 · answered by ~~kelly~~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, you need to do whatever is in the best interest of your child. The move is obviously in her best interest, so go for it! In time, she'll know that you did the right thing. You're correct in not elaborating on Daddy's faults. Best of luck!
2006-11-12 15:19:32 · answer #9 · answered by grandm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't move. The child needs her father around even with his bad habits.
My dad left us when I was ten. I was scared of men and boys for a lifetime. I knew they would leave me and never had a good relationship.
Don't do this to your child.
2006-11-12 15:19:31 · answer #10 · answered by nancymomkids 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋